Change

I was asked to speak at a women's banquet last month, right after our return home from our first year abroad: language school.  I really struggled with what to share.  But, the more I thought about how our life had changed in just three short years and God has used those changes changed me, I knew exactly what I needed to share. For 37 years, my life was very constant and predictable.  Then, God changed everything.  And by changing everything, He changed me. 

God changed my comfort zone, changing my attitude from Fear to Faith.
Growing up in a town where I'd attended the same school from kindergarten to graduation, the same college for both my Bachelor's degree and Master's, the same church for 30 years, and lived in the same neighborhood for 17 years gave me a great sense of security.  Then, God plopped me in San Jose, Costa Rica--a city of two million people.  Still not that big compared to other places, but pretty big to me.  I had traveled to other countries--Portugal, Spain, Russia, Mexico, Canada, and Jamaica--but I had never lived anywhere else.  It was LOUD, busy, crime-ridden, etc.--everything "big city life" brings.  I locked myself up in the safety of my fortress (my house with bars on pretty much every entry available).  I walked to school and walked home.  And, that was it.  If we walked somewhere as a family, I was a basket case by the time we got home. But, after a week, I knew this was not how I should--or wanted--to live my life.  God brought me CR to live my life for Him, not stay shut away from everyone.  I had a choice to make: allow fear to paralyze me or faith to propel me.  Thankfully, through the leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit, I chose the latter; and God opened up doors to propel me forward in serving Him.  By my third trimester, He tested me again in this area--but not physically.  He tested me spiritually.  I was asked to help lead a ladies' Bible study in Spanish.  What??!!  I hadn't even finished language school yet!  But, I knew God was with me and He had already brought me through fear once before.  I had the privilege to lead several sessions with these women and they were so encouraging as I probably butchered their language while trying to share His Word with them.  PS. This one will always be a test for me...

God changed my vocation, changing my attitude from Disappointment to Desire.
I had been a high school teacher since graduating college and an instructor at the university from where I graduated for 8 years when my husband dropped the bombshell that God was calling our family into full-time missions abroad.  I was excited about moving to Mexico and being part of missions there.  But, I was not in any way, shape, or form excited about no longer teaching and advising college students and now teaching my own children.  I loved classroom teaching.  I was not a "homeschool mom"  nor did I have any desire to be.  Because of the circumstances and knowing it was the direction God was leading our family, I actually got pretty excited about it.  We home-schooled one year.  Although it wasn't my favorite, we survived and enjoyed most of it.  Last year, they attended the international school on our campus; this year, we've started it up again.  And, we LOVE it!  I have loved everything about it.  God has changed my attitude from disappointment over leaving what I loved to desire by loving what I do.

God changed my community, changing my attitude from apathy to adoration.
Ministry can be messy, hard, discouraging, and frustrating.  You see the worst in people many times.  And, honestly, I was "jaded" regarding the Church, the body of Christ.  I was tired of politics within the church, gossiping, tearing one another down, causing dissension among the church members, an "in-ward" focus, etc.  No one church is immune to any of this; nor is any one church member (me included!!)  But, when I became a part of a community of believers of all different walks of life, convictions, ideas, personalities, family dynamics, etc who all were united by one purpose, I saw the Body of Christ as it should be.  I've written an entire blog on this before, but I saw the believers lay down the rights to their opinions to fulfill the call God has given each of us.  God changed my heart of apathy toward the Church to adoration of the Church.  God loves His church; He adores it; and He created it to spread His love to the world.  To our neighbors.  To every nation.  And, I'm thankful to be a part of it.

I could share so many more changes that God has put in our lives over the past three years and how those changes have changed me, but I just wanted to share a few to hopefully encourage any of you going through changes: no matter how great or how small, God will carry you through.  We are now back in the states for a few weeks preparing and packing to head to Mexico to begin serving there. There will be more change.  There will be new places, people, language barriers, problems with crime...life will be full of changes.  As I'm preparing, I am already finding myself anxious sometimes about those changes.  But, I'm thankful for the people God brings my way to remind me of His Words.  When change brings anxiety, I can remember:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." ~~Philippians 4:6-7

I can allow the changes God is going to continue to bring my way to make me anxious or make me able: able to keep my mind focused on Him; able to give Him thanks for these changes and how He will use them to mold me more and more into His likeness; able to bring peace instead of worry and spiritual protection instead of temptation.

Want to know what happened to that timid missionary woman who showed up in Costa Rica and locked herself in her house scared to go anywhere??? ....she ended up taking a bus downtown by herself several times, and calling CR her home.  Change is inevitable.  God is able.  I praise Him that He is able to continually change me.