Kicking Stuff Under the Dresser

The other day I was not feeling well. I'd had a slight fever the night before, and a lingering headache. Everything I did seemed to take more energy than usual, and I was tired.

As I was doing simple prep for an upcoming ministry night, I dropped a slip of paper on the floor in front of my dresser. I actually stood there for a moment debating whether I was going to bend over and pick it up, or kick it under the dresser.

It was a small piece of paper. The space under the dresser was ample to hide it. No one would know it was there except me, and since I am the one who cleans around here, it wouldn't really matter.

Except my husband walked in while I was debating, and asked if he could pick it up and throw it away for me.

[gulp]

Could he read my mind? Did he see my foot poised to kick it under the dresser? Or did he just innocently offer to serve me, knowing I wasn't feeling good- and now my prior debate was making me feel guilty? I was definitely going to pick it up and throw it away now. And act like that was my plan all along.

Have you ever had a similar thing happen in your spiritual life? You're faced with something that seems like it's not a big deal, and you don't feel like dealing with it, so you debate "kicking it under the dresser". No one else knows it's there. There's plenty of room to hide it. It's your spiritual space, right?

And then someone comes along and asks you about it. Brings your thoughts of glossing it over into the open. And you suddenly feel exposed, though they have no idea what is going on inside your head. So you act like you were planning to deal with that issue all along.

Let me just tell you from experience that it's never a good idea to 'kick it under the dresser', no matter what it is. Because kicking it under the dresser to hide it only works if the dresser will stay there indefinitely.

What happens when you move? All your 'kicking' gets exposed, and everyone sees your bad habit piled up against the wall. All the crumbs, hair, paper...whatever you didn't want to deal with in the moment has become an embarrassing pile of dirt. And now you have to deal with ALL of it at once.

Lord help me not to kick stuff under the dresser that I should be cleaning up. And help me to do it even when no one else is watching me!

Luke 11:39-40
(39) And the Lord said unto him, Now do ye Pharisees make clean the outside of the cup and the platter; but your inward part is full of ravening and wickedness.
(40) Ye fools, did not he that made that which is without make that which is within also?

Matthew 23:28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

Growing in Our Relationship with the Lord

One of the challenges I faced when moving to the field was the lack of accountability and companionship around the Word.  In the states, I was involved in a small group Bible study.  I had a Bible memory accountability partner.  I had “iron sharpening iron” relationships.  When I moved to the field, those all went away.  On top of that, vocabulary cards started to replace Bible memory cards.  Instead of spare minutes spent in communion with the Lord, those spare minutes were spent studying for language school.  

I was also concerned about my children.  They couldn’t understand what was being taught in church in another language.  There was no children’s Sunday School or Bible clubs.  I soon realized that we needed to find other ways to fill the void.  

On Thursday evenings, my husband was teaching a Bible study, so the kids and I made this sermon night.  We would listen to a sermon via sermon audio.  This fed us spiritually and it was a great opportunity for them to sharpen their note-taking skills.  

We memorized Bible passages together.  It was a wonderful source of accountability for me as I led the kids in this endeavor.  We would recite them together regularly.

Now that I am in the empty nest stage, I have joined an online Bible memory group.  I don’t always do the passage they are doing, but it spurs me on to keep working on my projects.  They started a new passage this week.  It is a passage I have already memorized, so I am using this time to review it.  If you are looking for something like this, you can join here.

I also participate in online Bible studies.  There are several resources for this.  A recent one that I discovered is Disciplines of a Godly Woman.  It’s being led my Sarah at Joy-filled Days.  The introductory post is here.  The beginning post is here.  Sarah talks about the study on her instagram account.  This one really piqued my interest.  It’s easy to think we have arrived and don’t need help in the area of discipline, but I find that every time my life changes, I can get lazy very easily with lots of excuses.  I could really use the encouragement during this furlough to be more disciplined in some areas of my life.  

The purpose of this post is to share ideas of ways that we can continue to grow in our relationship with the Lord without the community that those in the states may have.  We can get so busy serving that sometimes we forget to just “be” with the Lord.  If you have other ideas or suggestions, please share them in the comments below.  Let’s encourage one another in this important area of our lives.

*I posted this photo on Instagram several weeks ago.  Furlough is such a challenging time to find quiet space.  I grab it where and when I can!

Leaving the Lies Behind - Part 3

My family has been serving in France as missionaries for almost twenty years.  As any missionary who has been living on the field for that long can tell you, as much as I love France, it will never completely be home.  I do not always feel the weirdness of living outside of my native country, but in the back of my mind, I know that I am and will forevermore be the foreigner here.  

Maybe it comes from the strange looks I get when I butcher that phrase in French that I have said flawlessly a hundred times before.  Maybe it comes in the head-scratching moments when stores are closed for one month every summer, every Monday, and sometimes just because a holiday falls on a Thursday.  Maybe it comes as you commit the never-ending list of cultural faux-pas, social awkwardnesses and embarrassing moments that remind you that in spite of your best efforts, you will never ever ever ever ever ever actually fit in here. 

Cue social media.

I love the social part of social media.  I love feeling connected to family and friends in the U.S. (and fellow missionaries around the world.) With the touch of a button, I can wish happy birthday to my brother, or congratulate a niece on the birth of her child, or cheer on a friend as her family grows, excels, celebrates, and generally enjoys all the benefits of living in the good ole US of A.

That part is great.  The not-so-great part is that if I am not carefully guarding my heart, I risk exposing it to one of Satan’s lies, and it is a real doozy.

Lie number three:  Your life would be better in the U.S.

How I wish I could say that I have never entertained this lie in my heart.  To be honest, usually I don’t.  I am happy living here in what I consider to be one of the most beautiful countries on the planet.  My family is here, our ministry is here, our “home” is here.  When life is generally going well here, I don’t tend to dwell on what I am “missing” by not being in the U.S.  

When challenges on the field arise, however, my comfort-craving heart looks around for the “quick-fixes” that will instantly transform my difficult situation into my dream life.  I want my problems to go away, my trials to vanish overnight, and my life to continue on without its difficulties.  Many times, my challenges arise from being “stuck” here, in this place, in this time. I find myself whispering in my heart, “If only I were back in the U.S., I wouldn’t be facing this problem right now. Life would be good.  Better, even.”

What does my “better” life in the U.S. look like?

My financial needs would be better.  I am so thankful for our financial supporters and for their continued faithfulness in giving.  It would be impossible for us to stay on the field without their sacrifices and support, both materially and spiritually.  But oh, the joys of living with fluctuating exchange rates, bank closings, late deposit transfers, and the challenges of overseas bureaucratic “red tape” that can throw our finances into a tailspin!  Or the unexpected medical emergencies.  Or emergency evacuations from dangerous circumstances.  The comments from well-meaning family members--“Why don’t you just find a job there to help out?”—fall flat.  If only it were that easy…

When Satan roars this lie in my heart, I must run to the truth of God’s provision being linked to His faithfulness and not to my location.  When Paul wrote in Philippians 4 about learning to be content in whatever state he found himself, he was in prison.  Later in that chapter, he was encouraging an extremely persecuted and financially burdened church that God was the provider of their needs, through Christ: 

“But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” 

While God employs people or jobs to supply our needs is not the important part.  He is the Provider, and His provision comes in His way, in His timing, through His means.  

Am I willing to trust in His provision, in His timing?

My family would be better.  My husband was born and raised here in France by missionary parents.  So are my children.  I love seeing France through their eyes.  For the most part, they have accepted through the years that their lives are different from the ones they would have lived in the U.S. Different, but still good.  Of course, I know better.  I know that my husband would be better respected as a pastor in the U.S., that he would be less stressed with ministry needs and more fulfilled in his relationships with other men.  My children would have the myriad opportunities for sports and social encounters and camps and church activities, not to mention all the “stuff” that accompanies normal teen life in the U.S., right?

How short-sided my view of “better” for my family is, in light of all of the spiritual blessings that come from a life well-lived for Christ.  Whenever I am tempted to compare my life “here” with my life “there,” I must remember that the blessings that come from Christ are spiritual ones, not necessarily tangible ones, and they are not linked to a place.  Ephesians 1:3 reminds me, 

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ.” 

In fact, the whole first chapter of Ephesians is a wonderful stopping-off place whenever I am tempted to complain about my current situation in life.  Is there any temporal blessing that can compare to being redeemed through the riches of God’s grace, an heir of the Father, knowing the mystery of God who revealed Himself to us through His Son? I do not have to be in America for my family to be blessed—we are already abundantly blessed, wherever we are. 

My ministry would be better.  It’s no secret that God’s work anywhere in the world is not getting easier, period.  It takes years of investment in people’s lives and during the “lean” times of ministry, it is just so, so, so tempting to quit.  These folks just aren’t “getting it.” There must be another place where it is easier to do the Lord’s work.  Why, in America right now, they are holding revival meetings and there are Christian camps and song services and Christian colleges, blog writers and ladies’ meetings.  I am sure hearts would be more receptive “over there.”

My stateside friends are rolling their eyes right now.  Of course, the ministry is not any easier in the U.S. Every field has its own challenges and faces its own obstacles to the Lord’s message. Ministry is difficult, period. And I should not expect it to be any different, whether I am surrounded by other Christians in the U.S. or ministering alone here on the field.  I am never alone. What a beautiful promise Jesus left His disciples at the end of His ministry to them:

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

The Lord’s work will always be hard, no matter where I am.  But if I am not where I am supposed to be, it will be infinitely harder.  And if God has called me to be here in France, I will never be more blessed in the ministry anywhere else than right here.

On our last furlough we stayed in a mission’s house with an old television that only received the local channels.  One commercial for life insurance played on a loop during certain broadcasts.  The question that the paid sponsor asked was always, “What’s your better?” What would make my life better in the future than it is right now?  It is a good question to ask, because it often reveals gaping holes in my own daily walk.  

Whatever I am tempted to cling to as a “better” than my current situation needs to be brought in line with God’s Word.  If I am walking close to Him, in the place He has called me and being faithful in the work that He is calling me to do, then the “better” I am longing for is not part of God’s best for me.  Whatever is not for God’s best in my life, no matter how tempting it might seem at the moment, needs to be left aside.  Only as I humbly accept the portion that God has given me today in this place will I ever truly be blessed and satisfied.  

“I cried unto thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living.” (Psalm 142:5)

Read Part 1 and 2 here...

Part 1

Part 2

Susan Abbett is a missionary wife and mom serving the Lord for almost twenty years in the needy country of France. Nothing wakes her up better than coffee, motivates her like learning from God's Word, challenges her like teaching anything to anyone who will listen, and refreshes her like being outside, usually walking or working in her garden. If she could sum up her life in one verse it would be John 3:30: "He must increase but I must decrease."

Think on These Things

My thought-life is one of my own worst enemies. The "what if's?" and "why's?" roll around in my mind until I am a mess. Thankfully, Philippians 4:8 gives me an outline of how to fill my mind with better things:

Philippians  4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

This is how I understand these words but is only a fraction of their meaning, really. Renaming them helps me to understand them better.

True: transparent, the real thing.
Honest: without deceit or pretense.
Just: fair, equal.
Pure: clean, untarnished.
Lovely: beautiful, kind.
Good report: tried and true, a good reputation.

 If I can replace my negative thoughts with something from the guideline given in Philippians, my whole outlook changes. For example, when I feel stressed, I immediately try to think of something lovely. What comes to mind? My daughter and a rose that she gave me. Suddenly, I am thinking of my beautiful daughter and her beautiful act of giving me a beautiful rose. It is a lovely thought.

Sometimes we simply need to change our mind to think on these true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and well-reported things.

Patrick and Vicki Weimer, since 1999

Under-confident

Do you have a friend who is always unsure of themselves? Saying things like:

"I'm just not good enough. I think God wants me to do this, but I don't think I can. I'm just not ___________ enough."

And then what is your response? If you're anything like me, you may roll your eyes internally, and then jump into listing everything you like about that person, all their strengths, and all the reasons why they should not only do it, but why it will be a raging success. It's human nature to want to comfort the other person.

There's nothing wrong with this, is there? It isn't difficult, and it makes you both feel better. For the moment anyway.

But this isn't how God handled it when Moses was convinced he wouldn't be able to fulfill his calling. Look at Exodus 3:11-12:

"(11) And Moses said unto God, Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?

(12) And he said, Certainly I will be with thee; and this shall be a token unto thee, that I have sent thee: When thou hast brought forth the people out of Egypt, ye shall serve God upon this mountain."

Moses has absolutely no confidence he will be able to do this thing God has called him to do. I mean, he tried once before and that didn't end well. (He killed a guy.) And even though that failure was 40 years prior, Moses can't forget it.

But look at what God says. He doesn't spend the next half hour telling Moses how strong, smart, handsome, or good he is. He doesn't mention anything about Moses at all. He simply says "I'm going to be with you this time."

He reminds Moses that success doesn't depend on himself at all, but rather on the presence and timing of God. And God is telling him it will be a success! He will accomplish what he is being called to do!

What is God calling you to do that you've resisted because you had no confidence? Take confidence in the Lord, and His power. By yourself you will fail. But we have a mighty God who promises to walk with us and equip us for our calling.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

John 15:4-5 (4) Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

(5) I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Leaving the Lies Behind - Part 2

I may shock a few people today with this statement, but here it goes, anyway:

There is no “missionary lady” magical formula.  

Oh, how I wish there were.  I wish in that moment that I knelt at the altar and surrendered my life to “full-time Christian service” (which we should already be doing, but that is a different blog post), that God would bestow on me every externally pleasing gift that every “good missionary lady” should have, but He doesn’t.  Or, at least, He didn’t for me.  

Let’s be honest here:

All missionary ladies do not play the piano, sing special music, teach children or women with no preparation time, have a house that is always company-ready day or night, nor do they have perpetually perfect children.  

No Christian woman does, for that matter.  The pressure we put on ourselves (or that we perceive others putting on us) is just plain unrealistic and unhealthy.

And yet, this is another one of those mental battlefields for the truth that Satan loves to engage us on.  

Lie Number Two :  “I’m not ______ enough.”

Let me be quick to say that every Christian woman the world over struggles with this lie. We know in our hearts that we are not perfect and can never be, but inside of us we hope that someone, somewhere is.  That gives me the hope that maybe somewhere down the line, I will be ____ enough. Maybe reading my Bible or praying more or being more sacrificial or taking lessons or doing some action on my part will make me _____ enough.   

My mind frantically looks around for someone who is ____ enough.  

Where do we look most often?  The leading ladies in our churches and those women who are held in esteem in our midst. Including that mystical creature known as the “missionary lady.”

Let’s face it:  most people’s experience with missionary ladies come from brief encounters in church meetings.  The missionary wife or single lady looks put together on the outside.  She talks in highly compact and copiously edited sound bites of her exotic experiences on the field.  Many times, the missionary lady sings beautifully or accompanies her family on the piano.  She shares her delightful experiences with grace and humor as she creatively teaches ladies or children. Her children (if she has the prerequisite three or more) are seemingly well-groomed and sit more or less patiently in church.  

Ladies who have grown up in church with this external perfection drummed into their heads and later become missionaries themselves have a hard time reconciling their messy day-to-day lives with the flawless missionary model they have constructed.   Difficult living conditions make even basic personal care challenging.  Her daily routines would make the average American church-goer gasp if they knew what was going on behind the scenes.  Her teaching is invested not in public displays in front of church congregations but behind closed doors as she homeschools her often unwilling children.  The grace and humor she displayed in churches can quickly give way to frustration and complaining if she is not carefully guarding her heart.  

The door has been left wide open for Satan’s destructive whispers:  “What are you doing here?  Who do you think you are?  How did you ever think that you could do this?  You will never be ____ enough.  You might as well quit and return back to the U.S. and let someone who is more qualified carry on. ¨

I know that we already know this, but it bears repeating anyway:  You are not ____ enough. And God never called you to be. Instead, He patiently reminds us that He is enough.  

“I am not spiritual enough.”  God did not save us because we were spiritual enough.  He saved us because we could not save ourselves and were completely dependent on His grace and mercy.  So then, after we are saved, why do we think that we must have a spiritual sufficiency that does not take in consideration His grace in our own sinfulness?  

We are not called to do anything without God.  It is His Spirit living in us that enables us to do anything for Him.  We should not live as slaves to sin, as Romans 6:11-14 reminds us that we are dead to sin.  However, we will never be spiritual enough to do anything for God in ourselves.   He alone can work through us to do any good work for Him.  “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.” (2 Corinthians 3:5-6)

“I am not talented enough.”  When we begin to compare ourselves or our ministry with others, this lie comes to the forefront.  We know that God has not called us to do everything in the same way, but couldn’t we be just a little more like ____ who does everything perfectly? Or maybe we have a heart for a certain ministry but find our talents or skills lacking?

I often find myself returning to Exodus 35 when God was preparing the new tabernacle for His service.  God specifically chose Betsaleel and Oholiab to do a specific work and then equipped them to do it.  Moses had his job, Aaron had his job, and Betsaleel and Oholiab had their jobs. Each one of them was especially endowed by God to do their service for Him.  What an amazing work that was completed when each one surrendered himself to the task that God had equipped him for!  What an amazing work we can do when we invest our talents for the Lord.

“I am not smart enough.”  Learning a language is not for the faint of heart.  Navigating daily life in a foreign country reminds us daily how “dumb” we are.  Maybe we lack formal Bible training and feel inadequate to penetrate through years of false teaching to share God’s Word.  Or have never been equipped to counsel people though difficult pitfalls in their lives.  All of this reminds us that we are not clever enough, but that’s okay.  Humbling, but okay. 

When I am tempted with this lie, I often turn to Exodus 3 and 4 and remember God’s encounter with Moses in the burning bush.  Every one of Moses’s objections ended with the Lord reminding Moses who He is. Of His presence.  Of His power.  Of His love. He reminds Moses in verse three of chapter three, “I will be with you.” God doesn’t say, “You got this, Moses.” God reminds Him that He “has this,” and that is enough.

“I am not strong enough.”  Nothing prepares a person for arriving on the mission field and really seeing the need firsthand.  We feel overwhelmed.  Outnumbered.  Completely inadequate when facing the insurmountable needs all around us.  Add to that the pressures we face when difficulties press us on the home front, when tragedy strikes our loved ones thousands of miles away and we are “stuck” here, helpless and unable to provide that physical support to our family and loved ones in the distance. Our defenses crack and we realized how woefully weak we are for the challenges that face us. 

How many times I have been encouraged by Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. Read them once again and remember God’s abundant strength in our weaknesses:

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

The fact is, none of us is ever enough to do anything that God has called us to do. That is the miracle of His grace. In His unfailing love, God takes frail, unworthy creatures, saves us from our sins, and equips us through His Son to do His work through us.  That is His grace, His amazing love in action in us and through us.

The next time that we are tempted to meditate this lie from Satan, let’s agree with Him.  Yes, we are not enough.  But we are not supposed to be.  And then let us pray to the One who is sufficient in all things, for His strength to do what He has called us to do.

“And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.” (I Thessalonians 5:23-24).

Missed Part 1?  Click here.

Susan Abbett is a missionary wife and mom serving the Lord for almost twenty years in the needy country of France. Nothing wakes her up better than coffee, motivates her like learning from God's Word, challenges her like teaching anything to anyone who will listen, and refreshes her like being outside, usually walking or working in her garden. If she could sum up her life in one verse it would be John 3:30: "He must increase but I must decrease."

If You Can't Be Told, You Have to Feel

"If you can't be told, you have to feel." -Rob Hennel

I first heard this quote from my band director when I was in high school. That may seem like a weird place to remember something like this from, but I spent a lot of time in band. I was a band nerd from the fourth grade, did jazz band, pep band, marching band, etc. I really loved it.

And there were a lot of times when we couldn't/wouldn't as a whole, settle down and listen to instruction. We'd rush through pieces and not watch his direction. We'd have side conversations when he was trying to instruct us. When he'd get super frustrated his face used to turn crimson and he would hang his head, eventually spreading silence through the room. Then he'd begin adding time to the rehearsal until we could get it together. When people groaned, he'd shrug his shoulders and say "If you can't be told, you have to feel."

I admit at the time that phrase didn't make a lot of sense to me. Like no sense at all, actually. I didn't mind longer rehearsals, so I guess it wasn't really a punishment for me. But fast forward to having my own children, and I suddenly saw how wise it is! When my girls were little and they couldn't obey by just being told not to do/touch something, then they had to feel through a tap on the hand or a spank. As they got older it was through losing privileges, or missing out on experiences.

If you can't be told, you have to feel.

I now apply this to my spiritual life. If I can't obey through being told, looking to Jesus as my director and guide, then I have to 'feel' in order for the lesson to sink in. This usually comes in the form of me making a bad decision/being stubborn/rushing ahead of God's plan and timing, and then having to feel the consequences- whether that be humbling myself and asking forgiveness, or an unpleasant physical or spiritual consequence.

If you can't be told, you have to feel.

I pray now that I am older I am doing better in the 'being told' part of the equation so I don't have to 'feel' so much in order to learn. I sure am thankful for God's mercy and patience in my life, and for the wisdom that band director may not have known he was imparting!

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:

Proverbs 19:20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.

Leaving the Lies Behind - Part 1

Leaving the Lies Behind - Part 1

by Susan Abbett

Do you remember the children’s song, “Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes What You See?”  

That song we teach our children still convicts me as an adult.  Am I careful where my not-so-little feet now go? What my not-so-little tongue says?  

The most convicting verse of all for me?  

“Oh, be careful little mind what you think…”

Do missionary wives struggle with their thought life?   I wish I could put on my Super Missionary Wife/Mom cape and deny it until my last breath, but let’s just be honest here.  Being a godly wife and mom anywhere in the world is hard.  But take that same godly wife and mother and place her in a strange culture, cut off physically from her familiar comforts and anchors, and put her on the frontlines of doing the Lord’s work in well-ensconced enemy territory… 

Yes, missionary wives can become easy targets for Satan’s lies.  How easy it is for us to allow the difficulties of service to overshadow the amazing truths of God’s Word.  

Many years ago, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth wrote an incredible book entitled Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them free.  If you have never read this insightful book, it is well worth the read. You can get a copy here.

This book exposes the many lies that women face on a daily basis and gives a Biblical perspective on each of them.  I have been recently rereading this book and applying it to my life of almost twenty years on the mission field.  These “missionary thought battles” are not unique to missionary wives and moms, but the support resources that are available to ladies in the US may be nonexistent to their sisters in Christ on the field.  

Yes, we struggle with our thoughts, often with silent tears that slip down our cheeks as we lay in our beds, the only times that many of us have to think about our topsy-turvy lives at all.  This is when Satan whispers his poison to us, drumming it into our minds until it all but drowns out the truth of God’s Word.

Let’s start with a biggie:

Lie Number 1:  “I am all alone here.”

This is the lie with which I struggle the most.  It is hardest because in many cases, it may be true.  I might be the only Christian in my town.  There might not be another Christian church for hours. The only Americans that might “get me” are locked behind a screen.  As thankful as I am for technology, I cannot hug my telephone and have my burdens lifted the way that human contact can.  

Physically, I might be alone.  Satan knows if he can drum this thought into my head, it will open the floodgates for all its ugly sister thoughts:  “Just go back home.  You’re not enough.  There is too much to do by yourself.  You will never make it.  At least in the U.S. there are other Christians, other churches, other homeschoolers…”

Psalm 142 could be our heart cry, but it was penned many years ago by David, all alone in a cave.  Isolated. Cut off from his supports and all that was familiar.  In enemy territory, running for his life.  

“I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication.

² I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble.

³ When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. 

In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me.

⁴ I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: 

refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul.”

Can you feel David’s loneliness and desperation as the Spirit records these words through him? “I am in trouble, but worse than that, I am in trouble and all alone!  Hello? Does anyone care?”

Through these verses I see how God redirects our thoughts toward Him, in our darkest hours. And so, at my loneliest, when my heart is breaking from the isolation and the stress of being “the only one,” I must redirect my thoughts to Him.  

I love how David oriented his thoughts to the Lord.  His heart was crying out, but to the Lord.  Not to people right there.  Not on Facebook (haha) or to other “gods” who could not help him.  

^“5 I cried unto thee, O Lord: 

I said, Thou art my refuge and my portionin the land of the living.”

During life’s most intense moments of persecution and testing, the Lord is right there.  Even when I am “brought low,” God does not abandon me.  He sends deliverance and comfort, even when there may be no one else around me to help.

^“6 Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: 

deliver me from my persecutors; for they are stronger than I.”

I have learned after many years of ministering alone here that the Lord always sends someone at just the right time.  If I always had the human fellowship that I craved, my soul would never cry out to the Lord.  I would depend on others for strength, instead of leaning hard on Him.

I forget too quickly that loneliness is for a season.  It does not last forever.  God raises up those Jonathons whose souls are bound to ours.  He raises up those Aarons and Hurs to reinforce my failing arms in His time.

^“7 Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: 

the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.”

My thoughts must return to Jesus.  How did He handle the overwhelming loneliness just hours before His own death, while His closest friends slept during His most desperate hours?

He prayed. He prayed to the only one who could hear and help.  He prayed for deliverance.  While He was praying for deliverance from His present circumstances, Jesus prayed for courage to accept His lonely mission.  Then, He got up from the garden and got back to fulfilling His Father’s will. 

When loneliness overwhelms me, may I be willing to take it to the Lord.  He understands my intense longings for fellowship. He desires my company and time spent with Him.  He longs for my heart to long after His, to be my Refuge when everything else around me crumbles.  

Will I allow the Lord to be my friend, my comfort, my confidant, my refuge?

Susan Abbett is a missionary wife and mom serving the Lord for almost twenty years in the needy country of France. Nothing wakes her up better than coffee, motivates her like learning from God's Word, challenges her like teaching anything to anyone who will listen, and refreshes her like being outside, usually walking or working in her garden. If she could sum up her life in one verse it would be John 3:30: "He must increase but I must decrease."

Sometimes Life Looks Like Death

When I first moved to Zambia I had no clue about plant life. Like, none. I had previously killed a rubber tree when my husband and I were first married, and they are known to be tough. It might've even been a fake one, I'm not sure.

Not that I've grown much in my knowledge of plants and how to keep them alive, but I have realised a few things. Specifically what new growth looks like.

I had never had mango trees or rose bushes in my yard anywhere I had lived before. So when I saw these brownish shoots on the plants, I thought they were dying. I wondered what had happened to make them sick and cause this problem.

Well, I was quickly taught by a friend (okay it was one of my kids) that those brownish bits were signs of growth, not death. There was nothing wrong with the plant. Those brown shoots would turn light green, and then eventually darken like the rest of the plant. I was so relieved!

I think a similar thing can apply to me spiritually. When new growth happens in my life, sometimes it looks like death. Death to my past, death to my will, death to my old ways of thinking, death to who I used to be, death to relationships that are harmful to me. And it's a continual process. I am always being molded and changed by the Holy Spirit in me, and encouraged to new growth and life.

It takes time. Just like that tree doesn't shoot up fully grown out of the ground, so my spiritual growth takes time. Salvation happens in an instant, but maturity in Christ is a process.

Something that looks like death, and maybe feels like death in the moment, is really life! It makes me stronger and able to produce more fruit. Growing pains are just that- painful. But it is so worth it to become who God is calling me to be.

Romans 6:4-7
(4)Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
(5) For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
(6) Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
(7) For he that is dead is freed from sin.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Cream of Mushroom Soup

Cream of Mushroom Soup:

A base for many soups and cassaroles, but something we cant get here. 

Cream of soups were one of the first things my mom figured out how to make from scratch. They are surprisingly easy to make! 

Melt butter in a small pot, and whisk in flour. 

Slowly pour in one cup of cream. Whisk it until it's smooth. Slowly pour in mushroom water or broth. Whisk it untill it's smooth. Add salt. Add mushrooms. Bring soup to a simmer, and allow it to thicken. Rememeber, the soup will thicken a little when it cools. Use like you would normally use cream of mushroom soup. 

If you want to make cream of broccoli soup, just substitute the mushrooms for broccoli! 

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as we do! 

Amber Wells 

Papua New Guinea 🇵🇬

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