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Friday, October 18, 2019

Flubbs and Faux Pas



Laughter doeth good like a medicine. Learning to laugh at myself has been a big part of my journey of living in a different country and culture. Here are six of my best, worst mistakes.

Hurðir and Hirðir 

One measly vowel separates these two words, yet the meanings are completely different. In Icelandic, hurðir (HER-dtheer) means doorHirðir (HEER-dtheer) means shepherd. The Christmas story changes greatly if you substitute one for the other.

The doors were watching over their sheep by night. The angel came and spoke to them while the glory of the Lord shone all around. An angel army came and shouted praise to God in front of the doors making them very afraid. The angel told them to stop being scared and to go find baby Jesus in Bethlehem. After the angels left, the doors talked to each other and then hurried into Bethlehem. After they had found Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, they went all over the place telling everybody about what they had seen and heard. The people who heard the doors were very amazed, of course.

That was my first attempt at the Christmas story in Icelandic.

"Þú, Þú, Önd!" 

Many children have played some variation of the game, "Duck, Duck, Goose!" It´s a fun game that can be played with different age groups and with minimum explanation. A game that could be explained by acting it out was really important when we first arrived. To my surprise and delight, "Duck, Duck, Goose!" was a big hit. The one snag was that I didn´t know the word for goose. I improvised using the pronoun þú (thoo), which means you, as the children went around the circle tapping heads. I knew the word for duck, which is önd (und). I swapped the duck for the goose and the pronoun for the duck. "You, You, Duck!" is still one of our favorite games in Sunday school.

Björn and Bjór

After teaching the children for several Sundays about the creation week, I had a big review game day for my class in Sunday School. The game got a little rambunctious but fun. My husband came in with his older kids toward the end of the game. In an attempt to show off my amazing teaching skills and the clever learning abilities of my class, I ramped it up a little more. Pride goes before a fall. 

I yelled out an item.  The kids yelled back what day God had made that thing.  Each question added to the excitement. It went something like this:

Me: "What day did God make apples?"

Them: "Day three!"

Me: "What day did God make sharks?"

Them: "Day five!"

Me: "What day did God make stars?"

Them: "Day four!"

This went on for several minutes. To their credit, the kids were getting the answers right. To my horror, I asked the next question.

What I thought I asked was, "What day did God make bears?" Bear is björn (byurdn).

What I actually asked was,  "What day did God make BEER?" Yes, I emphasized the word bjór.

What the kids yelled was, "God made BEER!!" 

Sing-song chants of "God made beer!" sounded for several minutes until I was able to get control of the raucous crowd. 

I have learned to keep review game day a little less showy.

Byrja, Bíða, and Biðja

When you have a children's program with games and snacks, you use the words start, wait, and pray quite a bit. They are byrja (bidya), bíða (beetha), and biðja (bithya). It was probably two years before I could keep these words straight.

When it was time to thank the Lord for our snack, I would say, "Ok, children. Let's bow our heads and wait." When I needed them to wait their turn, I would say, "You need to start." Or when we were going to play a game, it was "On your mark, get set, PRAY!" Okay, just for fun, I still sometimes use that last one.

Pils, Pilsner, and Pylsur

We don´t eat out very often but one evening when we were new to the island, I went to the local drive-through. Icelandic hot dogs made from lamb, are truly delicious. When the lady opened the window, I ordered four hot dogs. Anyway, I thought that I did. 

In faltering Icelandic, I said, "I want four pils with everything." 

With a puzzled expression, she said in broken English, "We don´t sell skirts." Oops.

I tried to correct myself with, "I mean I want four pilsner."

She chuckled and asked, "So you want four pilsner beers?" Um, no. Then she said, "Do you want four hot dogs, pylsur?" 

"Yes," I mumbled, red-faced. 

She went back inside. When she returned, she handed me two cigarette carton boxes out the window. After having embarrassed myself ordering skirts and beers, I just took them. To my surprise, the hotdogs were stacked inside. Two fully-loaded dogs fit perfectly in one carton. I paid and took my cigarette-boxed saugages home.

When I went inside, my husband raised a quizical brow in my direction. "Did you decide to take up smoking?" he asked.

"Look," I snarked, "Be happy with your tobacco flavored dogs. I almost accidently brought home four beers for you, me, and the kids to have for dinner."

Disclaimer: *We neither smoke nor drink.*

Pear Soda

Because making cute birthday cakes was always a real challenge for me, I tried to compensate with a favorite dinner, snack, and soda. The kids liked to go to the grocery store and pick out their birthday meal. When our oldest was turning six or seven, he chose pear soda. Sodas come in all different flavors here that we don´t have in the States like mixed fruit, grapefruit, or pomegranate. 

At the party with a few little friends from church, I served chips, my ugly cake, and the bubbly pear soda. The kids really liked the drink, and several asked for more. When there was just a little left, I poured some for a mom that was there and myself. She took a sip and looked at me big-eyed. 

"I think this is alcohol!" she said. "Let me read the bottle."

"But they are not allowed to sell alcohol in the grocery store in Iceland," I replied. 

She shrugged and said, "Well, not hard alcohol. They can sell it like this, though, when it is just a little bit."

Sure enough, those pear flavored bubbles had the tiniest bit of, ahem, zip to them.  Oops.

Disclaimer again, *We don't drink.*

The Calendar

This is the first time that I laughed out loud at myself, a lot, for a long time.

When the kids were younger, there were only a few times that I was able to go somewhere by myself. We shared a car, hubby was in the university learning the language all day, ministry consumed any spare time, etc. On one rare occasion, though, after having lived here for a few years, I got to go to Reykjavik, the capitol by myself to Christmas shop. I was free as a bird, happy as a lark, and living large as I pushed my cart through the mall.

I happened upon a safety display.  There were rescue workers showing children their fire suits and oxygen tanks. They showed them the purpose for the big red axes and the fire extinguishers. The way they were explaining things to the children really impressed me. Since it was nearing the New Year, I decided to purchase one of the calendars. I always keep an Icelandic and an American calendar to keep all of the different holidays straight.

When I purchased the calendar, the gentleman asked me the strangest question.

"Is this for you or for a friend?" he asked.

Confused, I replied, "For me."

He then waggled his eyebrows at me, winked, and asked, "Do you want me to autograph it?"

I thought, "What!? No, your fresh, flirty fireman!" but I just said, "No thanks."

Flustered, I walked away and tossed the calendar into my cart where it landed with the back side up. On the back were miniatures of the picture for each month. Twelve fireman had posed for this calendar. Yes, the Baptist preacher's wife had just bought one of THOSE calendars.

I guffawed at myself. On the way home, I called my husband to share my latest misadventure. He laughed with me, of course.

Disclaimer *I didn't keep it.*

Life is a mix of up and down, good and bad, easy and hard. We all make mistakes. Own them. Laugh about them when possible. Like the Bible says, it's good medicine.

Patrick and Vicki Weimer, in Iceland since 1999





Thursday, October 17, 2019

Do you ever have grumpy days? Days when you just don't feel like yourself and everything people do or say or need annoys you?

Me neither.

But let's pretend for a moment that we have.

Let's suppose the other day I was tired from not sleeping well and had a day full of appointments where my family needed me. Like not just to physically drive them/be there, but actually make decisions, and give informed consent, and interpret and help communicate. I had a tiny window of time before the next appointment and decided to lay down for a moment.

While I lay there I was thinking about how I wished I had slept better, that my kids could drive independently, that my husband didn't need me to interpret, that I didn't have to clean the kitchen or then turn around and cook dinner, either.

Some rest, right? If only, if only, if only...

When I got up for the next appointment (with quite a huff I might add), I saw these bracelets on my dresser and immediately felt the reproof.

Love people. Serve others.

You see, my family is people. My family is others. Sometimes I forget that. I don't always love and serve them the way I ought to. Yes, sometimes life is demanding. Sometimes I am tired. Sometimes I *just don't feel like it*.

However, "The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances."  -Elizabeth Elliot

Colossians 1:27 says Christ in me is the hope of glory. Am I living in the strength of Christ? Am I letting Him be my hope of glory, even when I *just don't feel like it*? Is He reflected in my words, attitudes, and actions?

Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another;

Galatians 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Pumpkin Butter (or squash)

Pumpkin Butter (or squash)
I LOVE pumpkin butter! The smooth, sweet, spiciness just screams fall! I decided today as I whipped up a batch of this golden deliciousness that I need to make this whenever I have pumpkin/squash around the house! When I did some research online, I noticed that a lot of recipes called for apple juice….not an option for us. Apple juice is crazy expensive, and I didn’t feel like buying a whole liter of juice just for a few cups of pumpkin butter. After doing some digging and research, I came up with this lovely treat. I couldn’t stop eating it by the spoonful!  My favorite way to have pumpkin butter is on pancakes or dinner rolls, but it’s also amazing on ice cream, waffles, biscuits, tarts, homemade sourdough bread, really anything would work! I feel like breads are just the vehicle for this amazing condiment! (Personally I feel like it should be a staple!) 



I didn’t have canned pumpkin, but if you do, you can use that. I just peeled and steamed the pumpkin I have and use that. Before I combined all of my ingredients, I just used a potato masher and mashed the pumpkin until it was smooth.  It works fantastically! I’ve honestly never used canned pumpkin for anything… so I don’t know if it would make this the same… but try it if that’s what you have, and let me know how you like it! 
In a medium saucepan combine all of your ingredients, and stir until well combined. Cook on med-low heat until the pumpkin butter starts to caramelize (brown). I did a double batch, and it took about 5 minutes to caramelize. You can serve warm or cold. I like it warm better, but it depends on what you’re serving your pumpkin butter with. Put pumpkin butter in a jar, and store in the fridge. Ours never last longer than a week (there are also nine of us in the house right now…) so I don’t know how long this will keep. I’m sure longer than a week, maybe two? Once again, I’m not sure, so let me know if you find out. You can always freeze it in zip top bags, just keep in mind it will probably loose its smoothness, but still taste great! 
I’m also attaching the pumpkin pie spice recipe to this post. I posted it a couple of weeks ago. 

Enjoy! 
Amber Wells 
Papua New Guinea 
🇵🇬

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Pumpkin Spice Latte


Pumpkin Spice Latte, the most talked about drink in the USA! So many have already been featured in my friends' Facebook or Instagram posts and it’s barely October! 

If you happen to be a PSL lover but don’t have access to a Starbucks, never fear, you can make your own at home. 

*Small disclaimer, it won’t taste exactly the same because a real latte is made with espresso and flavored syrups, and this one is made with coffee, real pumpkin and spices. I wanted something that is accessible to more people, without fancy equipment or ingredients. 



This recipe is easily adaptable! Can’t have dairy? Use almond milk or coconut milk. Can’t have sugar, or want a healthier option? Use any sweetener you like! Maple syrup, honey, agave, Splenda, stevia, etc. (you will just need to scale down the amount if you are using an artificial sweetener). 

if you don’t have “real” pumpkin, that’s ok too! The pumpkin we have in PNG is kinda like a cross between an acorn squash and a butternut squash. Add enough pumpkin pie spice and you’ll never know the difference 😆


Feel free to adjust the amount of coffee to milk as well. I prefer half coffee and half milk, but many of my test subjects requested more coffee flavor. So if you actually like the taste of coffee, and not just the pumpkin spice 😉 just make stronger coffee or add more coffee to your cup.

-Kayleigh Dye

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Learning From the Past

When I was in college, I was pretty confident in myself. I had plans for my future, knew what I wanted, and wasn't really open to suggestions or advice. This did not always work out well for me.

One winter I was late going to my freshman studies class, and a friend advised me not to cut through the grass because it was a mud slick underneath. I thanked her and rushed on, fully intending to cut through the grass anyway.

As I started down the snowy hill, I realized too late how right my friend had been. It was pure mud from the recent thaw. My feet slipped out from under me and down I went.

Not only did I have to sit through class covered in mud all up my back and through my hair, I also had to go to the clinic afterward because of a headache. Turns out I gave myself whiplash and a concussion! I missed classes and inconvenienced my roommate- she became my guardian in the night to wake me and check my eyes, etc.

This morning I went for a walk. It has been rainy the last few days here in Ohio, and I walked a different side of the street this morning. There is a house that's new construction, and the yard is basically a mud pit. This has spread over the sidewalk.

As I approached the sidewalk there, I thought about my experience in college, and that I should probably walk around the mud. But I came upon it so quickly that I didn't have a lot of time to change my course. So I plowed on ahead.

And I slipped sideways. And screamed.

But thank the Lord I didn't fall! However, I did wrench my back. And the neighbor on the other side of the trees was laughing at me when I finally got myself together to keep walking. I sheepishly said "I slipped" as I continued on my way.

You'd think I'd learn from my past. That when faced with a similar situation that I would turn and go another way when I know last time it resulted in disaster. But I am stubborn sometimes, and too confident in myself. And it never ends well.

Lord help me learn from my mistakes, and listen to Godly counsel so I don't end up covered in mud and hurt.

Proverbs 14:16 "A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident."

Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction."

Proverbs 14:26 "In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.”

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Pumpkin Pie Spice 🥧

Pumpkin Pie Spice 
🥧
Tis the season of pumpkin pie spice! Fall is my favorite season! Not just because of the food, haha, but the colors and weather are amazing! I'm sure a lot of you ladies live in countries where fall is non existent, or Pumpkin Pie Spice isn't a thing (PNG is one of those countries). 
But, just because your country doesn't sell this amazing spice blend, it doesn't mean you have to suffer! PPS is super easy to make and I like the homemade blend much more than the pre-mixed blend from the store. 

Combine spices in a small bowl or jar. Mix well - you dont want clumps of ground ginger in whatever you're making. This makes one tablespoon of PPS. 
Use as your fall recipes say. 😊 



As I was mixing up this batch of Pumpkin Pie Spice, I started thinking about coffee....and making a PPS Coffee Creamer....and this was my creation.  My mom loves it! I love it! And, our visitor from the States (who happens to be a barista) loves it! So I hope you love it! 



Amber Wells
Papua