Setting Precedents

Probably forty years ago now, our coworkers invited some of the young men from church for Sunday dinner. The guys gladly accepted—for that week and every week afterwards. The teens were their son's friends, so it was okay, but it was a wake-up call about setting precedents. Sometimes, what you do once becomes community custom, especially in ministry.

Let me list a few examples. I'm sure you'll think of more.

• Sending flowers—for hospitals, funerals, etc.
• Inviting for meals
• Saying, "Stop by whenever you like."
• Planning parties for birthdays
• Establishing a custom in the church (socials, meals, showers, etc.)
• Giving gifts on special days (Mother's and Father's Days, Easter, etc.)
• Honoring children or adults for accomplishments (certificates, prizes, etc.)
• Beginning a new ministry (VBS, children's clubs, women's meetings, etc.)

It's best to think and pray before you begin something. (Always!!! If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5) Think:

• Is this a good thing for everyone concerned?
• Is this something that we'll explain is just for now?
• Is this a custom we always want to continue—and that people will come to expect?
• If I have money to do this one year, will I maybe not be able to do again it the next year? (And, if I can't the next year, will people be disappointed or offended?)
• Do I want to establish this (whatever it is) as a precedent?
• And, perhaps most important: is this something that furthers God's plan? Is it God's will? Will it open doors? Will it encourage people?

Ministries ebb and flow. In our own church, we've tried all different things at different times, for example:

• For a while, we had breakfast in the morning before the service. (It kept two of our people from verbal battles, since they enjoyed eating more than fighting. Hey, if it works!) After a while, we didn't have the problem any more and our congregation had changed, so we discontinued the breakfasts.
• For many years, the church held a supper once a month after the evening service. The women contributed some of the food, and we enjoyed a time of fellowship. But, after years went by and our congregation changed, we didn't have any women besides me to make the food (which I did), and even some of the men didn't stay to eat afterwards. It was no longer a popular thing, so we quit. (Would you believe only one person ever asked why?)
• We used to try to hold special services at Christmas and Easter. We still have a Christmas emphasis near Christmas and Easter messages, but that's when most Spanish people are on vacation from work and can travel. In our church, they're the least attended times of the year besides summer. We have a small congregation, so there aren't enough left to participate in plays or special music, which we used to do.

But:

• We never started—thankfully—throwing birthday parties for every attender. Why? Because, one must not miss anyone, ever—and we don't have many constant, faithful people. So, if we threw the party and the birthday person weren't even attending…. You can see our dilemma. Plus, I am the only woman in the church who knows how to make a cake. (At this time, there's only one other woman, and she's from a different culture entirely.) Sometimes, when the pastor has a birthday, we take a cake to share with those who are there. They enjoy celebrating with him.
• I sometimes take a simple floral bouquet to someone in the hospital, especially if they're in there for a while. It is a gift from me personally. (In a socialized medical system, people are in and out of hospitals often.) I don't take flowers to our men—not a custom, here—although I might visit along with my husband.
• Our church has in the past sent floral tributes in honor of friends of the church who've passed away, but we've ceased doing it because of financial hindrances. Instead, we make an effort to attend funeral services or viewings.

Each field is different, but you need to keep precedent in mind before you put something into place in your ministry. You might want to announce (or let the pastor announce) that this is something you want to try this year. In fields where one time means always—watch closely what you do one time. In fields where gifts must be paid back (perhaps with a bigger gift), be cautious what you give. In places where inviting a person of the opposite sex to dinner might be misconstrued, be careful.

Speaking of invitations, this is a true story from many years ago. Missionary friends, who happened to have a young teenage daughter, invited a young man in their church over to eat at their house on Sunday. They had several children, so they didn't think anything about it. They had merely invited a teen to dinner at their home. Lo and behold, the young man's family got extremely excited. In Spanish culture at that time, this was tantamount to announcing betrothal. It took a while to get the whole thing ironed out. The daughter wasn't even dating age yet, but the teen guy's family thought there was an "understanding" without their knowledge. Oh my!

Know your culture. Ask questions and use Google. Know the dos and don'ts, and ask the Lord to guide you in the precedents you establish at home and for your church.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, 

always abounding in the work of the Lord, 

forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

 (1 Corinthians 15:58)

by Lou Ann Keiser, in Basque Spain 34 years