Furlough Fitness (Stepping into the Battle)

"Auntie, when you come back, you will be big! All the missionaries get fat when they leave and come back."

The bluntness of our country's culture is sometimes brutal. Sigh...

In this case, it was the brutal truth.

On furlough, missionaries spend enormous amounts of time sitting in pews, sitting in cars while traveling, and eating fast food on the go. Temptations are at every corner. Foods we cannot get on the field call to us with sugary, glaze-laden voices.

Sorry, dear missionary woman. The bathroom scale isn't lying. You are well on your way to packing on the Furlough Twenty... or Thirty. (Who knew you could gain that much weight in a few months?!)

He's My Ox And He's Worth The Mess

"Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox." Prov. 14:4

 

When you read this verse what do you think about? I think about things that I have in my life that have much strength. Things that bring tremendous benefit to my life. But when you own an ox, does your life change? It absolutely does. It needs to be fed, cared for and it may just even mess up his stall everyday! If you have a perfectly clean beautiful red barn, as picturesque as can be, and it has nothing in it, what good does it do you? Does it bring you any benefit? No! There will be sacrifices and frustrations when you extend yourself to allow other things or people into your life. But it will also grow you in unbelievable ways and give you strength and capability you could never possess on your own.

I don't know if you have guessed it by now, but in my mind many times my "ox" is my husband. He brings inexplicable strength and stability to my life. He provides for me on a daily basis physically, emotionally and spiritually. But did you know my amazing husband isn't completely perfect! And, shhh...... I'm not either! And you better sit down for this.....there are times when I even get frustrated with some of those small imperfections.

Like every person or thing in your life, if you allow yourself you can get side tracked by menial frustrations and imperfections. Have you ever found yourself focusing on someone's faults more than their strengths? Have you ever heard yourself complaining about your beloved "ox" (husband, child, pastor, etc.) more than you praise them? Sometimes it takes being shocked by something devastating to realize how trivial your complaints may be and to remind you that you are blessed to have an "ox" in your life.

Recently, I found myself in that very place. I had found a menial thing to get frustrated with and I was in my pouty pants! Then walks in a young girl similar to my age, who has 3 young children. My friend introduces me to this young mom and tells me how she and her children our now living in the area. It was one of those awkward moments, when little was said but much was heard. In those brief moments, I knew I was meeting a woman who was alone and had seen suffering. She was raising 3 children on her own and no longer had her mate standing by her side to battle everything that comes her way. My heart broke.

I can't express the feeling I feel when I meet young moms whose life had been ripped to shreds by broken marriages. Who are alone bearing the burdens of parenthood all on their own. Whose dreams have been shattered but they must wake up everyday and pick up the pieces and carry on for the bundles of joy God gave them to care for. I want to hug them, cry for them, squeeze them, pray for them and love them to pieces.

Then I thought about my petty, stupid problems I was in a snit about. How ridiculous they sounded. How unthankful I sounded! And this verse rushed into my mind. Yes my "ox" comes with challenges and sometimes believe it or not, annoyances! But anything that brings strength and profit to your life will. If your ever wondering if it would be nice to not have to deal with all those little annoyances sometime, all it takes is one look at someone who has had it ripped away from them to know the answer.

So when your frustrated and upset because the dishwasher wasn't organized properly, or the pool toys were left all over the yard, or the whites were mixed with the colors, or your day didn't go as planned, stop! Stop and think about those whose marriages have been broken beyond repair and are living on their own, think about those who have lost someone to sickness and who have died too young, think about that parent whose precious child didn't make it to adulthood. If your like me, just a glance at this will remind you that your "ox", though they may come with inconveniences and hassles at times fill your life with joy and strength you would never want to dream of living without.

So, let's not get to pouty over the small things. Let's take the time to praise those we love and embrace every moment we can with them. Let's love around the faults just like we would hope they would for us.

It's worth it!

 

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3... 2... 1... Furlough! "Kermit"

She has been affectionately named Kermit.

Light green in color... and bouncing like a frog, to and fro.

It's our van.

Kermit has tasted adventure.

The sights, sounds, smells... yes, even smells... she has been with us through them all.

We load her up...

We unload her...

How To Deal With Jet-Lagged Babies

If you live more than slightly "across the pond", when you venture back to the states with little ones it is quite the......journey. Before the little ones come along, international travel is still a bear, but a few days later you shake it off and move on. We have had multiple people visit us this summer. We check in with them to see if they are doing ok and they all seem to barely experience the effects of jet lag. One good day of rest and they are "roar-roaring to go". What?!?! I asked my husband, "How do they arrive completely fine and when we stumble of the plane I feel it would be generosity for someone to put me out to pasture?!"

The answer, babies:)

Parents of little ones sitting in a plane seat for 25-40 hours see very little sleep and even after disembarking will struggle to find that sweet normal of a full nights sleep. Also, if you aren't somewhat strategic, in my opinion, this can be a painful process.

So here is my thoughts on dealing with baby jet lag.

1. Don't rush it! When I first embarked on this with babies I was on my normal track to pushing myself back to a normal schedule. But, guess what?! Babies have no such desire. They just want to sleep when they are tired and most likely that will NOT be in the middle of the night:) So you can keep pushing if you want but if you get in your correct schedule and they still aren't you will end up frustrated and getting even less sleep. So my first advice is to relax and give it time. They will adjust!

2. Get up when they do. Most likely that will be. 2 am, 4:20am, and 5:36am and all random times till they reach that sweet spot. But that will most likely be the natural times for you to get up also. However as adults we understand we should lay down and push ourselves to sleep more and get back to normal. They have no such inclinations. So don't fret. Get up, eat breakfast at 2:30am have some calm activities and don't stress. If they will go back to sleep after an hour or two, hurray! If not, press on and catch them again at their next random nap.

3. Push little by little. While mine, generally go 5 hours before nap, during jet lag it maybe 2 hrs- 7 hours. If they are totally un-pleasant don't turn it into marine re-con training, let them sleep. My husband recently said, "SEALS don't need speciality training. Put them on a flight and jet lag with babies and they will be set!". Sure feels true. However, if they are distracted and can make it closer to their normal nap time, awesome! Make it as close to a normal bed time as you can but don't be too dissapointed if it's only an hour or two later then the day before. Progress is progress!

4. Don't plan a rigorous schedule the minute you get home. Babies are super unpredictable during jet lag. And as much as we may want to visit Chuck E cheese, the park, the zoo, McDonald's and the state fair the first day it would be glutton for punishment. Give them time to take in everything slowly and it will Pay off with happy babies who can actually enjoy these activities.

5. Snuggle with them. Sometimes little ones who wake up early will drift back to dream land if we just snuggle with them a little as their sleep is interrupted by the dreaded jet lag.

6. Use the time to adjust to American Time. I don't know about you but where we live church doesn't start at 7pm and go to 9. We are never out past 7! Therefore my kids are in bed by 7. It can be extremely frustrating to try to keep your children on the same time schedule when Americans don't operate like that. So I find this is a great time to scoot that bed time back to what will be convenient for your visit and see if they will sleep in a later too and get all their zzzzzzzz's in, in a convenient time.

Rest assured in probably a week or so your sweet babies will be back to normal and so will you. Don't stress, take the time to get much needed rest and enjoy every moment of your travels. Eat your favorite American ice cream at 3:45, watch the newest Disney movie as you do and snuggle up to that warm mattress and sleep when you can with your tiny bundle of energy.

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3... 2... 1... Furlough! "Going Forth... Going Fourth"

Maybe to some it's just another day.

Maybe to some it's just a cookout with family or a day off work.

Maybe to some it's irritation from the neighbors who stay up late making noise and interrupting sleep.

Somehow this year, on our first furlough, those late night neighbors making racket didn't seem to bother me like it did before we went to the field. Somehow it just seemed our family cookout was more that just some chicken on a plate.

Just another day? No. A hundred times... no.

Let me help you see July 4th through a missionary's eyes.

Independence Day

Even though we are called to a country 10,000 miles away...

There's still something special about those Stars and Stripes.

That song still makes me stand at attention and cover my heart as tears well up in my eyes.

That bird still takes my breath away.

Fireworks are still more than just entertainment.

A celebration.

     A reminder.

          My country.

I am thankful God made this country the land of my nativity, so that I would be blessed with the tools... The opportunity... The freedom to reach another country for His glory.

Happy Independence Day, my beloved homeland.

Late night sparklers... while in our pajamas!

The first fireworks we have seen in four years.

On Display

A large portion of our time on furlough is spent on the road. It's enough to drive one crazy.

Of course, our family has learned to make the most of road trips.

When we arrive at our destination, we have a system of unloading the things we need and getting things set up. Everyone grabs a bag and their Bible, and then heads in the church.

We love our supporting church families. We love sharing with them the things God has been doing on the field. We love watching their excitement as they see the video and the pictures.

One of our favorite parts is our display table. (For security reasons, certain portions of the following pictures have been edited.)

We chose the items for our display table very strategically. We wanted a little of something for everyone, from child to adult and male and female.

The Banner:

We designed the banner to show pictures of the different areas of service in the ministry on our field. We ordered the banner from Post Up Stand. We ordered the 33"x40" Narrow Base model. We love it. It's the perfect size for putting on tables or sitting on floors if the table is too small. We have been pleased with its quality as well as how simple it is to put up and take down.

We covered the table with a blanket made on our field. We added many "hands-on" items for children to be able to touch. One of our favorites is the yak. Our family has affectionately named him "Kitty." Small children love to pet Kitty. While they are giving Kitty some love, it gives us a chance to talk with the children.

We also have interesting items that show something special about the culture of our people. The brass "hospitality cup" is just such an item. The people in the villages of our country use that pot to serve water to their guests. Everyone drinks from the same pot, but don't worry. They don't put their mouths on it. They pour it into their mouths from above their heads. I am happy to say that after much practice, and many wet shirts, I have finally learned to drink from this pot.

We also had a photo album of our first term made through Shutterfly. (We waited until Shutterfly had their "free book" offer. It saved quite a bit of money. They do that offer two or three times a year.) People of all ages love browsing through that book.

For music lovers, we try to always have a musical instrument on the table. Just a note of caution: if you choose an instrument that requires putting your mouth on it to play it, also bring a method of sanitizing it.

The knife on the display is a huge hit with boys and men! Just be sure that if you use a knife of some sort that it is kept toward the back away from little hands, keep it unsharpened, and remove it if you are away from the table or if the table is out of sight.

We designed our prayer cards, and then had them printed through Got Print. The quality is wonderful, and the cost just could not be beaten.

We also have a display item that has the language of the people. In our case, it's a calendar. We chose the calendar because our country has its own calendar that differs from the international calendar. The calendar has more pictures of the country and the people. We have used a small New Testament before.

Suggestions for display tables:

Make it interactive.

You want people to get involved, even if it is only for five minutes.

Make it fun for all ages.

You just never know how that one encounter will touch the hearts of little ones as well as the full grown ones.

Use items that give and opportunity for you to talk with the people about the item.

Missions is an amazing partnership between goer and sender. You want as much opportunity to nurture those relationships as possible. Communication makes it personal instead of distant.

Pictures, pictures, pictures...

Lamentations 3:51 "Mine eye affecteth mine heart..."

Are You Ready?

Over the last two months, I’ve been shocked to learn of many deaths. They were caused by murders, accidents, sudden sicknesses, long illnesses, and heart attacks. 

All were Christians. 

All were missionaries.

Are you ready?

Oh, I know. No one wants to even think of his own death. We all want to live long lives with many happy days ahead. (Me, too!)

But we don’t have that guarantee.

Are you ready?

There’s an old saying that a missionary needs to be ready to preach, pray or die at any time. I think we’re usually ready to preach (to women and children, mind you), and to pray, but I'm not sure we're ready to die. I almost envy the person who has time to prepare. (I’m talking about the person who has an incurable illness and knows he has a year at best, several months at the least.) He gets his house in order, writes some amazing letters, and he tries to make happy final memories each day.

We feel we’re immortal . . . 

and we’re not prepared.

Indeed, we are immortal until God says our work is done. But, we don’t usually get advance notice of when that time will be. When do we get to depart and to be with Christ?* We really don’t know. 

I come from a family of long-lived people. Some smoked, some had cancer, and some worked in coal mines. But, it’s amazing; most of them lived well into their eighties or nineties. Will I have that privilege? I have no idea.

And neither do you.

I’m not trying to be morbid, you understand. I want to be ready. I know you do, too. And, truthfully, I love the idea of going in the Rapture. Swoosh! With the Lord. Yes!!!

Even if you’re twenty-five or thirty, you want your life to make a difference. You wouldn’t be a missionary if you didn’t love souls and have a vision for the lost. You want to train women and children. You want to leave a legacy for the generations to come. 

Here are a few suggestions for getting ready for heaven, just in case you're taken by surprise: 

1. Make sure you have a will. Yes, I know missionaries don’t own much, but we need to make it as easy as possible for those we leave behind. Keep your will up to date (add married kids’ names, acquired property, car, etc.). 
2. Have a life insurance policy—to cover funeral expenses—and list your closest relative(s) as beneficiary.
3. Ask the questions you want to ask and say the things you want to say. When you’re with your parents, find out about family history. Write it down for the next generation. Thank your teachers, your family members, your pastor, and anyone else who impacted your life. Tell the people you love that you love them. All the time. You never know when it will be the last.
4. Write things down. I realize we don’t all enjoy writing and journaling isn’t everyone’s thing. But, I’m talking about meaningful notes on special occasions. Surely, you can write something lovely a few times a year. Keep a copy on your computer. If you’re an older missionary, consider writing a memoir. (It’s on my “to do” list.”) Tell how God answered prayers and blessed you. (Think of the impact Rosalind Goforth, Isobel Kuhn, and Amy Carmichael have had on us.)
5. Simplify your stuff. I know that some of you are amazing organizers and that you weed out regularly. I applaud you! For the rest of us—yep, I’m in your group—we need to chuck, give away, and simplify. If anything were to happen to me now . . . pity my kids! (It’s on my list before the memoir. Definitely a goal for this summer.)
6. Love. Love God, your family, your friends, your church, the people on the street. Let people around you know you love them. And, make sure everyone knows you love God.
7. Laugh. I’m talking about enjoying life. The Bible says, it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion (Ecclesiastes 5:18). I want to be remembered as someone like that.
8. Talk about your funeral wishes with your closest relatives. Write down your favorite hymns, your personal testimony, biographical details, and whatever else you would want for your own funeral. Where do you want to be buried? On your mission field? In a family graveyard? Make sure someone knows where you keep your computer passwords and where your financial records are. Make sure the right people have a copy of your will. Someone needs to know your social security number. Let those closest to you share your important information. You might even want to have copies made for the keys to your home. (We leave copies with a friend any time we travel.) 

Are you ready?

 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. 

For what is your life? 

It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, 

and then vanisheth away (James 4:14).

* Philippians 1:23

Guest Post- My Missions Trip

Traveling internationally is quite an adventure! I did not know what to expect of traveling alone and I was slightly nervous; however, I soon found myself enjoying all the little details and watching people from many nationalities.

By the time I finally landed in Nepal I was tired, dirty and could barely feel my feet from how much they were swollen. Going through customs was an adventure in and of itself. There were no instructions of what all I needed to do. I knew I needed to fill out the application, but every time I went up to the desk the man would tell me of something else I needed. I remember thinking, "Why doesn't he give me a list of these things to do and I'll do them all before coming back up there?"

Baggage claim and going through security was chaotic. There was a man rattling off instructions for security, but it was all in Nepali. This was the first real instance of a language barrier for me. Finally, after much confusion, I made it outside of the airport where I would wait for my missionary contact. It was much darker than I was expecting and I was flooded with men asking me if I needed a taxi. Once they realized I was not going to use their services they pushed me behind the crowd of people waiting.

"You have friend coming?" They would ask.

"Yes."

"You wait here." And they would motion for me to step behind the crowds. More than once they told me to move. I remember wondering if April would be able to find me.

It wasn't long until I did see her coming my way. We drug our bags through the puddles and over the rockey parking lot. After a little elbow grease, we got all of it in the car. We made our way to their apartment (on the "wrong" side of the road) and they got to unpack the bag of goodies from family and friends. It wasn't long before I was ready for a good shower and sleep.

 

They have a good view from their apartment. I remember commenting on how nice it was to see the "mountains", and then being corrected that the people call what I was seeing "hills". I very much enjoyed watching the people plant rice. They do almost all of it by hand. In the states we hear how much we take our conveniences for granted, but we don't fully comprehend what that means. Now, after being here for just a short three weeks I see how much I really do take for granted.

The most common question I have been asked is, "What has shocked you the most." I have found this very difficult to answer because I came not knowing what to expect. However, I come from a very busy lifestyle and the slower paced lifestyle here was the most unexpected. The people here go from sun-up to sun-down and then their day is generally done. They do and make almost everything by hand. And, traffic is so bad that going out to do anything very easily could take up most of your day.

 

Recently, my pastor has placed a lot of emphasis on praying for the safety of our missionaries. I have always prayed for their physical, emotional, and spiritual safety. But, after seeing the dangers of simply crossing the road, or even driving through traffic, I understand even more the importance of praying for their physical safety. After seeing and hearing of a spiritual warfare that we don't understand in America, I can see how vital it is to pray for their spiritual safety.

 

For example, we were riding in a taxi and their almost four-year-old daughter asks about a little idol setting on the dash. In America, little Budhas and other religious symbols are often just a decoration, and doesn't mean anything to the person who has it on display. But for this taxi driver, and for the majority of the people here, this really is an idol. Can you imagine being faced with this on a regular basis and your little girl, who continually asks "why this?" and "why that?", asks, "Mommy, look at that elephant (this specific idol had an elephant head) up there, why does he have it up there?" If this were you, how would you respond? Before this trip, I thought I knew how to pray for our missionaries, but in reality, I had no idea what they face. I may still not fully comprehend their needs, but I understand the pressing need to pray for them.

 

Some of my favorite things you ask? I have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with this missionary family. They have been so welcoming, kind, and helpful. I came hoping to be a blessing, but in return I have been the one who was blessed.

 

A couple other favorites. I love the natural food! April has made American dishes, but the flavor is unreal. No preservatives. Fresh produce is exactly that, fresh. They don't spray their crops, they don't enhance their chickens with anything, she has to pasteurize her own milk. With this blessin, however, comes much added work; hence the slower lifestyle. I have also enjoyed seeing and getting to know their church family. This is another matter of prayer. People in America may be faced with some opposition from family after becoming a Christian, but here once they have made this decision they are basically losing not only their family and friends, but even their sense of community.

 

I could keep going, but the greatest thing I have learned is the importance of understanding the culture and lifestyle of the people to which you are ministering. The McTagues have observed the culture, the religion and lifestyle of their people and through this God has enabled them to better reach the people. I can tell you this, I will go back to America with the goal of re-observing the people in my hometown, to better understand them and reach out to them. I can't focus on results, just simply trust God and do what He has commanded, leaving the results up to Him. Another valuable lesson I have learned is the importance of a balanced scheduled. Knowing what God expects for me to accomplish and being ok with not always accomplishing what "I" think or others think I should accomplish.

 

Even if you never get the opportunity to go visit a missionary on their field, take time to get to know them. They are normal people in an land full of the unfamiliar, simply obeying God.

 

Malissa Arsnoe

Malissa, is a faithful Christian at our home church in Nepal. Last year she requested to come visit us this summer. We thoroughly encouraged her to make the visit. While I didn't know her extremely well personally I expected a good visit. But it far exceeded my expectations. It was a wonder visit; full of blessings, encouragement, lots of chats and plenty of I Love Lucy:) I was excited to hear her perspective on visiting Nepal. I hope you will enjoy her Birdseye view of our little country of Nepal.

 

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