I was one of those kids who always wanted to be a missionary. Always. As long as I can remember. Even my mom says that as soon as I could talk, I started talking about being a missionary. Something about mission work fascinated me, long before I knew Christ personally. Of course, I read all the stories of missionaries like Isobel Kuhn, David Brainard, Amy Carmichael, and my favorite, Bruce Olson. I dreamed (literally!) of foreign lands, jungles, native people groups, and even other languages. I wanted to work with orphans, start an orphanage, and teach the children how to become productive members of their homeland (as opposed to just housing them until they are too old and then their children end up back in the orphanage).
From forever it seems, my call was to the orphans of Mexico; though my yearly mission trips from age 15 on took me to many different places, thanks to my parents' wisdom. I did go to Mexico- twice! There's a little girl there, well, probably older now, whom I will never forget. Yet God closed that door. I was so distraught, not knowing what to do. At 24 years of age, I was supposed to have my life planned out and on track, right? My mom is a very wise woman and told me that God probably had something else in mind, and if I just kept doing what I knew He would be pleased with, He would show me the next step. And so it was. Six months later or so, I met my would-be husband, who was support-raising to go to Georgia, Europe.
What??? I'd never even heard of that place! The amount of information on the internet is minimal too. I know; I looked it up and researched as much as possible when I first met Michael. It's not a 3rd world country. Not anymore. In fact, living in the capital city of Tbilisi is much like living in a modern city in America. There are few sacrifices that I had to make. The culture is only a little strange. The language; beautiful and challenging. The people, friendly; though very staunchly religious.
The mission field sure looked different than I thought.
Lately, God has been reminding me of this truth again and again as I struggle with first-term issues:THIS IS MY CALLING.
Instead of natives, I am reaching civilized Westernized people. Instead of orphans, it is neighborhood kids with absolutely no manners or training. Instead of jungles, it's a never ending sea of people and buildings. Instead of quickly absorbing the language, I'm stuck diving deep into textbooks: still feeling quite drowned into our second year.
I sometimes have to remind myself that I had always wanted to be a missionary, and that this is where God has sent me; my God and His plan has not changed. I can't speak the language (sufficiently). I'm not teaching Sunday school. I'm not playing music in church. We don't even have a "regular" church!!! We learn from several different local churches, led by national pastors, because we want to see how to "make church work" i.e. get it set up and running, in this culture. I'm not out of the house much, so I get little contact with the locals. I'm sending my oldest son to pre-school this fall, so I'm not even homeschooling. I'm not doing anything, really, that I would consider missionary/ministry work.
So, maybe I romanticized the foreign field a little? Or, maybe the mission field just looks different than we tend to see on church power point presentations? One thing I know: this is where God has called both me and my husband, and He has been preparing me since childhood. My children are my mission field. My language textbook is my ministry. My God is still the same God. My calling- yes, still the same. It just looks different than I thought.
So what is my ministry? My ministry is staying refreshed in God's Word, supporting my husband, loving my children, keeping house, and spending HOURS in language. I get bored learning language, I do it so much! Thankfully, God gave me a young lady to disciple whose first language is English, like me, which gives me some sense of "doing something." In the next article I write, I want to share what else God has allowed me to do so I don't go crazy not doing the ministry things that I've done my whole life. Regardless though, fellow missionary; whether your ministry looks conventional or not, whether you feel like a "real" missionary or not, please remember:
Remember God. Remember His calling. Know that you are right where He wants you. Don't give up, for "in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." -Galatians 6:9
From forever it seems, my call was to the orphans of Mexico; though my yearly mission trips from age 15 on took me to many different places, thanks to my parents' wisdom. I did go to Mexico- twice! There's a little girl there, well, probably older now, whom I will never forget. Yet God closed that door. I was so distraught, not knowing what to do. At 24 years of age, I was supposed to have my life planned out and on track, right? My mom is a very wise woman and told me that God probably had something else in mind, and if I just kept doing what I knew He would be pleased with, He would show me the next step. And so it was. Six months later or so, I met my would-be husband, who was support-raising to go to Georgia, Europe.
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| Jude, Barbara, Zachary, & Michael |
What??? I'd never even heard of that place! The amount of information on the internet is minimal too. I know; I looked it up and researched as much as possible when I first met Michael. It's not a 3rd world country. Not anymore. In fact, living in the capital city of Tbilisi is much like living in a modern city in America. There are few sacrifices that I had to make. The culture is only a little strange. The language; beautiful and challenging. The people, friendly; though very staunchly religious.
The mission field sure looked different than I thought.
Lately, God has been reminding me of this truth again and again as I struggle with first-term issues:THIS IS MY CALLING.
Instead of natives, I am reaching civilized Westernized people. Instead of orphans, it is neighborhood kids with absolutely no manners or training. Instead of jungles, it's a never ending sea of people and buildings. Instead of quickly absorbing the language, I'm stuck diving deep into textbooks: still feeling quite drowned into our second year.
I sometimes have to remind myself that I had always wanted to be a missionary, and that this is where God has sent me; my God and His plan has not changed. I can't speak the language (sufficiently). I'm not teaching Sunday school. I'm not playing music in church. We don't even have a "regular" church!!! We learn from several different local churches, led by national pastors, because we want to see how to "make church work" i.e. get it set up and running, in this culture. I'm not out of the house much, so I get little contact with the locals. I'm sending my oldest son to pre-school this fall, so I'm not even homeschooling. I'm not doing anything, really, that I would consider missionary/ministry work.
So, maybe I romanticized the foreign field a little? Or, maybe the mission field just looks different than we tend to see on church power point presentations? One thing I know: this is where God has called both me and my husband, and He has been preparing me since childhood. My children are my mission field. My language textbook is my ministry. My God is still the same God. My calling- yes, still the same. It just looks different than I thought.
So what is my ministry? My ministry is staying refreshed in God's Word, supporting my husband, loving my children, keeping house, and spending HOURS in language. I get bored learning language, I do it so much! Thankfully, God gave me a young lady to disciple whose first language is English, like me, which gives me some sense of "doing something." In the next article I write, I want to share what else God has allowed me to do so I don't go crazy not doing the ministry things that I've done my whole life. Regardless though, fellow missionary; whether your ministry looks conventional or not, whether you feel like a "real" missionary or not, please remember:
Remember God. Remember His calling. Know that you are right where He wants you. Don't give up, for "in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." -Galatians 6:9
Thanks for sharing your heart. I think it will be an encouragement to others who are also called to a mission field that doesn't resemble their childhood dreams. You are a blessing there to your husband and children and all those you come across. God bless ♥
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