Flubbs and Faux Pas

Laughter doeth good like a medicine. Learning to laugh at myself has been a big part of my journey of living in a different country and culture. Here are six of my best, worst mistakes.

Hurðir and Hirðir 

One measly vowel separates these two words, yet the meanings are completely different. In Icelandic, hurðir (HER-dtheer) means door.  Hirðir (HEER-dtheer) means shepherd. The Christmas story changes greatly if you substitute one for the other.

The doors were watching over their sheep by night. The angel came and spoke to them while the glory of the Lord shone all around. An angel army came and shouted praise to God in front of the doors making them very afraid. The angel told them to stop being scared and to go find baby Jesus in Bethlehem. After the angels left, the doors talked to each other and then hurried into Bethlehem. After they had found Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, they went all over the place telling everybody about what they had seen and heard. The people who heard the doors were very amazed, of course.

That was my first attempt at the Christmas story in Icelandic.

"Þú, Þú, Önd!" 

Many children have played some variation of the game, "Duck, Duck, Goose!" It´s a fun game that can be played with different age groups and with minimum explanation. A game that could be explained by acting it out was really important when we first arrived. To my surprise and delight, "Duck, Duck, Goose!" was a big hit. The one snag was that I didn´t know the word for goose. I improvised using the pronoun þú (thoo), which means you, as the children went around the circle tapping heads. I knew the word for duck, which is önd (und). I swapped the duck for the goose and the pronoun for the duck. "You, You, Duck!" is still one of our favorite games in Sunday school.

Björn and Bjór

After teaching the children for several Sundays about the creation week, I had a big review game day for my class in Sunday School. The game got a little rambunctious but fun. My husband came in with his older kids toward the end of the game. In an attempt to show off my amazing teaching skills and the clever learning abilities of my class, I ramped it up a little more. Pride goes before a fall. 

I yelled out an item.  The kids yelled back what day God had made that thing.  Each question added to the excitement. It went something like this:

Me: "What day did God make apples?"

Them: "Day three!"

Me: "What day did God make sharks?"

Them: "Day five!"

Me: "What day did God make stars?"

Them: "Day four!"

This went on for several minutes. To their credit, the kids were getting the answers right. To my horror, I asked the next question.

What I thought I asked was, "What day did God make bears?" Bear is björn (byurdn).

What I actually asked was,  "What day did God make BEER?" Yes, I emphasized the word bjór.

What the kids yelled was, "God made BEER!!" 

Sing-song chants of "God made beer!" sounded for several minutes until I was able to get control of the raucous crowd. 

I have learned to keep review game day a little less showy.

Byrja, Bíða, and Biðja

When you have a children's program with games and snacks, you use the words start, wait, and pray quite a bit. They are byrja (bidya), bíða (beetha), and biðja (bithya). It was probably two years before I could keep these words straight.

When it was time to thank the Lord for our snack, I would say, "Ok, children. Let's bow our heads and wait." When I needed them to wait their turn, I would say, "You need to start." Or when we were going to play a game, it was "On your mark, get set, PRAY!" Okay, just for fun, I still sometimes use that last one.

Pils, Pilsner, and Pylsur

We don´t eat out very often but one evening when we were new to the island, I went to the local drive-through. Icelandic hot dogs made from lamb, are truly delicious. When the lady opened the window, I ordered four hot dogs. Anyway, I thought that I did. 

In faltering Icelandic, I said, "I want four pils with everything." 

With a puzzled expression, she said in broken English, "We don´t sell skirts." Oops.

I tried to correct myself with, "I mean I want four pilsner."

She chuckled and asked, "So you want four pilsner beers?" Um, no. Then she said, "Do you want four hot dogs, pylsur?" 

"Yes," I mumbled, red-faced. 

She went back inside. When she returned, she handed me two cigarette carton boxes out the window. After having embarrassed myself ordering skirts and beers, I just took them. To my surprise, the hotdogs were stacked inside. Two fully-loaded dogs fit perfectly in one carton. I paid and took my cigarette-boxed saugages home.

When I went inside, my husband raised a quizical brow in my direction. "Did you decide to take up smoking?" he asked.

"Look," I snarked, "Be happy with your tobacco flavored dogs. I almost accidently brought home four beers for you, me, and the kids to have for dinner."

Disclaimer: *We neither smoke nor drink.*

Pear Soda

Because making cute birthday cakes was always a real challenge for me, I tried to compensate with a favorite dinner, snack, and soda. The kids liked to go to the grocery store and pick out their birthday meal. When our oldest was turning six or seven, he chose pear soda. Sodas come in all different flavors here that we don´t have in the States like mixed fruit, grapefruit, or pomegranate. 

At the party with a few little friends from church, I served chips, my ugly cake, and the bubbly pear soda. The kids really liked the drink, and several asked for more. When there was just a little left, I poured some for a mom that was there and myself. She took a sip and looked at me big-eyed. 

"I think this is alcohol!" she said. "Let me read the bottle."

"But they are not allowed to sell alcohol in the grocery store in Iceland," I replied. 

She shrugged and said, "Well, not hard alcohol. They can sell it like this, though, when it is just a little bit."

Sure enough, those pear flavored bubbles had the tiniest bit of, ahem, zip to them.  Oops.

Disclaimer again, *We don't drink.*

The Calendar

This is the first time that I laughed out loud at myself, a lot, for a long time.

When the kids were younger, there were only a few times that I was able to go somewhere by myself. We shared a car, hubby was in the university learning the language all day, ministry consumed any spare time, etc. On one rare occasion, though, after having lived here for a few years, I got to go to Reykjavik, the capitol by myself to Christmas shop. I was free as a bird, happy as a lark, and living large as I pushed my cart through the mall.

I happened upon a safety display.  There were rescue workers showing children their fire suits and oxygen tanks. They showed them the purpose for the big red axes and the fire extinguishers. The way they were explaining things to the children really impressed me. Since it was nearing the New Year, I decided to purchase one of the calendars. I always keep an Icelandic and an American calendar to keep all of the different holidays straight.

When I purchased the calendar, the gentleman asked me the strangest question.

"Is this for you or for a friend?" he asked.

Confused, I replied, "For me."

He then waggled his eyebrows at me, winked, and asked, "Do you want me to autograph it?"

I thought, "What!? No, your fresh, flirty fireman!" but I just said, "No thanks."

Flustered, I walked away and tossed the calendar into my cart where it landed with the back side up. On the back were miniatures of the picture for each month. Twelve fireman had posed for this calendar. Yes, the Baptist preacher's wife had just bought one of THOSE calendars.

I guffawed at myself. On the way home, I called my husband to share my latest misadventure. He laughed with me, of course.

Disclaimer *I didn't keep it.*

Life is a mix of up and down, good and bad, easy and hard. We all make mistakes. Own them. Laugh about them when possible. Like the Bible says, it's good medicine.

Patrick and Vicki Weimer, in Iceland since 1999