The Racist Missionary

Jonah is an anomaly.

His book is unique among the prophets because it is entirely autobiographical. He did not desire the incredible ministry successes he experienced. God took the initiative to show His grace to the Assyrians by sending them a missionary. Jonah was not merely apathetic about this, he was antipathetic--he did not want that ethnic group to be converted. They were a different skin color, language group, and geography from him; and their culture was vastly different. He wasn't interested in their conversion.

And after ten years on the mission field, I can see that Jonah was not the only missionary to struggle with racist feelings.

What, a racist missionary? Isn't that an oxymoron? How could a racist be a missionary? Well, emotions of bitterness and cynicism towards the people on your field don't come all at once. Missionaries don't ever go to the field thinking that they could even become close to being racist! After all, they've given up everything because of their love for another people group, right? Nevertheless, negative emotions towards the very people you want to love can creep in over time after many adverse culture-shocking experiences. (Look at the results of "culture stress.")

Jonah is a good bad example of NOT loving the people to whom you are sent. Thus Jonah's story is a great starting-place in a biblical discussion of racism. Jonah was "very angry" when God showed mercy to the Ninevites. So God used an object lesson of a quick-growing, then quick-dying gourd, with some gentle questions, followed up with a gentle, insightful rebuke to show Jonah that his hatred towards the Ninevites was wrong.

And God said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd?

And he said, I do well to be angry, even unto death.

Then said the LORD, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night:  And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?

~Jonah 4:9-11

Who are these persons that God is talking about? Who cannot tell the difference between their right and left hands? Isn't it the children? In other words, some litmus tests of whether you are racist or not are the following:

• if you are unable to show love towards people from another ethnicity
• if you wish for genocide including the children
• if you believe that a person from that race cannot be converted, or
• if you believe that all the people in that culture are only bad, thus even the children have no good potential.

I still remember a defining moment for Seth and me as new missionaries. We had just moved to a rural village in South Africa and were visiting neighbors in an attempt to meet them and learn their culture. We came across an old man who had been almost raised by Swiss Presbyterian missionaries who pioneered missions to the Tsonga people. They had sent him to school abroad, and his English was excellent.

Trying to answer his wife's questions as to why we were there, we began evangelizing, assuming that they knew basic ideas of salvation and the Gospel because of their background as staunch Presbyterians. Imagine our surprise when his wife inquired what we meant by "salvation." She queried, "You mean, baptism?" Startled, Seth began expounding the Gospel. Her husband cut us off with an eye-opening statement: "Oh, you'll never get them to understand details like that. These people will never get the details."

The Gospel? Details? Sadly this man was a living example of his own stereotype.

I remember another shocking scene in my first year here. Our landlord came over drunk one night to visit with us. I will never forget him pouring beer on the hood of our pick-up truck for his pet monkey to lap up, while saying, "This chimp is smarter than any of those * blacks."

After years of ministering to a pagan culture, missionaries can get very discouraged from witnessing repeated sinful behaviors. They can get bitter from attacks or disappointments by untrustworthy people. They can become cynical, wondering if fruit is real or how long it'll last this time. Harmful generalizations are made: "These people are all like that. They will never get better."

Missionaries to less civilized people groups eventually have to deal with the question, "Why are these people like that?" When a missionary hits that disillusioned stage of being so frustrated, it seems that two paths lie before him. He can explain the deficiencies he sees in another culture in one of two ways:

He could say that those people are like that because they are inherently inferior. They are simply unable to become an enlightened, Christian culture. He could become like our landlord, bitterly saying that the people have no more hope than animals. In other words, he could become a racist.

We have decided to take the second path, however, which explains stereotypical problems of another race with this answer: The Devil has blinded their culture for so many thousands of centuries and they have had so little common grace given to them, that they need a lot more time and work of the Holy Spirit to reflect Christianity in their culture. (2 Cor. 4:4) In other words, it is Satan we are fighting, not people.

Missionaries need to guard their hearts and thinking about pagan cultures. If you don't believe that cultural sins and deficiencies are strongholds of Satan, and that these are spiritual issues deserving of your empathy, you will become a racist missionary, constantly embittered and frustrated instead of responding with compassion. Because if the answer is not that the Devil has a stronghold in that culture, then the answer is that those people are just inferior, inherently, for centuries. And that is racist.

The Most Successful Ministry Failure Ever

When Seth and I were seeking counsel on whether or not to return to our suddenly-shockingly dangerous mission field, one counselor made some pithy statements that stuck with me; and I've ruminated on them since.

That meeting was quite humbling, because the take-away main point had to do with how unnecessary we are. We really needed convincing on that point! :) When we contemplated leaving Africa, we couldn't get around the "need" for laborers in our field.

Ours is a pioneer mission field. Swiss Presbyterian missionaries laid a wonderful foundation in the last century by translating the entire Bible, translating hymns and inventing a musical notation system for a hymnal, starting schools and hospitals, and building Presbyterian churches. Unfortunately by the '50s,  they were going liberal in their theology and lost the Gospel; and by the '60s, the missionaries were gone.

We, along with our teammates, and a national pastor or possibly two, are the only true churches with a Gospel witness in about 2.2 million Tsonga people in South Africa, and 3.1 million more in Mozambique. Truly the laborers are few! Who else, we wondered, would go through the struggle to learn this African language that had no language school? Learning the language and culture was an investment we weren't going to easily give up.

And we hadn't been "successful" enough yet to leave! Our infant church needed us. It wasn't ready to stand on its own.

But this counselor wanted to make a point even more important than our need for humility (and yes, even he, I think, would concede that our field does "need" laborers), and that is, that our children also needed us--parents, alive and whole, whose eyes could focus on them, and not always be focused on the ministry--in fact, that our children needed us more than the ministry needed us.

I know, this isn't really rocking your world yet, is it? Duh, no brainer. We'd all say our family is more important than ministry. 

But then he mentioned a Scriptural example that gave me a new flash of understanding, that set that truth in a clearer light for me. Are you ready for some easy Bible trivia? See if you can answer this question, the question he posed to us when we were busy arguing for why we were needed in Africa:

Who did Noah take on the ark with him?

Noah's Sacrifice by Jacobo Bassano

The Bible is clear-- "Noah, the eighth person," it says.

By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith. ~Heb. 11:7

Which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water. ~1 Pet. 3:20

And spared not the old world, but saved Noah the eighth person, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood upon the world of the ungodly. ~2 Pet. 2:5

And the Lord said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation. ~Gen. 7:1

And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him, into the ark... ~Gen. 7:7

The new, interesting thought to me was an analysis of Noah's "ministry" successes. Peter called him a "preacher." I've heard some sermons or children's presentations that mention him preaching to the ungodly for over 100 years. Dramatic recordings usually have Noah pausing in the middle of building the ark to preach a sermon to unbelievers in evangelistic 21-century style.

I'm not sure if that preaching was the same as what we think of today when we think of preaching. But at the least, we know that his righteous lifestyle was counter-cultural, and that preached. And his building of the ark, motivated by fear grounded on faith, spoke; that also was counter-cultural, and this "preaching" condemned the world.

And what does he have to show for his evangelistic efforts?

"Nothing," most of us would respond.

And there's the rub, the immediate rebuke: nothing??! Saving his family is nothing?

But I'm pretty sure that if Noah were reporting to supporting churches after twenty years of service, he'd have lost support. If he were trying to raise more support in his 87th year of service on his oh-so-very-needy field, he wouldn't get it! If ministry successes were based on numbers, and let's admit it, we all do assess our ministry successes this way to some extent, we wouldn't support Noah, the eighth person, today. Wow.

Noah's Ark Mural by David Jermann

So was he a failure, then?

Ezekiel implies he was one of the best, listing him in a group of three along with Daniel and Job. And what of Jeremiah, preaching for fifty years, with only three converts mentioned?

No, Noah the eighth person was righteous, and one of the most obvious marks of his righteousness is that his "house" got on the ark with him. In a day when evil abounded, and every imagination of the thoughts of man's heart was only evil continually, Noah saved his family. His family got on the ark with him.

What about you, dear missionaries and preachers of righteousness? Who are you gonna take on the ark with you? It can be so hard to balance the needs of ministry with the needs of family. My husband tried to think through the difficulties of obtaining this balance here.

For those all-out, die-hard missionaries who can sometimes run over people in their zeal, let's get this one point from Noah's example:

In the eyes of many, his "ministry" was a failure; but he saved his family. And God called him righteous. The eighth person was a hero of the faith.

Noah's Daughter-in-Law in the Dovecote by Mary Jane Q. Cross

An Open Letter to the Missionary (Woman) Quitter

When criminals entered our home last December 2nd and attacked our family, our lives changed completely. The obvious, immediate question after the crisis was, "Do we quit being missionaries?"

It was an excruciating question to work through, partially because it was completely unexpected. We had had no thought of leaving the field. My husband's screen saver on his phone when we were dating said, "Go tribal!" Hadn't I known what I was getting into? No, actually! And yes. His heart for the Unreached has defined him, been his core, since I've known him. It seemed there was no avenue forward that didn't involve reconstructing either Seth's or Amy's make-up. We reached out for counsel.

As you may have guessed, especially if you already heard of our situation and were thinking "in our shoes," not many counselors had an easy answer. It would have been wonderful if God had spoken to us in a vision. Most counselors were unwilling and unable to give a certain "yea" or "nay." Understandably so.

What a blessing that most counselors were amazingly supportive. By "supportive," I mean that they understood and articulated that leaving our field was an obvious and valid option, and that we weren't bad Christians to be considering it--that godly Christians have chosen both paths, to leave or to stay.

But a few comments stuck with me memorably--in a negative way--that, in my opinion, made our decision even tougher. They hinted or outright stated that they viewed me as weak or wimpy to even go back to the States for an eight-week visit to think about our future, that I was holding back my husband (because his personality did not struggle with the decision to return to the field even a fraction as much as mine), thus I was unsubmissive and "wearing the pants in the family" (and therefore, my husband had blame for not "leading me" appropriately), that I was not obeying certain Scriptures that encourage risking all for Christ, and that I was not a strong person or missionary or Christian if I couldn't go back.

Well, comments like these (made by people who have not experienced even a quarter of what I have) were not accepted well by a traumatized woman concerned for her traumatized children! And there, in that sentence, may lie part of the answer. Some people cannot empathize fully with a wounded person until they themselves have experienced the humiliation of trials and suffering. I cringe when I remember my naive judgmentalism as a young missionary. Oh, how I've changed now, and eaten my words (rather, thoughts) a hundred times over.

It is true that many leave the field for wrong reasons at the wrong time. And it is true that we do not hear enough encouragement to risk all for Christ. I don't want to take the teeth out of Scriptures like these:

Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

But: Around the time when I was struggling with the fact that I knew that we would be going back to the field, I heard of a missionary woman who was likewise struggling, almost...despairing. And my heart went out to her. She had "put in her time," labored for years on the field, followed her husband to a difficult people, had children in inferior hospitals on the field, and after numerous trials, was beginning to crack under the pressure. I cried for her, someone I'd never met. Why should she, dear timid warrior that she is, be criticized if she needs to come home (America) for the sake of her sanity?

Honestly, I struggled to even word that last paragraph, because I know alpha male theologians who would respond that she shouldn't need that, that if she were responding biblically she could handle this, etc. But I think long-term missionaries understand what I mean, because They've Been There.

So while I truly don't aim to encourage anyone to leave the field, especially for wrong reasons, please understand my desire in this post. I desire simply to offer compassion to that lonely, spent missionary woman who so badly needs to hear compassion, not guilt trips, if she goes home for good or simply for a rest. At other times, I will take the opposing side and encourage perseverance. But for right now I want to simply offer compassion, only compassion, in an open letter to the few missionary women who may be in this situation.

You dear woman,

You've been told so many hurtful things.

It is okay. It is okay to leave the field because you are cracking under the pressure.

Your hair is prematurely graying. You are beaten down by the degrading depravity of your field. Your health is failing. You have forgotten that you used to have an easy laugh and can't remember what it feels like to converse easily with another Christian without weighing every word and its possible miscommunications. And you struggle to list one positive item per every fifty negative things about your field.

You have fought on the front lines of the war for a long time, and you are coming home a wounded soldier. Yes, soldiers wounded in the war receive an honorable discharge. You deserve a medal. Indeed you are a hero! So few people want your job that you are irreplaceable.

God bless you! You tried. You gave your all. You gave beyond your all. You submitted to your husband and raised your children in challenging circumstances. Now channel what remaining energies you have into enduring yet more change, but hopefully a more restful change because of its familiarity. If your coming home allows you to gain the benefits that Jesus got when He "came apart to rest a while," and to continue being a helpmeet to your husband and to keep going in the ministry, though it be no longer foreign, then come. Come home, and continue to follow Christ as well as you can in the place where you are.

You will hear no word of condemnation from me. Only compassion.
Only compassion, dear missionary friend.

Love in Christ,

Amy

Saved by the Mud

I mentioned that rainy season was about to begin here, and last Sunday that was proven correct in classic style. It was raining hard for the second day in a row with a chilly wind. Rainy days are always low attendance days at church. Who likes to get out of bed to trudge somewhere through the rain and muddy roads? We always hope that our church members have grown enough in grace that mud and chilly wet will mean nothing in comparison to being with believers and submitting themselves once again to hear the Word, but every rainy Sunday is another test.

This Sunday we had especially hoped for good attendance, as we were hoping to try a new tactic in the war for souls. We have several regular visitors who haven't committed to following Christ, so we decided to start a 5-week prospective members class in the Sunday School hour just to target these folks and present salvation, baptism, and our church covenant in a clear manner. We had about ten people lined up for the first class, but our spirits were dampened by their apparent drowned attendance.

Really stuck!

Then the other family (we only have one family besides our own in our church that includes husband, wife, and kids--and a car!) got their truck stuck in the mud on the road to church. It took an hour and a half to extract them. The situation became even stickier, or should I say muddier, when we noticed that they had brought first-time visitors with them on this rare Sunday. They were discouraged to have such a setback on the day their visitors came with them. We were worried to start a new class without all of our beloved prospects attending. And all the men were wet, cold, and muddy when we began the service.

Ita vita African. This truly could be an apt description of normal life in Africa. Some discouraging setbacks just when you were hoping to make a good impression; poor attendance for weeks at a time in the rainy season. But God was working all of those seemingly bad events to ordain a private evangelism meeting between me and one of the children in my Sunday School class.

When Mr. N__ got stuck in the mud and all the men and boys went to help, I (with my kids) was left alone with one sweet neighbor girl who has attended my S.S. class and Seth's neighborhood Bible club all year. As I fiddled around setting up church stuff, she came to me and asked shyly, "How does a person go to Hell or to God?"

Seth's Bible club: they learn verses and the catechism (yellow book). She's the girl in the blue tank top, back row, third from the left.

Because of the rain and the car stuck in the mud, I was given an uninterrupted fifteen minutes to show a tweenage girl The Great Exchange from 2 Corinthians 5:21. I love this verse. In English every word but one has one syllable. Yet it encompasses so much with those little words.

For he hath made Him to be sin for us, Who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.

Praise the Lamb slain for sinners! Praise the Creator of the rain and mud who kept distractions away from a child He was busy pulling from the filth of a life lived for sin, at the same time as Seth was pulling a truck out of the mud. She seemed to respond to the Word in faith.

Obviously the mud didn't save her. But in one sense, it did. God used it as a means to give this shy child one-on-one time with her teacher so that she could ask a very important question! Last Sunday, a child was saved by the blood, by the mud.

Seth and I also were saved by the mud in a sense. We were saved from discouragement and ingratitude over the lack of optimal conditions that day. We were reminded that God doesn't need dry roads to do His work and that His plans are wiser than ours.

Once I heard a sermon by R.C. Sproul on 2 Samuel 6 when God struck Uzzah dead for touching the Ark of the Covenant so that it wouldn't fall from the oxcart. I've never forgotten how Sproul mentioned that Uzzah's error was in thinking that his hands were cleaner than the dirt. He thought it would be better for him to touch the ark--he, a sinful creature--than for the ark to fall in the dirt. But the dirt was doing what God made it to do. I thought of that Sunday--the mud was doing what God made it to do. I couldn't be mad at the mud or at God for letting it rain on Sunday. He had a plan even for the mud; and it did what He made it to do, even being an instrument in God's plan of redemption for a child.

When Mr. N__ finally arrived at church, embarrassed and a bit careworn, I greeted him happily. "You may think this was a bad day," I said, "but I am glad you got stuck in the mud!"

My S.S. class quoting Psalm 1 for the church. She's first on the left, back row, of the girls' side.

Still happy, even after scrubbing our family's muddy clothes!

Pictures of Missions

Confession...

I struggled. I was trying to prepare my weekly post for this week, and it just wasn't coming together. I was pressed for time. I was stressed. Then God put on my heart to ask a friend if God had put something on her heart to share on the blog. Sure enough, God had! She had such a passion and desire to share something God had taught her recently and was just waiting for Him to open the door.

What she shared touched my heart, and I hope it touches yours, too.

Missions doesn't always look like what we imagine. No, it's way better.

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The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side of the Ocean

We all tend to think that everyone else has it easier and better than we have. We've noticed this sentiment in some of our church members.

• One young man says he wants to start a church (a noble idea), but not here in the village. He's going to plant a church in __ (some village near a city several hours away--that doesn't speak his mother tongue.) Why not a village closer to home that speaks Tsonga? Because there's such a need there, or it would just be better in some way.
• Another young man decides to take a similar job with similar pay (to the current one) in another city. Why not stay close to his family, his village, and his home church? Oh, that job will be better somehow.
• Another young man says that an internship with a church in the city will better prepare him for rural ministry than the local Bible college started specifically to prepare men for rural ministry. Why? The city has so many more attractions, including preaching in English, etc.
• Young ladies think that getting a cleaning job in the city would be better than staying home and mothering their children.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Change and newness help to make a different position seem better, and sometimes there is some truth to that. Sometimes the other situation genuinely is better.

I remember going back to America for a quick visit in 2011 during America's summertime. The grass was so green, the flowers so colorful! I kept exclaiming, "It's so beautiful! It's so beautiful!" Africa has a beauty of its own, but it is rugged, wild, and untamed; in the parts filled with bush grass and thorny overgrowth, you really have to search for the beauty.

Searching for a bird's nest

Beauty in thorns

This temptation comes often to missionaries. Perhaps it comes to everyone in the ministry, but I can only speak for the missionary. I got to thinking about this because of a recent Facebook discussion in which a BMW asked whether being a missionary wife was essentially the same thing as being a pastor's wife (just in a different field--which obviously makes it totally different! But you get the idea of the question.)

Most BMW responders quickly and confidently pointed out the extra difficulties a missionary wife faces in ministry that a pastor's wife in America wouldn't. But one BMW noted that ministry was actually easier for her in many respects as a missionary wife than it had been as a pastor's wife. She mentioned the squabbles, criticisms, and cliques that she experienced in her American ministry; in contrast to the complete acceptance and love she experienced from the nationals in her host country.

In a difficult or disappointing stretch in ministry, which may occur more frequently than the encouraging times, a missionary may hear of friends ministering in America and think about how easy their ministry would be if they were there. If only I were there, my church would be bigger, better, more like Christ! I would be more appreciated, more respected, and the flock would actually follow my (husband's) advice. We wouldn't have to deal with all this ___ (immorality, apathy, drunkenness, laziness, etc.)

Missionaries can also fall into the foolish trap of comparing fields. If only we were in Missionary Z's field, our ministry would be more successful. They have it much easier because of... It is so much harder to serve here due to the burned-over territory from the prosperity gospel, or the idolatry, or the animism, or the atheism, or whatever, than it would be to serve in their country.

But remember that you don't have the whole picture! Perhaps they also wish to trade places because of their own silent trials.

Yes, some of that thinking may be valid, fair, and true. A few missionaries have shown no qualms in saying they "could never do what you do." I even included a question on this topic on my get-to-know-ya missionary questionnaire for the BMW blog: what makes your field difficult? (Because we all think that our field is the hardest for some reason, and some of those reasons are legitimate.)

But it's not good; it's not lovely; it's not of good report; it's not praise. 



As Thanksgiving and Christmas approach--holidays when many missionaries, especially newbies, are homesick, this grass-is-greener syndrome may pop up. But let's just call it what it is. It's discontent. It's a failure to praise God "in everything." It is bitterness against God for putting you in a place so removed from the comforts of home and then apparently not making you successful there. It's pride, because you compare your successes and failures with another's and can only be content with your situation if you look the best at the end of the comparison.

The grass may truly be greener on the other side of the ocean. And yet it may not. But that's not where you are. And you are commanded to think on praiseworthy things and to praise God in everything--where you are.


 

The Pastor's Paycheck ~ A Prayer Request

My husband has been preaching through 1 Corinthians this year, and yesterday he arrived at the first half of chapter nine in which the apostle Paul challenges the Corinthians over their lack of financial support for him. We deem this lesson crucial to our baby believers as well; yet we are reticent to preach on the topic unless it comes up naturally through the course of expositional preaching, as it did yesterday.

This passage of Scripture is crucial to a baby church plant because, as I explained to my son last night, "If we want to move on to plant other churches, we must make sure this church is strong first and able to stand on its own. And if we want this church to stand on its own, it must be able to pay its own pastor."

We are reticent to preach on this topic for two major reasons:

• the prosperity gospel and
• the people's poverty

The prosperity gospel has burned over much of southern Africa. False pastors, syncretistic churches, and money-making miracle crusades are everywhere in Africa--copying to the extreme the abuses they see on TBN. Every one of those pastors preaches weekly about the tithe or makes big ordeals out of the collection of the offerings and rewards big givers through promises or status symbols. The church is big business over here. In fact, so many of the other churches are like that that we and our church members  simply describe them as "money churches." Thus an obvious, major difference between our church and the prosperity churches is that we DON'T talk a lot about money.

So we feel we must avoid those topics so as to not be joined in a group we consider heretical and detrimental to the Gospel; and when we do address the giving of church members, we sometimes feel that we have to add a lot of disclaimers to enumerate the differences between what we're preaching and what they say.

Poverty is obviously another big problem. How can they be expected to support their pastors when they have barely enough to live on? Would we want to live on that much?

The issue of poverty is complicated by the centuries of vast amounts of aid Africa has received through the years. The Africans get so MUCH welfare and yet seem to feel that it's not enough. So it might not occur to them to live sacrificially and plan a budget in order to pay their pastor. After all, so many needs are met from outside them. Why would this need be met from within them?

So one of the questions Seth asked the church yesterday in his sermon was, "If a church can't support its pastor, is it sinning?" What do you think? Tough question. The answer could certainly be yes; but it could possibly be no as well, if the church were too poor to support its pastor yet tried wholeheartedly to support him more than they supported self-comforts.

There are so many other questions that can be included in this issue. For example, should our poor, small church try to support us with whatever finances they can? At first I said no, because we are church planting missionaries, which is not the same thing as a pastor. But my husband reminded me that the apostle Paul was also a missionary when he assumed the Corinthians should support him.

Please pray for your church planting missionaries around the world, because they cannot leave their churches and begin new works until the churches are selfish, meaning that they have the "Three Selfs":

• Self-supporting
• Self-governing
• Self-propagating

and supporting their pastor includes two of those points. We need a change in their cultures and worldviews to allow for sacrificial giving to their pastor (and to missions). At times this seems like an impossible task indeed, but God can do what seems impossible!

Seeking a Day of Rest

Ministry Mama, when is your day of rest?

Haha! Hoo-hoo! What a joke, you're probably thinking. DAY? Did you say DAY of rest?

The other day I read another missionary lady's Facebook post sharing her great discouragement in the ministry and desire to quit. In typical Facebook mode, I quickly shot back a response something like this: "Take some time to rest and refresh yourself in the Lord. Everything will look better after you've rested from ___ ministry."

Then I wondered at myself. I was giving advice that I rarely have applied personally.

I happen to be married to a turbo-charged Energizer Bunny. He loves to work and constantly introspects about laziness (this is a good thing! Laziness is a common sin of missionaries.) We have often had disagreements discussions in our married life about taking a "day off," what a "day off" constitutes, etc., until we got to the point where he has a generally scheduled self-appointed "day off" which he may use for "work" around the home or just to read a book or write or whatever. But he can't do "ministry" (if possible) on that day.

Our teammate is very similar to my husband (another good thing!) So after years of their wives asking them to slow down one day per week, our teammate asked me recently, "So when do you take a day off?"

That stumped me. How does a missionary housewife and mom take time off? Not even a day, but just a chunk of time?

We are busy with caring for our children, cooking, and housework.

We are doing that in foreign countries where everything takes more time.

On top of that, most of us homeschool our children. That deserves its own line.
Homeschooling is a full-time job.

We are doing all of the above + interruptions of nationals (depending on the culture you are serving).

We can't count shopping or running errands as time off. Often those days can be more stressful than staying home to homeschool the kids on a day with meltdowns (the kids', that is) and a head cold.

And Sunday does not count as a day off. For many missionary women, Sunday can be the most draining work day of the week. You have to think and teach the most important Book in the world in another language. There is no nursery, so you still have to care for your children, (fish those pacifiers out of the dirt, take the toddlers to the outhouse--don't TOUCH anything!, is my 7-year old climbing that fig tree??), and on top of that you are usually the children's Sunday School teacher, "bus ministry" helper for all those kids whose parents don't attend, choir director, cook, sweeper, whatever. After church, you may host church members or visitors for a meal at your house.

Compound all of the above with a personality that tends towards being introverted or spiritual gifting that may not be service or teaching.

Add on a slow spiritual drain because:

• you don't fully hear sermons for years on end because it's in another language or you are busy keeping little ones quietly occupied
• you are not having meaningful quiet time at home (because of distractions)
• and you are constantly giving spiritually--you are sharpening, but no one is sharpening you; you are probably the strongest example of Christianity around.

Well...by now, anyone who is not a missionary mama of many (MMM) is officially categorizing this post as a complaining rant. That's not my point. Up till now I've just been answering potential objections by other MMMs who may smirk at me for bringing up the "day off" topic. I know that there's really no time for a day off. I myself haven't figured out what exactly to do about it.

The Creation of the Sun by Michelangelo

But God took a day off. Jesus went off by Himself to pray and be with His heavenly Father. Whatever your view of the "sabbath" or the Lord's Day, we can still appeal to God's example from the beginning of creation that we were made to rest once in a while. So we need to figure out how we can find time to rest and refresh ourselves in the Lord.

If you've ever been put on bedrest, especially with other small children already under foot, you know that when forced to, an amazing amount of important work or ministries can be put on hold. God does not need a frantic, frazzled Martha counting the half-hour slots in her day to see where she could possibly fit in that new ministry that needs to be done. God prizes the meek and quiet spirit that Mary showed, taking time to sit at Jesus' feet and learn of Him who is meek and lowly in heart. His burden is light.

I have read several blog posts by homeschooling mothers who speak of scheduling breaks or rest times for mama so that she doesn't get burned out. How much more should those thoughts apply to missionary mamas?

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

So missionary mama, please share your thoughts. How have you made time to rest? Do you take a chunk of time daily--maybe two hours each afternoon to nap, read a book, or read your Bible? My friend listens to sermons in her spare time, especially while working in the kitchen. When do you find time to hear another preacher's thoughts in English? Do you take a day off or two afternoons per week, maybe Saturday and Sunday? I realize you still have to cook and maybe do a load of laundry or two, but when do you find time to re-energize personally?

I do think it's important for our longevity in homeschooling and ministry. And if something is important, we prioritize it. So back to my question: how have YOU done this?

That's Life in Africa!

A while ago, I shared a list of questions to ask missionaries; and in fact, I've even made up a questionnaire to ask other missionary women here at Baptist Missionary Women, but then I realized that I've never taken the time to answer them myself. So here are my answers to that questionnaire.

I am Amy Meyers, and I blog at Ita Vita African, which is Latin for "That's life in Africa!" I try to write on missions, whether generally or more specific to our field here in the rural villages of South Africa (like prayer letters or what a typical Sunday looks like for us) on Mondays, which I call Missional Monday. (I explain why I used the term "missional" here.)   I have a not-so-updated categorized list of my favorite posts on missions called Missions Musings.

1. Children (how many? Ages?): We have four children, all born in April: Caleb (7), Colin (5), Callie (3), and Carson (2)
2. Do you homeschool? Name your favorite curriculum that you use (whether just one subject, or an all-in-one): I use a mix of curriculum and lean classical in my philosophy of education, but probably my favorite curriculum specifically is The Story of the World (a 4-volume set on world history written in an engaging manner for grades 1-8), and more generally My Father’s World (more of an all-in-one scheduling history, science, Bible, art, and music), which utilizes Story of the World for some of its history assignments. I have researched quite a bit on homeschooling philosophies as well as reviewed several different curricula choices and am sharing that on my blog as well. Here is what we are using this year.
   
3. Country of service: South Africa
4. How long have you been there? My husband came single in June 2004, and I joined him after our marriage in 2005; I arrived in September.
5. What do you do there? We are pioneering ministry amongst the Tsonga people, so after getting our feet wet and deciding where to live, we started a church called Elim Baptist Church. We also started a little Bible college called Limpopo Bible Institute and have graduated nine men, many of whom are pastoring in Zimbabwe currently. At this point, we have no students, however.
6. Are you learning a language? How is it going? Are you discouraged? Yes, we minister in Xitsonga. We are not yet fluent, but other people consider us so. We can speak fairly well conversationally and translate lessons and sermons into Tsonga. Seth’s accent is much better than mine. In the beginning it was highly discouraging to learn Tsonga, but now we are encouraged. We actually began learning another tribal language at first, Xivenda, which I have lost quite a bit of, but Seth still uses at times.
7. Success: Have you had any encouragement in ministry recently? Can you tell me two or three things that have encouraged you? Today, a young man in our church chose to follow Christ instead of living in immorality. This is a huge struggle for our young people, and therefore, a wonderful victory for his faith. Another encouragement is that our teammates (who do the same work as us in another village down the road) are having their opening service for their new church building this coming Sunday. We are also in a building project, and so it is encouraging to see their work come to completion!
8. Challenges: What is your greatest challenge in ministry? What other difficulties wear you down? Probably the greatest challenge here is the African traditional worldview, which is so opposed to Christianity in general, and specifically to propositional thinking. It takes a long time to teach how to follow the logical steps of Biblical teachings, and further to integrate those truths into their lives and thoughts. Sometimes it seems that everything else (but specifically, their culture) trumps Christianity—and that that is how it will always be. The blindness and darkness of the culture is a drain that sucks our energy and will. The prosperity gospel and charismatic theology is also a huge challenge here.
9. How is your life similar to life in America? South Africa is the richest African country, so there are several cities around the country that would look fairly American to an American visitor. In the cities you can go to grocery stores and buy products to cook almost all of the American recipes you desire (although you will have to cook more from scratch :)), and you can get technological items such as cameras or iPads (though they will be more expensive here). So we eat American foods most of the time, and although our data is limited, we now can even get wifi through cell phone technology. You might be really surprised to find not one, but two!, KFC’s in our own little village! (Since we moved here in 2006, they have built two strip malls in our village, which has become a hub for most of the villages around.)
10. What are some special benefits you or your family experience from where you’re ministering? (or from being missionaries) We pay less for electricity because we live in the village, and until we had to purchase our well, our water was free from the municipality. (Of course, that’s also why we eventually had to buy the well, because the municipal water was highly undependable.) My point is that it’s cheaper to live in the village than to live in a city.  In general missionary children, in spite of the many difficulties they face, grow up with a broader view and knowledge of the world than if they’d stayed in America. We have all learned so much about the world and people, about the Gospel, and our own sinfulness, from being missionaries.
11. What are some positives and negatives of your culture (that you’re ministering to)? Positives: freedom of religion, a general respect for whites (they view us as more educated and able in general), an enjoyment of children, generally friendly and hospitable; they know how to survive on little. Negatives: We have learned that culture is rooted in religion. African traditional religion has nothing to offer a culture. It is permeated with lying, fear and superstition, jealousy, immorality, drunkenness, greed, and laziness of body and mind. Christianity has had almost 2,000 years to change Western culture, but only 100-200 years or even fewer to affect sub-Saharan Africa. It will take much time and prayer to change their culture and worldviews to reflect Christianity instead of a stronghold of Satan.
12. What sins might a missionary be especially tempted with that another Christian in the U.S. might not? This is actually a theme I’d like to cover in more depth soon, but here is a list of sins that missionaries are tempted with especially that my husband and I have come up with: laziness, bitterness, pride, discouragement, foolish planning, inconsideration, and being doctrinally superficial. And the longer I am here, I feel I must add cynicism to the list as well. Being here has brought to light so many personal secret sins that I didn’t fully realize before: anger and selfishness are two examples.
13. What books have you been reading? Do you have any book recommendations? I would like to review more of my favorites on my blog, but haven’t found the time. I’ve got about 6 books reviews over there, including a couple of children’s books. This year I read a novel that was really a biography of John Calvin (Betrayal), which was interesting and spiritually helpful. (I did review that one.) My best book from this year is The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit by Matthew Henry. I'm blogging my way through that on Thursdays. For homeschooling, the most helpful books I’ve read thus far, which I recommend to all newbies, are The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer and 101 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy (which walks you through the different educational philosophies, and then helps you match up your personal philosophy with great curricula that share that philosophy.) My favorite missionary biography so far (so moving!) is The Apostle by John Pollock (on Paul). If you like Christian fantasy such as The Chronicles of Narnia (which is incredible, unbeatable, by the way), I’d recommend a kinda new series for you called The Binding of the Blade by L.B. Graham. There are 5 books in the series, and they are hard to put down once you hit book 3.
14. How can we pray for your people or culture in a general way? Pray that they would be willing and enabled by Christ to stand alone against their culture when needed and to persevere in the faith.
15. How can we pray for your family specifically? That we also would persevere in our love and service to the people here. That Seth and I would be encouraged in our work and in the Lord. That our children would be converted and would find joy and friendship in one another, since they have no close Christian possibilities for friendship here. That we would know how to help our missionary kids handle the pressures of their lives in another culture—when to push them to reach out of themselves more, and when to understand and be gentle with them.

I Know What to Do! (I Think...)

Last week and the week before, I've been sharing three of our prayer letters from the past, which discuss ethical "dilemmas" missionaries sometimes face. I thought I'd share one last letter from two years ago. To be honest, it's my least favorite. But I hope you enjoy it, and perhaps you will recognize some items on the list that you've experienced yourself. I am interested to know if other missionaries have faced these same issues in their countries of service.
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Last year about this time, I sent a list of ethical dilemmas that missionaries might face. Here’s a new slate of challenges. Of course, some of you will think the answers are obvious: last year two different people responded saying that one of the ethical tensions was obvious—unfortunately, they both gave the opposite answer. So, I’d like to ask again that you pray for us to be filled with the skill of thinking correctly in each situation.

1.     Should Christians tithe regardless of their financial circumstances?

If one of your church members lived in a one-room, corrugated iron shack away from his wife and child, and then one day got a $12 piece job, should he tithe on that amount? Give offerings? If he asked you what he should do, (remember he has a little girl and a wife to take care of as well), what Scripture would you counsel him with? Do you tell him to take care of his family because otherwise he has “denied the faith” according to 1 Timothy, or do you tell him to put money in the offering?

2.     Should you teach new converts how to vote?

There are more than a dozen political parties in this country, and very few of them (I know of only two) are pro-life. The most popular ones are socialistic or communistic. Should you spend valuable teaching and instructing time on politics, or stick with the Gospel and issues around sanctification?

3.     Should you pray for unconverted people in their presence?

We’re sitting at the Baloyi home for our weekly Bible study, and it is especially nice to have the father of the home there with us since he was back from work. What prayer requests do the believers have? The 16-year old daughter asks for public prayer for her father’s conversion. Is that unduly embarrassing or is that a good demonstration of evangelistic love?

4.     Should you church discipline or otherwise dismiss church members who are nearly permanently absent because of work?

We haven’t seen the four men on our membership role in months. One of them hasn’t been to a service in two years. They are all away because of work, but they tell me on the phone that there are no churches near them that teach the Gospel. How can I watch for their souls and keep them accountable; and if we can’t do that, in what sense are they members of this body?

5.     Should you give Bibles to people who can’t afford them?

Can’t afford them? What does that mean? It seems like everyone has money for satellite TV and cold drink (Coke). Should I just charge the list price, discount it, or give it free? And if you say, “Discount it. That’s the best of all options.” Then, how much?

6.     Should you use slang in formal settings if that is what communicates?

We’re trying to add enduring traditions to the worldview of those to whom we minister. Sunday afternoons, I am teaching about character, and the women’s Bible study is doing something similar. So, shouldn’t we use the strongest, purest Tsonga rather than the blend of English, Zulu slang that all the young kids are using from TV. But if they don’t know the old, classic Tsonga words should we just use the slang since they understand it? Knowat I’m sayin?

7.     Should you sing nominally Christian songs at a funeral?

Though a majority of people in my village claim to be Christian, I have learned that forms of syncretism are equally prevalent. So when at a funeral I hear the familiar song about Jesus which has as its complete lyrics “There is no one like you; we support ourselves by you,” should I join in to show solidarity or should I remain quiet because even Muslims could sing that song?

8.     Should I take parental oversight of believers who do not have parents or at least do not have Christian parents?

Most of the young people in our church do not have dads at home or have never known their fathers. Should I take the initiative to insert myself into their lives to guide them in ways that a father would? Or, should I teach father-like counsel from the pulpit? Does a dad’s counsel always have to a Scripture verse, or can I sometimes just give good advice about life? For example, “You should work really hard to learn English now, so that you will be able to get a job in the future.”

9.     Should you give new Christians jobs in church right away or wait until they prove faithful?

They’ve given their testimony and are prepared to be baptized. Now, should I find a place for them to serve, or is that being foolishly hasty?

10.  Should missionaries restrain the size of their family so that missions dollars can be used to send more families with less children?

This is probably the most controversial issue, and most people would probably leave it to the missionary. Maybe they’re right. But maybe not. Furlough, saving for college, insurance, and the rest can be very expensive. Should the churches just offer a fixed amount, or may the missionary raise more support if he can’t keep the same standard of living with 4 (or 6 or 8) that he had with 2? And what about all the missionaries running on the treadmill of deputation?

Having worked through these issues, I have a position on most of them. But it’s profitable for God’s people to think clearly in applying Scripture to life, so I hope this letter will serve to that end. Your comments and advice are always welcome. Please continue to pray for us and our church. 

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Some of these are personal and perhaps a bit touchy. I'm not trying to start debates or endless questions. Instead I hoped to foster a familial spirit as you perhaps will recognize questions that you and your families have mulled over during a meal and wondered if other people felt the same!

What to Do, What to Do?

Last week I showed you our recent prayer letter, which has become almost an annual edition, showing ethical "dilemmas" missionaries sometimes face. I thought I'd share a few more from our first letter. I am so interested to know if other missionaries have faced these same issues in their countries of service.
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Since arriving in South Africa, I have been stretched in ways that I didn’t expect. Probably the most unexpected was the swirl of ethical decisions that I found confronting me at one time or another. So here is a top ten list of situations that I have had to face as a missionary. This list is calculated to motivate you to pray for us as well as other missionaries that we would be discerning, reflective, and Scriptural at all times for the sake of the Gospel.

1.     Should I give people a lift if I know they are going to a false church?

When driving the roads in SA, it is common to see people asking for a ride. We have a pickup truck that could easily take them. But many of the churches here love money and are therefore enemies of the gospel. They also encourage their members to wear uniforms so I can often tell which hitchhiker goes to which church. If I give them a lift, will they think I am endorsing their idolatrous religion, or will they see my love and know that my church is different?

2.     Should I evangelize a woman if she is the only adult home?

Now, rarely do I do Bible studies inside homes. Typically, we sit outside the home in the yard area. But my regular pattern of evangelism is 4-8 weeks of Bible studies in Romans. Does it send a bad message to people passing by if they see the pastor return multiple weeks to sit outside if there’s only a woman and her two children listening? Or, should I merely invite the woman to church if I see there is no one else there?

3.     Should I give a generous offering of my salary to our churchplant?

Like most churches we want to meet in a building with musical instruments and multiple rooms. If I tithed to our church with its present weekly offerings of about $3 would it create dependency and irresponsibility or would it be a tool for evangelism and churchplanting?

4.     Should I baptize a young person (child) who has given a testimony of salvation, but has not shown Christian maturity?

We often have youth with unsaved family members visit our church. Once they profess Christ, should they be immediately baptized in hopes that their baptism would encourage them to grow, or should they wait lest they quit their new church and give the name of Christ a bad testimony in the community?

5.     May I spend money on my family and personal standard of living even if it is above those in my village? What if it is very above? How much do I let them see?

When coming from America, it is difficult not to have more discretionary spending than the average person in our village. If I have a higher standard of living does that make them marvel at the power of the Christian worldview to create wealth or does that make them greedy of western money and afraid to approach me about the gospel? At what point, if ever, could my family’s western lifestyle hinder people from being converted?

6.     How harshly should I handle believers who fall into sin?

No one in our church has a heritage of Christianity. Everyone is a first generation Christian. None of them went to a Christian school or college. Should I be more patient with them than I would be with a US church member when they fall into sin, or should church discipline be equally strict in all cultures?

7.     Should I address cultural issues that are not clearly sin, but may not be consistent with a Christian worldview?

Littering. Receiving handouts from the government. Families not eating together. The Bible does not explicitly say these are sin, but a consistently Christian perspective will avoid them. If they are common in a culture should a pastor address them?

8.     Should I give jobs to church members?

In a country with 30%+ unemployment living in a village where nearly every adult would like a job, should “rich” missionaries employ church members? Will it communicate love or hamper the church’s ability to stand on its own? More importantly, will jobs attract unconverted people who would be glad to act Christian for a salary?

9.     Should I keep doing Bible studies at a person’s home if they have shown very little initiative?

Jesus told his disciples to shake the dust of their feet if the village would not hear them. If the family isn’t saved after my 4-8 weeks of Romans Bible studies should I leave and go somewhere else or should I stay if there’s even a little interest? How can you tell when to move on?

10.  Should I use expensive books, computers, and handouts to make my sermons as good as possible if I know that the next national pastor will not be able to keep the same standard?

Our people have greatly benefited from my library as it has wormed its way into my teaching and preaching. Will the people develop a taste for a style of preaching that the next pastor may not be able to give simply because he can’t afford Harold Hoehner on Ephesians?

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Have you experienced similar quandaries, dear missionary friend? We'd love to hear your thoughts!