Calm My Anxious Heart ~ Book Review

Calm My Anxious Heart

(A book review by Kim Melton)

The book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow is a must read.  I do not consider myself to be a book reviewer.  In fact, I can’t remember the last time I wrote a book review.  After reading this book, I feel compelled to recommend it to you. 

I picked up this book because of the title.  What woman doesn’t need to have her anxious heart calmed?  As I began to read, I realized that it had to deal with another issue that I never would have associated with anxiety:  contentment. 

Linda deals with topics such as being content with your circumstances, who you are, your role, and your relationships to name a few.   She points us to the only One who can meet those needs and satisfy our longings.  She draws us in and shows us the One who gives a “peace that passeth all understanding.”

“How does God enable us to be content? He infuses contentment into us through His Word. As it seeps into our minds, it transforms us. Just as a cup of tea gets stronger when we give it time to steep, so we become more content when we spend time in God’s Word and allow it to seep into our lives, transforming us to be like Him.”*  

While all of this is good, there is one element of the book that made me keep turning the pages.  Linda was a missionary wife.  Almost every single illustration in the book is from the perspective of being a missionary.  She served in Hong Kong and Romania. 

She suffered longing, pain, anxiety and fear just like you and me.  She had times when she felt like her family in the USA needed her, but she was so very far away.  She faced the fear of not knowing what might be lurking around the corner as she served in a country where many believers were jailed for what she was doing.  She endured loneliness.  She saw the Lord answer the same prayer for a missionary family one way and for her family in another, perhaps less desirable, way.   She understands our heart, dear missionary lady. 

A study guide accompanies this book to help you spend more time meditating on the truths in each chapter.  At the end, she closes with a personal letter.  I’d like to close this “review” with a paragraph from that letter. 

“When we’ve given all our questions to God, when we’re not grumbling about the past or anxious about the future, when our tomorrows are in His keeping, we are free to wake up every morning and say, ‘God, You’ve given me today as a  gift. Show me how to glorify You in it.’”*

~~~~~

*Dillow, Linda (2007-06-15). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment (TH1NK Reference Collection).  NAVPress - A. Kindle Edition.

Scripture From Around the World - Brazil

Scripture From Around the World - Greece

Posted By: Maureen Sullivant

An update on few changes happening...

Hello!

Thank you for stopping by and reading our blog.  We consider it an honour that you take the time to read our blog.  I do not keep track of our page views or our subscriber numbers, but occasionally I do like to see where all our readers are from, here is a map that pins your rough location when you visit our page (I'm sure this isn't 100% accurate, because it hasn't pinned where I live and a few of you apparently live in the ocean, a houseboat perhaps?!):

Visitors from the past month.

We try to post weekly, but there have been a few weeks without any posts.  The reason is that many of our contributors have been with us for several years and are no longer able to write for us.  With that being said, we have a few new contributors that will be writing weekly or monthly.  In the weeks to come I will share their bios with you so you can get to know the faces behind the blog posts.

If you are a baptist missionary wife and are interested in writing either just a guest post or writing regularly please let me know.  You can either comment below or send us an email - baptistmissionarywomen@hotmail.com.  

Also, we'd love if you would comment below what you'd like to read more of...recipes, ministry updates, a day in the life of, posts from MK's, book reviews, other?  Let us know!

Please subscribe to be notified of our posts or follow us on facebook (click here).

Adjusting to Life on the Mission Field ~ Part 2

For Part 1, click here. 

As I continue to dwell on lessons I’ve learned, there is one I am still learning and that is not to compare myself and my situation with others. 2 Corinthians 10:12 tells me that if I do this, I am not wise! There will be someone who raised support faster, learned the language faster or has a bigger and better house to live in. We prayed for a teacher for our children. God did not see fit to give us one; but yet, I saw Him supply this for another family. Another friend has been on the field less time than I have and she already has the language ability to lead a Bible study. My language study is slow and difficult. At this middle age that I am in, sometimes I feel too old to do it! Someone younger would do a better job! Some missionaries are able to plant a new church every term. In our country of service, it may take the rest of our lives to plant one. We are all different. Every country and language is different. My focus must be on God and His will for me today. I cannot compare myself to others. God has put me where He wants me to be and has given me what I need to accomplish His will (2 Cor. 9:8, Phil. 2:13). 

I remember well when the “culture shock” started to set in. In the USA, we talk about “bad hair days.” Here, we have “bad culture days.” =) On one of these kind of days, I was reading the fruits of the Spirit in my study Bible and the notes that went with them. I realized as I read, that these fruits manifested in my life will take care of any “culture shock.” Longsuffering is “the willingness to accept irritating or painful situations.” Gentleness is “a humble and gentle attitude that is patiently submissive in every offense, while having no desire for revenge or retribution” (MacArthur Study Bible). When I offend the culture unknowingly, when I am stared at because I am different, when things are done differently than I would do them, when I am mistreated or misunderstood, what fruit do I exhibit? Is it longsuffering and gentleness? The only way I can do this is to be in the Word, walk in the Spirit and have lots of grace from my Lord (2 Cor. 12:9-10). 

In closing, I want to share some practical things that have helped me. 

1. While on deputation, I begged the Lord to give me a verse that would keep me on the field when the going got tough. As we went through the Netcaster program, the Lord began to burn 2 Corinthians 5:15 into my soul, “And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.” My life is not about me, it is about the One Who died for me! 

2. Several years ago, a friend counseled me to fill my mind with good Scriptural music. I play it in the car, on the subway and while in the house. This has helped me countless times when I couldn’t seem to control my thoughts. One time in particular was after a rough day of language school. I put in my earbuds on the subway and started to listen to the cd A Quiet Heart by Soundforth. One of my favorite songs, “I Could Not Do Without Thee” began. When I arrived at my destination, the frustration and turmoil were gone. God met my need through the music. Another favorite cd is Come and Sing by the Stouffer men. This brought me tremendous comfort during the days before and after our departure for Japan. 

3. Keep a journal of what God is teaching you and the blessings He gives. The entries don’t have to be long. A simple “I was so lonely today and God gave me Matthew 28:20” or “I wanted cheddar cheese and God led me to it and it was on sale!” is enough. When the emotions are threatening to drown you, get out the journal and read. It is hard to remember God’s help in the past when you are overwhelmed. Having something to read will help you to remember and encourage your heart. 

4. And last, but certainly not least, read missionary biographies. Others have gone before us and we can learn from them. The circumstances are different, but the struggles are the same. I have been helped greatly by the writings of Isobel Kuhn. She is very candid about her struggles. My two favorite books of hers are In the Arena and Green Leaf in Drought. 

I hope that you will be helped by these things. It has been worth the time for me to reflect on them. I think that we do others a disservice when we hide behind a mask and pretend that everything is o.k. We are human and we will struggle. We can help someone else through the struggle, if we are willing to humble ourselves and be transparent. God knows that we are dust (Ps. 103:14)! How marvelous that He still chooses to use us! 

~originally posted by Kim at Life in the 10/40 Window~ 

Adjusting to Life on the Mission Field ~ Part 1

Several years ago, we sold our first house and bought another on the other side of town. We were so excited. Our family had grown and we needed a 3^rd bedroom. The Lord had answered our prayer abundantly. A few weeks after the move, we were finally settled and I was so lonely. My kids did not change schools, we were attending the same church, I was hanging out with the same friends, but I felt so isolated. I missed my old neighborhood and familiar stores and roads. I told my friend that I did not understand this. She told me the grieving process was settling in. I didn’t quite understand this at the time, but I knew she was right.

When we moved to the field, I experienced this at a new level. Part of grieving is adjusting to a new way of life. It’s sort of like after a funeral. The hubbub of the funeral is over, the family meal is finished and everyone returns to their normal routine, except for the immediate family of the one who died. They have to learn to live day by day without the lost loved one. When you move to the field, the old way of life is over. If you add to that the unfamiliar, it is overwhelming. We have to turn to the God of all comforts (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). He is waiting with open arms. “The Greek word for ‘comfort’ is related to the familiar word paraclete, ‘one who comes along side to help,’…’comfort’ often connotes softness and ease, but that is not its meaning here. Paul was saying that God came to him in the middle of his sufferings and troubles to strengthen him and give him courage and boldness” (MacArthur Study Bible).

When we arrived in Japan, I felt unprepared for the emotions that I would experience. I had no choice about the home we lived in. I was frustrated because I could not communicate. I felt lost driving on the “wrong” side of the road and not being able to read the signs. I didn’t know where to shop. I didn’t know what prices were good. I had no friends and I had to put up a good face for my children who were watching me. It was terribly overwhelming. I remembered what my friend said about grieving and I was helped. It is o.k. to grieve. It is not a sin to feel sadness. It’s even o.k. to cry. The attitude behind it is what can be sinful. Where do we turn when the emotions flare?

Many times, when I have shared my struggles, I was told that “we all have to go through it.” I did not find this comforting. If our comfort comes from the Lord, we have an obligation to share with others what brought us comfort and gave us strength (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). I was determined to find some answers in the Word. When another missionary lady came to me, I wanted to have an answer.

Memorizing God’s Word has had a life-changing affect on me. Find verses that help you and memorize them. If you do this, God will bring them to your mind when you need them most. For example, I had to have a mammogram here. It was not something I looked forward to. I will not go into the whole big, long story. They do things differently here and it was pretty traumatic. I couldn’t talk to the doctors, so my hubby was translating. That was a different stress of its own! As I was lying on the examining table fighting the tears, the Lord brought to my mind 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” I had instant peace and the tears fled. If I had not memorized those verses, they would not have been there when I needed them most!

Several verses have helped me on a regular basis. I meditate on the fact that God is present with me (Psalm 46:1, Jeremiah 23:23-24, Psalm 139:7-10, Matthew 28:20). Others may forget me, but God does not (Isaiah 49:15). When I am overwhelmed, I must go to the Lord. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed, that I can’t remember to do this and then He leads me to Himself (Psalm 61:1, 2). Spurgeon said about these verses that “he who communes with God is always at home.”

Perhaps the most exciting truth to me about God is His faithfulness. He keeps His promises. I have seen this in my life before, but it has been magnified on the field. He strengthens me, helps me and holds me up (Isaiah 41:10). He guides me with His eye (Psalm 32:8). He goes before me. I do not need to be dismayed (Deuteronomy 31:8).

When we moved to the city we are in now, there was no one living here to show us around. When we needed a doctor, God led us. When we needed an eye doctor, God led us. Both of these speak some English! I needed a friend. God went before me and hand-picked one and put her in my path. Then there was the time I needed something at the store and I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t ask the clerk and even if I could, I wouldn’t have understood her answer. After several minutes of searching and mounting frustration, I cried out to the Lord and He led me right to it. I could go on and on…

~ originally posted by Kim at Life in the 10/40 Window ~

Rose-Colored Glasses

Probably the most important item to pack when you go to the mission field—besides your Bible—is a pair of rose-tinted glasses. You’ll need them!

In my years of being a missionary, I’ve been able to see lots of things. Some are very nice, and some are just awful. On any field, you can see a lot of sin. When we gaze at it with regular, clear glasses on, we see its ugliness. We see the sinners, too. We’ll begin to realize that sin is rampant in our country, and that all the people indulge in it. We’ll start to see everything as black—or at best, charcoal gray.

So, we need to put on our rosy glasses. Voilà! All of a sudden, we can see people as the lovely human beings they are. We have compassion on those trapped in sins and we have hope. We see the possibilities. We quit looking at specific sins and start to see souls. We want to share Christ. We become joyful.

On the mission field, because we come from home countries of comfort and Christianity, we have a real problem when we use clear glasses. We need to don our pair of rose-tinted ones—the same color as the heart. We need to see our field and our people as God sees them.

Of course, you understand I’m using glasses metaphorically. They are the lenses through which we perceive the world. It is so important to train ourselves to look for the good on our mission field. Why? Simply because the Lord wants us to think that way. Consider Philippians 4:8. (You’ve probably got it memorized.) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. I think most of us have forgotten this verse from time to time. We start thinking about criticisms (of good report???) and moral deficiencies (pure?? virtue??). We dwell on unfairness (honest?? just??) and on lies people tell (true??). Are we going around looking for the lovely and good? (Hint: become a photographer.) Are we actively seeking something for which to praise God?

Oops! We have those clear glasses on!

In every culture, there are prevalent sins. In Spain, common sins would include: lying, cheating, gluttony, jealousy, drunkenness, rampant porn use, revenge, an unforgiving spirit, holding grudges, arguing, amorality, and disinterest in God. But, that doesn’t mean we throw up our hands and give up. That doesn’t mean there’s no good here. That doesn’t mean the people aren’t lovely and loveable. They are! Some of the real positives in this culture include: friendliness, warmth, loyalty to friends, families that stick together, delicious food, a sense of time and purpose, valuing history, the preservation of architecture, art, and culture. I could go on and on.

Putting on rose-colored glasses helps me look for the good. My glasses help me to dwell on the positives. I begin to direct my thoughts in a more godly way.

When Jesus looked at the multitudes—and at individuals—what did He see? He saw souls. No one, not even lepers, were disgusting to Him. He touched them. He cared. He healed. When he met up with sinners, He offered to meet their needs. Some refused Him. Even His own half-brothers put Him off. But, many believed. I think Jesus looked at people in a very different way than we do. I think we all have a long way to go in learning Christ-like compassion.

Can you imagine the Creator of the universe walking around on the earth he’d made—by speaking it into being? Can you imagine what Jesus thought when He looked up into the stars at night? What went through His mind? He remembered the Great Flood. He was there, orchestrating the whole thing. He remembered Sodom and Gomorrah. He was there, too. He knew everything about every thing. He actually made rocks, hills, animals, and seashells. He planted the plants.

Jesus could read hearts and minds. We only have to read a little part of the Gospels to witness quite a few “How did you know that?” moments—beginning when Jesus was twelve. Indeed—and this is impossible to comprehend—while Jesus was walking on earth and getting His feet dusty and interacting with men, He was also inhabiting every part of the universe.

There’s an interesting verse in 2 Corinthians 10:5, Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. What a concept! We need to get rid of anything in our heads that’s against knowing God. Throw it in the trashcan. We also bring into captivity every single thought so that we’re obeying Christ. When I think of capture, I think of corralling, tying it up, and making it do what I want it to do. That’s what we’re supposed to do with our thoughts! A negative thought or attitude shows up in our mind. What do we do? Tie it up and throw it away. That’s biblical! How do we think right thoughts? We forcibly bring them into conformity with godliness. We make them obey Christ. This is powerful.

What really bugs you on your field? What do you hate? What characteristics of the natives really burn you up? Take those thoughts and throw them away. Ask the Lord to help you bring your thoughts into obedience. Cultivate a Philippians 4:8 mentality. Look for the good and beautiful, and …

 don’t forget to wear your rosy glasses!

God bless you!