But when I
have asked the girls at the Bible college if they are excited that they will be
graduating soon, their reaction is hesitant. I got the same response when I
asked last year's graduates, too.
"I
feel afraid." In my mind, I am thinking maybe they are afraid of the
speech they have to give or afraid of being in front of people; but as they
explain, I find it is something much more serious.
"After
that, then what to do?"
After
that... Then what? They have reached the goal, but with the achievement comes
challenges. Some of these girls will have to return to their home villages and
stay with their families since after graduation they cannot remain in the
dorms. Many of their villages do not have a church. They may even be returning
as the only Christian in the village. The reality of isolation sets in.
Yes, that
would be pretty frightening and challenging. It would be much simpler if they
could just live in the dorm, attend the same church, and keep attending college
forever.
Graduation...
After that... Then what? I got my diploma... So now what?
Sometimes we all are faced with feeling a myriad of emotions, two of which are excitement and fear. We reach a goal or an open door of opportunity, and we find ourselves asking, "What do I do now?" And the isolation? It is amazing to me how I can be sitting in a room full of people and yet feel so isolated. The barrier of language and culture is sometimes overwhelming.
For me... I graduated
from deputation. I reached the field... So now what?
After that,
it is time to DO what I have learned to do.
It is time to put into practice
what I have been taught. No, not things like playing the piano, passing out tracts,
and teaching ladies meetings. Things much more serious than that.
1) I have
learned how to feed in God's Word.
I remember
when my children were young enough that I had to feed them. They could open
their mouths, but no matter how hard they tried they could not get food in
their own mouths. A big milestone in their development was when they learned to
pick up Cheerios, hold their own bottles, hold a spoon, and eventually they
were able to completely feed themselves.
As I sit in
church in my new country, I cannot understand what the preacher is saying. Sometimes the
congregation laughs or "amens," and I sit their like a knot on a log.
They scribble notes in their notebooks for future reference. Their heads nod in agreement. Sometimes a tear fills their eye. I sit their with my spiritual mouth gaping open, yet no one is bringing the
spoon to my mouth. If I do not feed myself a healthy spiritual diet, I will
become spiritually malnourished.
It was easy in the States. Yes, I did
devotions through the whole week, but it was easy to count on someone else at least
three times a week to feed me. They labored in the Word, and I reaped the
benefits as they shoveled it in my mouth each church service.
But now it
is time for me to pick up the spoon and go beyond just personal devotions and
family devotions. Now is the time to labor in God's Word and to find
nourishment from all the avenues God has blessed me with. Praise the Lord for
Internet and downloadable sermons in English! Praise the Lord that I can easily
listen to English songs!
God has
placed our family (and many other missionary families) in situations where we
cannot depend on someone else to pick up the spiritual spoon for us in the
church setting. (I look forward to the day when this happens again, but the fact of the matter is... that time is not right now.) But He has trained me how to pick up the spoon myself... how to find spiritual food to keep me healthy.
So now
what?
Pick up the spoon.
Sources of great
sermons online:
(This pastor's sermons are full of meat! Love it!)
Sources of
great music:
There are
several local radio stations in the States that have internet ministries. Too
many to list! But here are a couple of internet ministries that have been a
blessing:
(I love that this one has several "stations" to
choose from. There is an instrumental station for when we are doing school, a
seasonal station for when we really need a holiday pick-me-up, and even a
children's station!)
Psalm 22:26
"The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek
him: your heart shall live for ever."
2) I have
learned how to have intimate fellowship with the Lord.
We had one
child who we thought would never walk. It wasn't that he couldn't. He was just
quite content sitting or crawling. He loved to be held and carried. When he
finally learned to walk, he enjoyed it very much. Matter of fact, he rarely can
be still now! But one of his favorite things is to crawl up in Daddy's lap. He
loves to hang out with Daddy. When Daddy works, he works. When Daddy rests, he
wants to be close to him. He is Daddy's little shadow. He loves fellowshipping
with his Daddy and learning from him.
I have to
admit, I really miss the close fellowship of our home church. It is difficult
feeling like the outsider. The people of the church try hard. It isn't their fault.
We just don't understand each other enough to have intimate fellowship!
When I
first became a Christian, I thought I really knew Him. It wasn't His fault that
I didn't have a close, intimate relationship with Him. But as I have grown in
the Lord, oh how sweet true, intimate fellowship has become! He has taught me
how to be a Mary, although I sure struggle keeping my Martha nature in check
sometimes! He has taught me how to sit at His feet and hear His voice and to
talk to Him. He has taught me that no matter how alone I feel, He is there...
And HE IS ENOUGH! I have learned to walk, but I need to remember to sit.
Though I
may not be able to have a close, intimate fellowship with my church family here
right now, I can have a close, intimate, and SATISFYING fellowship with my
Saviour.
So now
what?
Sit at His feet.
Luke 10:42
"But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which
shall not be taken away from her."
3) I have
learned how to encourage myself in the Lord.
My children
love to swim, but I remember when our oldest child was still getting over his
fear of water. Daddy would take him out in the water at the beach or at a pool.
Occasionally, water would splash in his little face or his head would go under
water for a fraction of a second as they jumped in the pool.
Ben would
look up at his Daddy in a panic. But when he saw that his Daddy had a smile on
his face, Ben would relax and smile, too. When he would look up at his Daddy,
he was checking to see if Daddy was afraid. If Daddy was afraid, that meant he
needed to be afraid, too. Daddy was never afraid. Daddy’s smile encouraged Ben.
Sometimes
we look around to be encouraged by others. We feel like we are in way over our
heads. When we do not find the encouragement we need from others, we panic.
Instead, we need to learn to look to our Father. He is not panicking. He is not
afraid. He is smiling. We may feel like we have jumped in water over our heads,
but we have never jumped in water over HIS head!
So now what?
Look for His smile.
1 Samuel 30:6 “And David was greatly distressed; for the
people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved,
every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in
the LORD his God.”
4) I have learned how to keep pressing forward.
I remember
one day, the same child that likes so much to work with Daddy had a big task to
accomplish. It was no small thing for his small body.
It had
snowed 17 inches. The kids and Daddy all decided to go sledding down the hill
across the road from our house. I do not enjoy being cold, but I agreed to step
outside long enough to snap a few pictures.
That is usually the extent of my snow adventures. (Sorry! I do not get
the Mom-of-the-Year Award when it comes to snow!)
They had a
blast sledding down the long hill, but coming back up was not so fun. Gabriel,
our youngest, had to trek back up the hill with his little legs. Even in the
packed down snow, it was difficult for him. He was dragging his little sled
behind him. He was about 20 feet from the top and extremely tired. Suddenly we
heard him desperately yelling, “Up!” “Up!” …. “Uuuuupppp!”
This four
year old boy was literally willing his feet to take the next steps. He refused
to quit until he reached the top. With every step, he yelled at his feet, “Up!”
He pressed forward. He was not strolling forward and casually floating across
the finish line. The walk was grueling, tough, painful even. He PRESSED! (And with a little help, he succeeded!)
As our
family is about to finish the first year on the field, I am reminded that there
are times when I will not be able to just causally walk... I will have to
press! The rosy glasses view of missions is long gone! There were not people
waiting at the airport for us when we arrived saying, “We have been waiting for
you to come tell us about Jesus so we could be saved.” We did not learn the
language in six months. We do not have overwhelming mushy gushy love for the
place… and sometimes not even for the people.
What we do
have is an undeniable calling. We have a Saviour whom we love and desire to
please. We have a goal. And when things get tough, that is not the time to look
back!
Could you
imagine little Gabriel in the snow looking back toward the bottom? That
would not make much sense, now would it? What’s down there for him? NOTHING! If
he turned back and gave up… yes, going downhill is easier. But when he got to
the bottom, then what? There would be an overwhelming hill staring him in the
face.
Yes, going
back to the States would be easy in one sense… but then I would have a hill
staring me in the face for the rest of my life. The hill I never finished
climbing…
Instead, when things get tough, I
want to press forward. My Father is walking with me, strengthening me, helping
me. He has called me, and by His grace I want to climb this hill. (1Th 5:24
“Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.”)
Philippians
3:13-14 “Brethren, I count not myself to
have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those
things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ
Jesus.”
So now what?
Yell “up” until you reach the finish line.
**********************************************
I have LEARNED all these things, but what good does it do me if I do not put them into practice when it counts most?
Maybe you, too, have
found yourself at a crossroads, unsure of what to do now. When you don’t know
what to do, do what you know. Practice what you have been trained to do…
Pick up a
spoon... Feast directly from His Word regularly... as regularly as you would feed your body to keep it healthy.
Sit at His feet... Take time to fellowship with Him so that He can fill your longing for fellowship.
Look for His smile... Find your encouragement in the Lord.
Yell “up!” until you cross the
finish line... When things get tough, focus on the call and the prize.
Excellent and right on. One of your phrases looks like you read my book. :o) I know you haven't, so it was especially cool to see God direct two people to express a point that way. I liked the "rosy glasses off" view of missions. So true! What a blessing that all of our satisfaction and sustenance is in the Lord. We need look nowhere else. :o) A blessing! God bless you for sharing.
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