Ask the Old Gals

I remember the incidents but not the details. Many years ago, there were two critical times when someone from our home country asked questions about our part of Spain. Whom did they ask? A young missionary. It was puzzling. Why didn't they ask the veterans? If they really wanted the whole picture, why didn't they ask the pioneer missionary? Why didn't they ask the guy with the most experience? We all make this mistake sometimes. We ask the handy person instead of the one with years of wisdom.

In Titus 2, we read that older women are supposed to teach younger women. Many of you are doing that: mentoring and teaching. But, younger women have a responsibility, too. They're supposed to be sitting at their elder's feet, eagerly learning.

What does this have to do with missionary women? Young missionary women need to be asking questions and learning from the older ones.

I know there's a generation gap, especially a technological gap. (We came to the field 34 years ago with a typewriter.) But, in the years we've been here, we've learned some things. We know what works and what doesn't. We've tried films, concerts, evangelistic meetings, invitational flyers, gospel tracts, and street meetings. In this particular part of Spain, two methods have done better than all the rest combined. (By that, I mean actually reaching souls and adding to the church.) Has anyone ever asked my husband for advice? Not that I know of. Has anyone ever asked me how best to reach women? Not one.

Two or three missionaries preparing to come to Spain wrote to me about homeschooling. One asked another question, too. But, the nitty gritty questions aren't being asked of the veteran ladies. Why not?

If you're a younger missionary woman (not in age necessarily, but in years on the field—say, less than six years), it's wise to get with an older woman on your field and learn from her. What do you ask? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Tips for cultural integration. This will mean different things on each field. How can you best accept and become part of the culture? Dos and don'ts. Lessons she has learned. Things to look for. For example, on our field, nearly every holiday is for a saint or Virgin Mary. Even seemingly innocent cultural activities (concerts, folk dancing, etc.) might be done to honor a saint or the Virgin—one of the more than 900 named Virgins in Spain. Over the years, I have learned to go to see these activities when they are only folk displays and not in a religious context. A newbie might easily go just to see—and unwittingly find herself in a group that's honoring an image. I know I did this many years ago out of ignorance. I could go on and on, but cultural integration includes: dress, family customs, cooking and meal presentation, table manners, proper social habits, visitation in people's homes, and a myriad of other topics. Learn from those who know. Ask the old gals.
2. Tips for communicating the gospel. As you know, you're not communicating the gospel message effectively if it's not in wording that your people can understand. Most people groups have a religious background and they've been taught the lingo. Don't just assume the person means the same thing by the same term. To use an example from Spain: in the Roman Catholic Church, when they talk about "receiving Christ," they mean the part of the mass when they receive (eat) the wafer (according to their doctrine, the body of Jesus). "Have you received Christ?" gets the answer, "Every week." The idea of a personal heart relationship isn't part of that conversation. Ask the veteran how she witnesses to people on your field. It will save you years of learning.
3. Tips for spiritual growth. Ask the older missionary how she does her devotions, how she prays, how she keeps up with Bible study. Ask her and learn. You might even do a study together, or you could ask her for accountability. You can borrow her books and notes.
4. Tips for the practical things of life. How does she cook? What does she know about area schools? How does she manage to cut back on spending? Where does she buy clothes, cloth, gadgets, and food? How does she keep her family safe and healthy? How did she get her driver's license? Should you get a dog? How does she make friends in the community? Ask her. Believe me, she knows.

The Bible is clear about the relationship older women are to have with younger women. This passage begins with aged men. (I include that verse, because it says, The aged women likewise--the same as the men--and then adds advice for older women.) That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed (Titus 2:2-5).

If you're an older missionary woman, are you sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, and in patience? Are you holy in your behavior? You're not a false accuser, not given to much wine, rather you're a teacher of good things? Are you mentoring younger women?

If you're a younger missionary woman, are you learning from the older women on your field? Are you learning to be sober, to love your husband, to love your children, to be discreet, chaste, a keeper at home, good, and obedient to your own husband? The older women on your field, though not perfect, will be able to help you. You will learn valuable life and ministry skills from them. No one will understand you better. They will encourage you to keep going. After all, they did!

Mentor and be mentored. You'll be richer for it.

God bless you, young and old, along this fabulous missionary journey!

by Lou Ann Keiser, 34 years in Basque Spain