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Thursday, January 30, 2014

Delightful Deputation (Part 3) The Fun

Delightful Deputation (Part 1) The Focus
Delightful Deputation (Part 2) The Family

Maybe your definition of deputation looks more like this:

That time period when it's work, work, work, and nothing but sitting in a car or sitting in a hotel until you reach the field.

Um, well, deputation can be that for your family if you make it that way. But we had a totally different experience because deputation is what you make it.

Our definition looked more like this:

That time period when a missionary family travels around seeing things most people only see in books while they visit different churches.

Biltmore House

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Gelatin Pinwheel/ Fruity Roll-Ups


What you will need:

1 (3 oz.) pkg. jello
1/2 cup water
1 1/2 cups miniature marshmallows

What to do:

Lightly spray an 8 or 9 inch pan square pan with non-stick cooking spray and make sure it is spread well.

Stir together water and jello powder in a glass bowl and microwave for 1 minute.   Remove bowl and stir well making sure jello is dissolved.  If necessary, return to microwave for 20 seconds or so to make sure jello is dissolved and stir again.

Add marshmallows and return to microwave for 20-40 seconds or until marshmallows have just begun to puff. 

 This is the key to a successful marshmallow layer!  If you over cook the marshmallows, they just dissolve and your roll-up will not have two distinct layers.

Whisk quickly until marshmallows are dissolved.

Pour quickly into prepared pan and chill in fridge for 45 minutes or until well set.  Creamy layer will float to the top.

Remove the pan from fridge.  At this point,  the jello should be very firm and easy to handle.  Gently pull one side away from pan and lift entire sheet onto counter.  Starting at one end, roll up tightly.  With seam side down, cut into 10-12 (1/2) inch slices.  




We found it easiest to cut with a piece of thread or dental floss.  Just put the string around roll-up, cross and pull.

Monday, January 27, 2014

The Many Jobs of a Missionary ~ Caterer

Several containers of food pulled out of the freezer to be transported to a conference.
Several containers of food pulled out of the freezer to be transported to a conference.
Carson doesn't understand why he can't have any of the food!
Carson doesn't understand why he can't have any of the food!
Whenever I tell my mom of my latest mass cooking endeavor, she gets a glint of glee in her voice (I would say, in her eye, but I can't see her on the phone...) and asks triumphantly, "Oh, did they teach you that in college?" or some such variation.

I love that question. She's exactly right, and I laugh with her! Sometimes I am saddened by how little of my music degree I use on the field as a missionary's wife and a mother of small children; but most of the time, I'm too busy with said jobs to even think about it. I am so thankful for a mom who taught me to cook and plan in the kitchen. I wouldn't call myself a chef, but it's amazing how many events have utilized my what-I-would-deem "lowly," or at the most, quite ordinary culinary skills.
Lots of Christmas cookies baked to sell and for a party.
Lots of Christmas cookies baked to sell and to use for a party.
Now, I say "Caterer" in my title, because "Cook" will better describe a slight distinction in the many missionary job descriptions, a time when I care for my family or unexpected guests. But "Caterer" carries the idea of preparation for, and transport to, several guests. My teammate and I have cooked for church dinners, youth conferences, pastor's conferences, various parties and gatherings, a short term mission team (of men!), and college graduation luncheons.
Paptert (pronounced "poptart")--sort of like lasagna, only the layers are made with vuswa instead of pasta.
Paptert (pronounced "poptart")--sort of like lasagna, only the layers are made with vuswa instead of pasta.
So what are some things we make? Well, that will depend on the function and the guests. Sometimes we cook according to the traditional food here-- "maize meal porridge" or "vuswa" in Tsonga, cornmeal cooked up thick enough to hold it in your fingers and eat. Add saucy side dishes to vuswa, and you have a feast: spinach, fried cabbage, beets, boiled tomatoes, butternut puree, cole slaw, beans, beef stew, and/or chicken.
Cooking for a crowd: their staple, vuswa (thick cornmeal).
Cooking for a crowd: their staple, vuswa (thick cornmeal).
My homemade tomato soup cooking in a large pot.
My homemade tomato soup cooking in a large pot.
Sometimes we try to do more snack-y, handheld items like salads and sandwiches. For a recent African Pastor's Conference that we hosted, I happened to be the main cook, as we didn't have adult ladies from our churches available at the time to help, and my teammate was likewise unavailable. I made muffins days in advance and froze them for an easy breakfast when the men trickled in. Lunches were also easy--sandwiches, fruit, chips, and homemade brownies or cookies.

I got some help for the dinners. Ladies from a nearby national church made the staples in their big outdoor pots--vuswa one night, and rice the next. I made the meat side dish and tried to keep it cheap--one night was chicken in a slow cooker (plus an extra borrowed slow cooker), and the next night was chili on rice. I also made most of the vegetable side dishes, but got some help with some of them as well as a "pudding" for dessert each night. In the end, I did not even have to travel to the nearby town with my children in order to oversee the meals. A lady from the hosting church (very small, mostly elderly members) put the prepared food on the serving table and directed the clean-up. I stayed home and homeschooled my children.

So it takes quite a bit of planning, personal doing, and help from others to cater, but it's one of those things that either must be done in order for the function to exist, or it simply makes the function so much better. I enjoy it for the most part!

IMG_0803

Aren't you surprised sometimes at the jobs the Lord gave you to do? Yet He enables for each task. And likewise we, when we have done all those things that are commanded us, say, "We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do." 

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Many "Firsts"

written by Laura Consford
We recently returned to the United States from Ghana for furlough. Our children are experiencing many “firsts.” Some of them are things that they have done before, but it has been so long that they do not really remember doing it before.
One day, I was out shopping with my five-year-old daughter and my mother-in-law. It was close to lunch time. Nana asked Bonnie if she wanted to go to McDonalds for lunch. Bonnie just looked at her. Then, it hit me that she did not remember McDonalds. After eating lunch there, she thought it was a pretty great place! The boys were upset that we went to McDonalds without them!
Our “first” trip to Wal-Mart was quite a shocking experience too. There are big super-market type stores in Ghana but none in our area. When we first walked in, Gilbert said, “It’s so big!” Bonnie said, “It’s so clean!” Danny wanted to make sure that there were plenty more of his favorite items still on the shelf. (In Ghana, if we see something that we really want, we have to buy it right away because it usually is not there the next time that we go back.)
Our children have been hoping for snow too.  They got their wish! They were up bright and early the next morning waiting to build a snowman.  It was only an inch or two of snow, but that was lots of snow for children who have been living in Africa! The snow melted before the day was out, but they did get a snowman built in the morning.
Another first was a trip to the dentist for all of the children. They were all a little leery of going to the dentist, but they decided that it was not so bad. My husband had to go to the dentist in Ghana; after the children heard him talk about his dentist's visit, they were not so sure about going to the dentist.
The children saw a bald eagle by the lake near our house. They were really amazed about that. They have also enjoyed spotting deer and raccoon and listening to the coyotes howl at night. However, they do not want to go outside after dark by themselves. "What if a coyote gets us???"
Seeing things for the “first” time through the eyes of our children is such a joy!  Until next week, keep your sunny side up!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Delightful Deputation (Part 2) The Family


If you haven't read Delightful Deputation (Part 1) The Focus, click HERE to read it.

Maybe your definition of deputation is this: That time period when a missionary family's home is a cramped hybrid of a minivan and a hotel room until they get a real home again on the field.

I must admit, five people living in a tiny hotel room with two double beds (on a good day) and one tiny bathroom isn't my favorite living space, but I must challenge you to transform your definition. Not your definition of deputation, but your definition of home.






Tuesday, January 21, 2014

No Bake Oreo Cheesecake



This was a huge hit for my family!!

 I've never attempted to make a cheesecake, so I wasn't sure how it would come out!

What You Will Need:

36 oreo cookies
1/4 cup butter, melted
4 pkgs (8 oz each) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tub (8 oz) Cool Whip Whipped Topping, thawed

Make It:

Chop 15 cookies coarsely. Set aside.

Finely crush remaining cookies; mix with butter. Press onto bottom of 13x9- inch pan. Refrigerate while preparing filling.

Beat cream cheese, sugar and vanilla in large bowl with mixer until blended. Gently stir in cool whip and chopped cookies; spread onto crust.

Refrigerate 4 hours or until firm.

SIDE NOTE: It was easier to combine the cool whip and crushed cookies using my hands to mix. And also to scoop into pan! 


Monday, January 20, 2014

How's Africa? (What Not to Ask a Missionary)

What to Say to Missionary
No, you did NOT just ask me how a whole continent is doing, did you? What do I say?

This is a really tough question to answer. There's so much to say, and the person asking might not really be interested, or is asking just in passing, else they wouldn't have just asked how a whole continent of more than 50 countries is doing. It's like saying, not just, "How's the USA?", but "How's North America?"

So one day for fun, we, with our teammates, bandied around some fun facetious responses to our favorite question so that next time, we'd be prepared--not giving a slack-jawed, deer-in-the-headlights look.

Question: "How's Africa?"

Potential Answers:

"Oh, great!"

"Really. hot."

"Fine, how are you?"

"Would you like a long or short answer to that?"

"Do you really want to get into this?"

"Well, Africa is a continent of over 50 countries and a billion people, so I'm not sure where to start."

"One of Africa's countries, Zimbabwe, is one of the poorest countries in the world with a corrupt, crazy dictator who will not give up control. Other countries are Muslim and do not allow evangelism. So I guess if you count them, Africa's not doing so great. Pass the butter, please."

"Similar in a lot of ways to America."

"Bad. But we're trying."

"Filled with churches that love money more than Jesus."

Bonus. (with a kind smile) "How can I possibly answer such a huge question?"

Fellow missionaries, have you gotten this question? What have you said? (or wanted to say) :)

Sunday, January 19, 2014

MK Spirit Week


February 10th - 14th
MK: (abbreviation) noun
"Missionary kid- Playful and fun, sometimes adventurous, sometimes outgoing, sometimes shy. And definitely crazy! Crazy for Christ!"
If this definition fits you, then join us for MK Spirit Week!  Do you have an MK spirit? Are you Crazy for Christ? Time to have some fun!
(Parents: Take pictures each day and email them to us, or if you have a blog you can link up your posts each day to our blog.  Be sure to tell us what country it is where your family serves and lives.)
Monday: Crazy Mustache Day
Put those razors away and show off that facial hair!
(Don't have any facial hair? That's OK! Me either!
Pull out the felt/yarn/makeup/markers. We won't tell!)


Tuesday: Crazy Hair/Hat Day
It's a hairspray addict's dream!
Fix it high. Fix it wide. Twist and turn it on each side.
Or does your country have a fun traditional hat? Wear it instead.
No crazy hats where you are? That's OK! Make your own!
The crazier, the better!
Wednesday: Crazy Clothes Day
Pull out your wackiest, tackiest outfit!
Stripes and polka dots!
Ties and t-shirts!
We don't care what it is as long
as it is as crazy and fun as you are!
(OK, maybe we care a little... no bikinis or immodesty, please.)
Thursday: Crazy for Christ Missionaries Day
Dress up as your favorite Crazy for Christ missionary,
past or present! Let us know who you dress up as.
Friday: Crazy Holiday
We know it is Valentine's Day,
but don't you ever feel sorry for those holidays
that never get recognition? Did you know February 14th
is also National Ferris Wheel Day in America?
Or what about National Sponge Cake Day (August 23rd)?
Or maybe your country has an interesting holiday.
Pick a crazy, unique holiday and get dressed up!
Be sure to wish us a happy __________ Day!
Send pictures to thewoons@yahoo.com .
Any questions? Send them to the same address above.
Don't forget! We are on Facebook!


Let us know if your family plans on participating by leaving a comment. Feel free to spread the word to your MK friends. See you February 10th - 14th!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Furlough Findings

written by Laura Consford

Well, it has been quite a while since you heard from me. Our departure from Africa went a little differently than we had planned.  Instead of the whole family leaving on Christmas Day, I left a few days earlier with Emily Aaron and their new baby Elise. Elise was born on December 15, 2013. A couple days after she was born, it was evident that she would need to return to the United States immediately for a surgery to correct a bowel problem. Because it was so close to Christmas, it was not possible to get a seat for their whole family on the airplane. There were only two seats available. I was able to change my ticket to fly back with Emily and Elise. This left our husbands and seven children in Ghana. They were able to take the flight on Christmas Day. For five days, the men were chief cooks and bottle washers. My husband said that with two men and seven children, basically all they did was eat and wash dishes. They came to the conclusion that being Mom is a lot of work!
Everyone made it back to the U.S. safely. Elise had surgery and is doing well.
It has been interesting to listen to the things that our children have noticed that are different here than they are in Ghana. Bonnie was two when we went back to Africa; so, she did not remember much about America. 
Danny was telling Bonnie all about the drinking fountain one day before we left Africa. He said, “Bonnie, at our church, there is a machine; you just push a button, and water comes out! You can drink it right out of that machine!” Danny was sure to point it out to her as soon as we got to church. The boys were helping her and showing her how it worked. That night when we got to church, Bonnie decided to use the drinking fountain all by herself. When she came to sit down, the whole front of her dress and coat were wet. When I reached inside her bag to pull her Bible out, it was wet too. I asked her what happened. She said that she had a little trouble with that fountain thing; she decided that maybe she still needed a little help.  
All of our drinking water in Ghana had to be filtered; we never drink water straight from the faucet there. That was an adjustment for Danny. The first couple days, he kept searching for water. He said, “Mom, I am thirsty, but I cannot find any water.” I reminded him that he could drink it right out of the faucet here. He looked at me a little sheepishly and said, “Oh, I forgot about that.”  
As we were driving along one day, Gilbert said, “It’s so clean here!” Bonnie said, “Mom, they don’t have baskets on their heads!” Danny wanted to know where all of the people were who should be walking along the side of the road. Bonnie said, “Mom, there’s no one selling snails on the side of the road either.” There are a lot of street vendors in Ghana. 
Someone asked Bonnie if it was nicer here or in Ghana. Bonnie said, “Well, there are no bumpy roads here!” She thought that summed it all up!
We were preparing to travel from Texas to Oklahoma. Danny asked, “Mom, do they use the same money in Oklahoma as they do in Texas?”
I am sure that this is just the beginning of our “furlough findings”! Until next week, keep your sunny side up!

Friday, January 17, 2014

When You Say, "I Am Praying For You"...

 
 
 
I've been pondering this sentence quite a bit lately, and as I write this, I realize I've thought about this for years.  When I share a burden with a friend and they reply, "I'm praying for you."  I often think, do they really?  Are we really praying for each other, or do we simply hope things work out.   My husband often says,
 
"We often accuse others of what we are guilty of ourselves." 
 
Ouch. 
 
But I do have to wonder, if I am guilty of telling someone I am praying for them, and then don't, how often do people tell me and later forget to pray.  Telling someone you are going to do something, and don't is a lie, plain and simple.
 
Maybe it's just me, and you all are doing fine in this area.  If so, great.  But I know the Lord has been working in my heart lately to pray.  To stop and pray for people. To be more intentional (my word of the year).   Not a quick, "Dear Lord, please be with so and so, Amen."  No, not anymore.  I stop and put focused time on praying for my friends, even people I don't know if someone asks.
 
When someone shares a prayer request on facebook, I will not reply "praying for you" until I have stopped and prayed for them.  Because I know, that when I shut my computer and go on with my day that I will probably forget. 
 
This verse has been a good reminder to me:
 
"Moreover as for me, God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you:
but I will teach you the good and the right way:"  I Samuel 12:23
 
More thoughts on prayer coming soon.
 
Do you have a prayer request that I can pray for?  Please leave a comment or email, and I promise I will pray for you.

 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Delightful Deputation (Part 1)


dep·u·ta·tion
ˌdepyəˈtāSHən
noun
a group of people appointed to undertake a mission or take part in a formal process on behalf of a larger group.



That's the formal definition. But what is your definition? No, not the textbook answer. What do you really think of deputation?

Monday, January 13, 2014

Good Questions to Ask Missionaries

What to Say to Missionary 

"How's Africa??"

No, you did NOT just ask me how a whole continent is doing, did you?

I can almost hear the wheels turning as my fellow patriot from across the ocean scrambles to reach out to me--this person that they think they remember her name--or at least her country of service, actually uh, continent, rather.

So if it is your lot to have the missionary over for dinner, here's a little primer, a (free!) printable full of welcome questions guaranteed to keep conversation goin' for the duration of your visit.

Questions about personal life
  1. Lifestyle: How is your life similar to life in America? And conversely, just in case your missionaries are shy: How is it different?
  2. Occupation: What do you do each day? (Try not to over-emphasize the word "do.")
  3. Language: Are you learning a language? How is it going? Are you discouraged? Rate your discouragement on a scale from 1 to 10. (Just kidding--leave off the scale remark.)
  4. Sins: What sins might a missionary be especially tempted with that another Christian in the U.S. might not? This is a great question, but may need to wait until you have established a more open, friendly tenor to the visit. You know, like, don't open with this question, and a response, "Well, if you're not sure, I could help you with that."
  5. Devotion: How have you been spiritually? How has Christ become more precious to you? What verses or Scriptural ideas keep you persevering in ministry?
  6. Reading: What books have you been reading? Do you have any book recommendations?
  7. Friendships: Who are your closest friends? Do you have any close friends among the Africans?
Questions about ministry
  1. Success: Have you had any encouragement in ministry recently? Can you tell me two or three things that have encouraged you?
  2. Challenges: What is your greatest challenge in ministry? What other difficulties wear you down?
  3. Church: What do your church services look like? How are they like ours? How are they different? How is your church managing when you are not there? Will your church ever stand on its own? (Try not to emphasize "ever.")
  4. College: (If they have a college) How is the college going? How many students do you have? What is the course like? Have any men graduated? Are they in ministry?
Conclusion
  • How can I pray for you?

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Ten Thousand Miles to Salvation

Our first convert on the field was not who we expected it to be. Maybe a neighbor or our gardener... Yes, I could have pictured that. But it turned out to be a little closer to home.

I'll just let him tell the story:

Monday, January 6, 2014

The Bride-Price

One of the most-viewed posts on my personal blog is my explanation of how a typical African engagement/wedding happens, or at least the ceremony in which the bridegroom pays for his bride.

The daughter of a local pastor was “lovoriwa” last year about this time, and we were invited to the party. Our ministry began with this pastor, surname Ngomane, learning Xitsonga and preaching in his church to practice that Tsonga, before we started a church another village in 2007. Through the years we have maintained a relationship between our church and theirs; so we were excited that he thought of inviting us to this familial party.

It is a sad commentary on African life and culture that in the nine years we’ve been here, we have attended countless funerals, but this was our first ever “lovola” ceremony to get to see. It was a tiny window into old African culture—the background that still shows itself even in this modern day of cell phones and store-bought cornmeal powder.

We weren’t sure how to dress, but since this is the equivalent of a wedding for many Africans, we dressed in Sunday or almost-Sunday dress. We also weren’t sure what time to go, since there was no official start-time. Ngomane gave us a 2-hour range, so we chose a time and we ended up guessing fairly well, arriving about 30 minutes before the bridegroom’s family. Maybe we’re getting better at reading between the lines and figuring out the unspoken in their culture. :)

Here’s a breakdown of what this cultural practice looks like—from our eyes:
IMG_0487 IMG_0488
Elise--Mashamba Baptist church member; notice the large jar of mayo.
Ngomane's church member; notice the large jar of mayo.
The grandmas all dressed up in their beads and head coverings, sitting together.
The grandmas all dressed up in their beads and head coverings, sitting together.
We arrived at 10:30. Several women were cooking outdoors. Their food preparations were almost complete. Each member of Pastor Ngomane’s family made their way to us in the next half hour and cheerfully greeted us. We sat under the tent, raised especially for the occasion, with several other family members and waited.

IMG_0479
And waited some more.

And more. By now, the kids have been oohed and aahed over, and we’re actually having to come up with “real” conversation. ;) My husband has a great knack for this. I’m so glad I’m married to this guy! He got these gray heads shaking their heads and commiserating about the youth these days—you know, how they change the Tsonga language, and they’re not doing this or that right (like the old days).
IMG_0480

Thankfully I had some paper and pen from the last church service in the diaper bag, as well as some cars. The cars kept the kids busy for the next few hours. I tried not to think about the chicken doo mixed in the sand they were driving the cars through. I have ceased to worry about their clothes getting dirty. (Notice the perfect color of Callie’s jumper—brown.)
Kids' only toys--paper, pen, and cars.
Kids' only toys--paper, pen, and cars.


Things perked up when a full taxi (15-passenger van) arrived. The guests filed in, singing, “We are coming into the Ngomane’s,” wearing matching shirts saying, “Kubayi Ngomane Clan.” Shortly thereafter, Seth was called to sit in on the DISCUSSION over the bride-price.
Singing They Come
Singing They Come
Several Ngomane family members filled a cleared-out bedroom, and Seth (my husband) was the drop of milk mixed in a sea of chocolate. Since neither Seth nor I knew exactly what he’d been called away for, I did not see him for the next two hours, which turned out to be a very taxing time period for a missionary mom with 4 kids 5 years old and under.

Of course, the bride's parents are there (not the bride herself—she sat outside, happy and nervous, the entire time), along with Pastor Ngomane's father, mother, and several of the aunts and uncles, men and women sitting together with their respective genders. The bridegroom’s family, surname Rihlampfu, filled out the sitting room.
Sweet Tintswalo (left), happy and nervous
Sweet bride (left), happy and nervous
Ngomane clan in their room
Ngomane clan in their room
Two messengers were sent from the Rihlampfu family to the Ngomane’s with R4,100 (currency here). Seth stands up to give them his chair, but is quickly motioned down by the Ngomane’s and threatened with a fine if he does that again. (He didn’t know that they really do fine for bad behavior! But I’m sure they were kindly teasing him in this case—though serious that there was an image they’re trying to hold up, and Seth wasn’t helping it!)

They copiously lay the money out on the floor for all to see. The Ngomane family starts to warm up. But when they see what is offered, they respond, “What did you come here to do? Give us some kind of offer that will open our mouths. Give us a reason to talk. These cows can’t get the whole job done.” (You can guess—cows were the method of payment in the past.)

The messengers are sent back with a messenger from the Ngomane’s to relay this comment. The Rihlampfu clan returns with R5,000 following the same display ceremony as previously. Some uncles are chiming in now. “When you have cows, you send them here, you send them there to plow. They work for you. What is this? This gets no work done, this is hardly anything.”

Pastor Ngomane's family wanted hard liquor, snuff, and cigarettes as part of their payment. Pastor N. had warned Seth in the beginning that his relatives loved drinking. Rihlampfu comes back, carrying two cases of cold drink (pop). Since both the bride and her young man are Christians, I’m glad to see the way the request for liquor was handled.

The groom’s family comes back a few more times offering a new suit of clothes for the father and some money to buy a blanket for the mother. But the Ngomane family scoffs at this: “That’s not even half what you need to buy a blanket. She loses her daughter, and you can’t even buy her a blanket to keep warm?”

More money is brought in. Pastor N’s father: “Go. Go back home.” He now starts to reference the money he was hoping for—R50,000. Some more rhetoric: “We raised her. We fed her, we paid for her. Now you want to come and take her for nothing.” Ngomane relays this message to Rihlampfu. More money is brought in. Now it’s trickling in in the form of smaller bills and coins, no more large denominations. Rihlampfu is trying to communicate that they are running out. Total is up to almost R25,000.

Pastor N’s father is unhappy, clearly stating now that they must reach R50,000. Rihlampfu brings back the message, “Please we ask for mercy. We have no more. Please we ask for water (ease).” The Ngomane’s take a hard stance; but the bride’s parents intervene. Pastor N.:  “Look, we don’t want to hurt these people. Drop the price to R30,000, and let them owe us that small amount. I’m happy. Look at the suit, the cold drink, all the money. I’m fine with this.” Pastor N's wife adds, “I’m happy; I don’t want to hurt these people. This is enough.” She’s told in no uncertain terms by the patriarch of the family (Pastor's father) that she has no say as a woman in the house. She’s not cowed and continues to calmly state that she doesn’t want anymore.
Pastor Godfrey (left)
Pastor Ngomane (left)
Martha, Tintswalo's mother, on left.
The bride's mother, on left.
Charity is one thing; bad manners are another. Ngomane decides that Rihlampfu must be fined R200 each for eight cultural misdemeanors that day. For one, when they all arrived, the groom’s family didn’t greet the bride’s family in the proper manner. Another—they hooted their horns on arrival, signaling that they had “already won the game before they’d even played.” Also the young men in their party did not take off their hats.
Rihlampfu messenger lays out the money.
Rihlampfu messenger lays out the money.
Is it enough? Ngomane clan counts.
Is it enough? Ngomane clan counts.
Rihlampfu returns with thanks for the R20,000 discount, and then displays a stack of bills to cover the last R5,000 or so. The Ngomane’s had added up exactly what Rihlampfu’s owe them. Pastor N. reminds them to add in the costs of the suit and cold drink in the payment amount. Calculators are pulled out. Seth, having kept a total in his mind throughout the process, announces the number, receiving a wide-eyed look. A family member checks his math on the calculator and announces that Seth was right. Pastor’s father, surprised, says, “White people!”

The final amount settled for the bride price is R30,000 (@$4,400, depending on the exchange rate). The families are moderately pleased with the exchange, and you hear a specifically Tsonga cheer all the way outdoors, signaling that the two will get married.

Seth was asked if he had to pay lovola for his wife? “No,” he responded, “people gave me gifts at our wedding.” ;) They rejoin, “No, but you had to get her a ring.” His answer: “Yes, but she gets to keep that!” They agreed that he should therefore be living with his in-laws because they are the ones who paid (meaning he can’t take care of his wife himself). Seth ended with, “Yeah, white people are nuts.” He was cheered by all in attendance.

A very tired mama and kids went home with Daddy right after this point, so I don’t know how they ended the party. Perhaps there were a couple of speeches and songs, but if nothing else, there was feasting and music with a DJ to run the computers and 4-foot high speakers. I admit that I had hoped to see more for myself, but instead had a discouraging couple of hours trying to handle the children in that scenario. I’m sure missionary mommy moments like these will only get easier when my kids are older. They have to!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Learning from Kissing . . . and the Bible

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/proimos/6883580230/

Different cultures. Different customs.

Our daughter, about nine years old at the time, was visiting in a friend’s home in a neighboring country. A large group was seated around the table for a meal when a visitor stopped by. The visiting man started greeting with kisses to the cheeks everyone around the table, male and female. When he got to our daughter, she . . . disappeared under the table! The poor man was left standing there with a bewildered expression on his face.

A preacher was preaching a series of meetings in Eastern Europe. He was greeted by so many unshaven men that he felt like his cheeks were bleeding!

A missionary friend confesses he used to try to sneak away from any man coming his way. He now proclaims, “I kiss everyone!”

How I remember those first invasions of personal space! We came to Spain as young adults. (I’m from a hugging family, but this . . . .) One of my Spanish friends—a young woman—hooked her arm into mine and pressed her whole side into me as we walked down the street. I couldn’t get away! In Spain, people greet with kisses on both cheeks. (The farther south you go, the more kisses you get.) Where we live, basically it’s between women or when a young person greets an older woman. It depends, and we basically go with the flow.

The Bible says, Greet one another with an holy kiss. (It looks like the Apostle Paul was a kisser, too! Rom. 16:16; 1 Cor. 16:20; 2 Cor. 13:12; 1 Thess. 5:26)

Whether or not kissing is the way you greet people in your country is beside the point. But I’d be willing to bet—not with money, mind you—you’ve sometimes felt “invaded.”

Maybe it’s:
  • lack of privacy
  • being on call every hour of every day
  • unannounced visitors—especially at mealtimes
  • reptile, insect, and other uninvited animal visitors in your home
  • filth (dirt and germs, customs, immorality)
  • safety concerns
  • open idolatry, demonic activity, pagan customs
  • total unbelief in God, the Bible, even Christian traditions—a total disrespect for religion in any form
  • persecution

Just as kissed greetings are an invasion of our “personal space,” so some native customs are an invasion into what we know is right. Many are just plain opposite God’s norms.

It’s so easy to view all the culture as sinful. We can see all the people’s habits as wrong. We may look around us and find no good, no positive, no redeemable anything. This missionary philosophy will lead us to this conclusion: the people are without hope.

So, what can we do?

Get a biblical mindset. Philippians 4:8 can be transformational on the mission field. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. We’re to think about and look for the good things!

What’s positive about your adopted culture? Can you find something nice about their clothing, food, frugality, music, cleanliness, agricultural methods, friendliness, architecture, livestock . . . anything? Surely, there’s something positive!

When you think about the good things—whatever they may be—your whole attitude improves. Your heart begins to praise God for the true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good, and virtuous things in your adopted culture. Even if it’s a totally pagan culture—the reason you went in the first place—there is something to be praised in it. You don’t have to compromise your beliefs in Bible Christianity to compliment your neighbors on a fruit tree or beautiful flowers! You’re not looking down your nose at people when they’re teaching you how to milk goats, plant maize, or make their special stew. (You actually get closer to your people when you ask them how they do something.)

You have the Words of Life—the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ!

And they have their own culture.

Oh yes, almost any culture has its bad points. (If you’re honest, America’s culture isn’t 100% pristine either.) Where customs disagree with the Bible, they need to be changed. This happens as Christians begin living more like Christ.

You can actually see that change. Places that didn’t have the gospel fifty years ago have been transformed by the influence of the Bible. People who used to go around naked now wear clothes. Permissive lifestyles have given way to solid marriages. Churches are ordaining native pastors. Second generation Christians live clean, exemplary lives.

If you don’t look for the good in your adopted home, you may become prideful. You might be teaching your kids that your family is “good” and everyone around them is sinful. Neither you nor your children make friends, and you deaden your ministry. You become haughty. And you end up useless to God.

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross (Philippians 2:5-8).

The mind of Jesus. The servant’s heart.

Let this mind be in you . . . .

Share the Good News. Jesus saves!

Greet the brethren with a holy kiss.


photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/proimos/6883580230/">Alex E. Proimos</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>