Gospel Centered Ministry and the Missionary Woman

It happens to all of us probably more often than we’d like to admit: we lose sight of the main thing—the gospel—while exhausting ourselves with peripheral activities.  How can missionary women keep the gospel central to our lives and ministries, especially if others have alternative ideas?

We know that the definition of the gospel is the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The Good News is that Jesus died for the sins of people—personally—and that putting one’s faith in His propitiation will save a person. Because of the resurrection, there’s the promise of eternal life with Jesus. It doesn’t get better than that!

There are so many tugs on us! Can you do this? Can you help me with this? You’re an expert; add this to your duties. Can you serve on this committee, begin a Bible club in a new area, organize this function? And, unfortunately, most of us feel that adding to our ministry is always good, so we take this on and that on, and we begin to overwhelm our lives with good things—which become bad things. It’s so easy to say yes and later stumble under the burden.

How can we change our ministry perspective? How can we be more discerning when a thousand ministry-related things are tugging at us?

Let me offer some ideas that might help:

1. Take about a half hour to analyze what you’re presently doing. (If you don’t have a free half hour, you know you have a problem! Take a half hour off, anyhow.) Write out a list of your regular activities. You can include them all: cooking, cleaning, meetings, personal  and car care, ministry activities, work commutes, teaching, etc. Mention any deadlines you might routinely have (financial reports, blog posts, book writing, business deadlines, etc.). Assess what’s going on in your life right now.

2. Review your ministry description. I like to use the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20), but you can use a sentence or quote you’ve written out or another verse. What is your purpose in your ministry? Make sure this is very clear in your mind.

3. Now, decide:

• Which of the activities or deadlines that you wrote down overwhelm you (if any)?
• Which of your normal activities do nothing to further the spread of the gospel?
• Do you need to revise any activity’s focus, so that it’s more effective in actually furthering the gospel?
• Do your normal activities speak Truth into other lives? (Yes, your husband and children count!) Analyze if you have regular contact with unsaved people and how your contact might open up opportunities to share the gospel with them. 
• Are you so activity/service oriented you’ve lost a gospel focus? (It’s easy to do!)
• Do you have room to add anything? If so, what kinds of ministries and activities do you think you could add?
• Do you need to cut back? (I’ve done this, and I need to do it again.) If so, where are your priorities? Which activities are more important?
• Ask for help. Ask your husband or team leader’s opinion. You’ll doubtless be surprised at the answers they give you. Be humble enough to seriously listen and consider what they say.

Many years ago, people would ask a dear missionary friend about what his wife did on the field. His answer? “She’s my wife.” This lady homeschooled their kids, made all kinds of connections with neighbors, and was constantly sharing the gospel. But, her main ministry was being there for her husband, cooking, cleaning, mothering, and being a wife. That is a valuable calling.

If you’re not married, I believe it’s harder in some ways, because everyone wants a piece of you. You are “free,” which often means you don’t even have time to breathe.

Whatever kind of ministry you’re a part of, make sure your own life is gospel propelled and gospel centered. If you need to say no, do so. If you need to be more evangelistic, do so. If you can add or subtract, make wise decisions. Ask the Lord to guide your thinking and your steps. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all (missionary women) liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given (James 1:5, my application).

Consider these Bible passages:

• The steps of a (missionary woman) are ordered by the LORD: and He delighteth in (her) way (Psalm 37:23, applied).
• NUN. Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105).
• Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).
• But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day (Proverbs 4:18).

The next time someone asks you to add something to your plate, pause to pray for wisdom, analyze the request in the light of the gospel, and then make a wise decision.

God bless you!

by Lou Ann Keiser, in Basque Spain since 1984

An Open Letter to the Missionary (Woman) Quitter

When criminals entered our home last December 2nd and attacked our family, our lives changed completely. The obvious, immediate question after the crisis was, "Do we quit being missionaries?"

It was an excruciating question to work through, partially because it was completely unexpected. We had had no thought of leaving the field. My husband's screen saver on his phone when we were dating said, "Go tribal!" Hadn't I known what I was getting into? No, actually! And yes. His heart for the Unreached has defined him, been his core, since I've known him. It seemed there was no avenue forward that didn't involve reconstructing either Seth's or Amy's make-up. We reached out for counsel.

As you may have guessed, especially if you already heard of our situation and were thinking "in our shoes," not many counselors had an easy answer. It would have been wonderful if God had spoken to us in a vision. Most counselors were unwilling and unable to give a certain "yea" or "nay." Understandably so.

What a blessing that most counselors were amazingly supportive. By "supportive," I mean that they understood and articulated that leaving our field was an obvious and valid option, and that we weren't bad Christians to be considering it--that godly Christians have chosen both paths, to leave or to stay.

But a few comments stuck with me memorably--in a negative way--that, in my opinion, made our decision even tougher. They hinted or outright stated that they viewed me as weak or wimpy to even go back to the States for an eight-week visit to think about our future, that I was holding back my husband (because his personality did not struggle with the decision to return to the field even a fraction as much as mine), thus I was unsubmissive and "wearing the pants in the family" (and therefore, my husband had blame for not "leading me" appropriately), that I was not obeying certain Scriptures that encourage risking all for Christ, and that I was not a strong person or missionary or Christian if I couldn't go back.

Well, comments like these (made by people who have not experienced even a quarter of what I have) were not accepted well by a traumatized woman concerned for her traumatized children! And there, in that sentence, may lie part of the answer. Some people cannot empathize fully with a wounded person until they themselves have experienced the humiliation of trials and suffering. I cringe when I remember my naive judgmentalism as a young missionary. Oh, how I've changed now, and eaten my words (rather, thoughts) a hundred times over.

It is true that many leave the field for wrong reasons at the wrong time. And it is true that we do not hear enough encouragement to risk all for Christ. I don't want to take the teeth out of Scriptures like these:

Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

But: Around the time when I was struggling with the fact that I knew that we would be going back to the field, I heard of a missionary woman who was likewise struggling, almost...despairing. And my heart went out to her. She had "put in her time," labored for years on the field, followed her husband to a difficult people, had children in inferior hospitals on the field, and after numerous trials, was beginning to crack under the pressure. I cried for her, someone I'd never met. Why should she, dear timid warrior that she is, be criticized if she needs to come home (America) for the sake of her sanity?

Honestly, I struggled to even word that last paragraph, because I know alpha male theologians who would respond that she shouldn't need that, that if she were responding biblically she could handle this, etc. But I think long-term missionaries understand what I mean, because They've Been There.

So while I truly don't aim to encourage anyone to leave the field, especially for wrong reasons, please understand my desire in this post. I desire simply to offer compassion to that lonely, spent missionary woman who so badly needs to hear compassion, not guilt trips, if she goes home for good or simply for a rest. At other times, I will take the opposing side and encourage perseverance. But for right now I want to simply offer compassion, only compassion, in an open letter to the few missionary women who may be in this situation.

You dear woman,

You've been told so many hurtful things.

It is okay. It is okay to leave the field because you are cracking under the pressure.

Your hair is prematurely graying. You are beaten down by the degrading depravity of your field. Your health is failing. You have forgotten that you used to have an easy laugh and can't remember what it feels like to converse easily with another Christian without weighing every word and its possible miscommunications. And you struggle to list one positive item per every fifty negative things about your field.

You have fought on the front lines of the war for a long time, and you are coming home a wounded soldier. Yes, soldiers wounded in the war receive an honorable discharge. You deserve a medal. Indeed you are a hero! So few people want your job that you are irreplaceable.

God bless you! You tried. You gave your all. You gave beyond your all. You submitted to your husband and raised your children in challenging circumstances. Now channel what remaining energies you have into enduring yet more change, but hopefully a more restful change because of its familiarity. If your coming home allows you to gain the benefits that Jesus got when He "came apart to rest a while," and to continue being a helpmeet to your husband and to keep going in the ministry, though it be no longer foreign, then come. Come home, and continue to follow Christ as well as you can in the place where you are.

You will hear no word of condemnation from me. Only compassion.
Only compassion, dear missionary friend.

Love in Christ,

Amy

That's Life in Africa!

A while ago, I shared a list of questions to ask missionaries; and in fact, I've even made up a questionnaire to ask other missionary women here at Baptist Missionary Women, but then I realized that I've never taken the time to answer them myself. So here are my answers to that questionnaire.

I am Amy Meyers, and I blog at Ita Vita African, which is Latin for "That's life in Africa!" I try to write on missions, whether generally or more specific to our field here in the rural villages of South Africa (like prayer letters or what a typical Sunday looks like for us) on Mondays, which I call Missional Monday. (I explain why I used the term "missional" here.)   I have a not-so-updated categorized list of my favorite posts on missions called Missions Musings.

1. Children (how many? Ages?): We have four children, all born in April: Caleb (7), Colin (5), Callie (3), and Carson (2)
2. Do you homeschool? Name your favorite curriculum that you use (whether just one subject, or an all-in-one): I use a mix of curriculum and lean classical in my philosophy of education, but probably my favorite curriculum specifically is The Story of the World (a 4-volume set on world history written in an engaging manner for grades 1-8), and more generally My Father’s World (more of an all-in-one scheduling history, science, Bible, art, and music), which utilizes Story of the World for some of its history assignments. I have researched quite a bit on homeschooling philosophies as well as reviewed several different curricula choices and am sharing that on my blog as well. Here is what we are using this year.
   
3. Country of service: South Africa
4. How long have you been there? My husband came single in June 2004, and I joined him after our marriage in 2005; I arrived in September.
5. What do you do there? We are pioneering ministry amongst the Tsonga people, so after getting our feet wet and deciding where to live, we started a church called Elim Baptist Church. We also started a little Bible college called Limpopo Bible Institute and have graduated nine men, many of whom are pastoring in Zimbabwe currently. At this point, we have no students, however.
6. Are you learning a language? How is it going? Are you discouraged? Yes, we minister in Xitsonga. We are not yet fluent, but other people consider us so. We can speak fairly well conversationally and translate lessons and sermons into Tsonga. Seth’s accent is much better than mine. In the beginning it was highly discouraging to learn Tsonga, but now we are encouraged. We actually began learning another tribal language at first, Xivenda, which I have lost quite a bit of, but Seth still uses at times.
7. Success: Have you had any encouragement in ministry recently? Can you tell me two or three things that have encouraged you? Today, a young man in our church chose to follow Christ instead of living in immorality. This is a huge struggle for our young people, and therefore, a wonderful victory for his faith. Another encouragement is that our teammates (who do the same work as us in another village down the road) are having their opening service for their new church building this coming Sunday. We are also in a building project, and so it is encouraging to see their work come to completion!
8. Challenges: What is your greatest challenge in ministry? What other difficulties wear you down? Probably the greatest challenge here is the African traditional worldview, which is so opposed to Christianity in general, and specifically to propositional thinking. It takes a long time to teach how to follow the logical steps of Biblical teachings, and further to integrate those truths into their lives and thoughts. Sometimes it seems that everything else (but specifically, their culture) trumps Christianity—and that that is how it will always be. The blindness and darkness of the culture is a drain that sucks our energy and will. The prosperity gospel and charismatic theology is also a huge challenge here.
9. How is your life similar to life in America? South Africa is the richest African country, so there are several cities around the country that would look fairly American to an American visitor. In the cities you can go to grocery stores and buy products to cook almost all of the American recipes you desire (although you will have to cook more from scratch :)), and you can get technological items such as cameras or iPads (though they will be more expensive here). So we eat American foods most of the time, and although our data is limited, we now can even get wifi through cell phone technology. You might be really surprised to find not one, but two!, KFC’s in our own little village! (Since we moved here in 2006, they have built two strip malls in our village, which has become a hub for most of the villages around.)
10. What are some special benefits you or your family experience from where you’re ministering? (or from being missionaries) We pay less for electricity because we live in the village, and until we had to purchase our well, our water was free from the municipality. (Of course, that’s also why we eventually had to buy the well, because the municipal water was highly undependable.) My point is that it’s cheaper to live in the village than to live in a city.  In general missionary children, in spite of the many difficulties they face, grow up with a broader view and knowledge of the world than if they’d stayed in America. We have all learned so much about the world and people, about the Gospel, and our own sinfulness, from being missionaries.
11. What are some positives and negatives of your culture (that you’re ministering to)? Positives: freedom of religion, a general respect for whites (they view us as more educated and able in general), an enjoyment of children, generally friendly and hospitable; they know how to survive on little. Negatives: We have learned that culture is rooted in religion. African traditional religion has nothing to offer a culture. It is permeated with lying, fear and superstition, jealousy, immorality, drunkenness, greed, and laziness of body and mind. Christianity has had almost 2,000 years to change Western culture, but only 100-200 years or even fewer to affect sub-Saharan Africa. It will take much time and prayer to change their culture and worldviews to reflect Christianity instead of a stronghold of Satan.
12. What sins might a missionary be especially tempted with that another Christian in the U.S. might not? This is actually a theme I’d like to cover in more depth soon, but here is a list of sins that missionaries are tempted with especially that my husband and I have come up with: laziness, bitterness, pride, discouragement, foolish planning, inconsideration, and being doctrinally superficial. And the longer I am here, I feel I must add cynicism to the list as well. Being here has brought to light so many personal secret sins that I didn’t fully realize before: anger and selfishness are two examples.
13. What books have you been reading? Do you have any book recommendations? I would like to review more of my favorites on my blog, but haven’t found the time. I’ve got about 6 books reviews over there, including a couple of children’s books. This year I read a novel that was really a biography of John Calvin (Betrayal), which was interesting and spiritually helpful. (I did review that one.) My best book from this year is The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit by Matthew Henry. I'm blogging my way through that on Thursdays. For homeschooling, the most helpful books I’ve read thus far, which I recommend to all newbies, are The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer and 101 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy (which walks you through the different educational philosophies, and then helps you match up your personal philosophy with great curricula that share that philosophy.) My favorite missionary biography so far (so moving!) is The Apostle by John Pollock (on Paul). If you like Christian fantasy such as The Chronicles of Narnia (which is incredible, unbeatable, by the way), I’d recommend a kinda new series for you called The Binding of the Blade by L.B. Graham. There are 5 books in the series, and they are hard to put down once you hit book 3.
14. How can we pray for your people or culture in a general way? Pray that they would be willing and enabled by Christ to stand alone against their culture when needed and to persevere in the faith.
15. How can we pray for your family specifically? That we also would persevere in our love and service to the people here. That Seth and I would be encouraged in our work and in the Lord. That our children would be converted and would find joy and friendship in one another, since they have no close Christian possibilities for friendship here. That we would know how to help our missionary kids handle the pressures of their lives in another culture—when to push them to reach out of themselves more, and when to understand and be gentle with them.

Loving Others as Christ Commands

"Jesus saith unto him,

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 

This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

Matthew 22:37-39

My husband has been preaching on the words of Christ the past few weeks.  Recently he focused on these verses, mainly the second - Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.  This afternoon I came across this blog post - How Can We Possibly Love as God Commands.

Is it possible to love as God commands?

"Jesus beheld them, and said unto them,

With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." 

Matthew 19:26

So, Christ tells us to love God with all our heart, and to love our neighbour as we love ourselves.   This seems like a difficult task.  But a few chapters later He tells us with God all things are possible.

Can we love someone who has hurt us?

Can we love someone who has talked badly about us?

Can we love someone who has physically hurt us?

Can we love someone who has no desire to love back?

Can we love someone who is unlovable?

We're not told to tolerate them, we're told to love them.  From the human perspective, we put our guard up and say, "no way!"   When we are hurt by someone, it's easy to put up the walls of protection to be sure we're not hurt again.  But this isn't what Christ wants us to do.   He wants us to turn the other cheek, to go the extra mile.

 "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.  And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.  And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.  Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.  Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;"  Matthew 5:39-44

We read these red letter words, we know they belong to Christ, but do we obey?  James 1:22 tells us
"But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only..."  The Lord has been working in my heart regarding this topic.  I pray that He will help me to love those that hurt me, those that are unlovable, those that talk badly about me, and those that have no desire to love back. I am going to chose to love, not just tolerate, but to love as Christ loves, because with God all things are possible.

How about you?  Do you find some people unlovable?  Will you join me in choosing to love them?

After all, God loves us, even when we're unlovable.

30 Years in Spain!

I thought it would be so interesting for us to have some in-real-life missionaries answer those "Good Questions to Ask Missionaries" that I posted here a while ago. That way, you can compare fields a little bit and understand what missions ministry looks like all over the world. What difficulties are specific to a certain continent or culture? Perhaps you can apply this information to pray for other missionaries in a similar field to the lady being interviewed.

I will add that two of the questions are so interesting that I'm hoping to compile several responses to them and put them all into a separate post later on. Stay posted! 

Today, meet Lou Ann Keiser, a wonderful contributor here at the BMW blog. She blogs at In the Way, and her favorite post on missions at her blog is "Do You Know Your Missionaries? Eight Ideas." Hop on over there for some great eight ideas! :)

1.    How many children do you have? What ages? Two, both married and parents of our grandsons. Becky is almost 31, and David is almost 28. Both of our kids teach in Christian schools. Becky is an elementary school teacher, and David and his wife teach on college level. David and his family serve in Puerto Rico.

2.    Do you homeschool? Name your favorite curriculum that you use (whether just one subject, or an all-in-one): I homeschooled 16 years and lived to tell about it! Actually, I loved it about 95% of days. We used Bob Jones University Press materials back when they were heavy books and notebooks, and I made up the tests. There are pros and cons to any curriculum. I felt that their pros were in teaching thinking skills and the link (especially in high school) between history and literature. Brilliant! The cons were in math and science, but thankfully, the texts we used have been revamped, now.

3.    Country of service: Spain, Basque region

4.    How long have you been there? Thirty years.

5.    What do you do there? We are church planters and all that goes with that. My husband and another missionary started our church in 1994. It’s the Iglesia Bautista Bíblica del Puerto in Rentería, Guipúzcoa.

6.    Are you learning a language? How is it going? Are you discouraged? You never quit learning, but thankfully, the hard part is over, and we feel very much at home in Spanish.

7.    Success: Have you had any encouragement in ministry recently? Can you tell me two or three things that have encouraged you? I am encouraged every week by a new believer in our church. I have weekly Bible studies with her one-on-one. Every time, she makes a statement that is so profoundly grateful to God in a specific way. She blesses me!

8.    Challenges: What is your greatest challenge in ministry? What other difficulties wear you down?  Our greatest challenge is the spiritual apathy of the people. Most here in this region do not believe in God. It is hard to start sharing the gospel with people who don’t believe God exists and believe even less that the Bible is God’s Word. Probably the second most difficult thing is the party mentality. People live for pleasure. The third would be that most new believers come with lots of baggage, specifically addictions (smoking, drugs, drinking, porn, immorality, gambling, etc.). We deal with a lot of things like that.

9.    How is your life similar to life in America? Well . . . we have electricity, sleep on comfortable beds, have normal appliances, and there’s a roof over our heads. We speak mostly in English at home. The differences are many more than the similarities. When they call this the “Old World” and the States the “New World,” they’re not kidding!

10. What are some special benefits you or your family experience from where you’re ministering? (or from being missionaries) We feel very strongly that it was a benefit for our children to grow up with a broad worldview. They spoke two languages naturally, and they learned French as well. They got to travel to France—we live close to France—many times and got to be with people from many different nationalities. I believe it was important for them to grow up with a ministry background. They did everything with us, together as a family. Another positive is the beauty of the villages and countryside here. When the sun actually comes out, there’s no place more green or beautiful than the Basque Country. We love the history here, and the feeling of hundreds-of-years-old roots.

11. What are some positives and negatives of your culture (that you’re ministering to)? Positives: The people are friendly and helpful. Even when we were struggling with the language, the people helped us in all kinds of ways. They didn’t mind that we couldn’t talk well. Between sign language, drawings, and our limited language, they struggled to help. You don’t find that everywhere! Another positive is the Basque culture. It is thousands of years old, and it’s preserved. They have their own music, folk dances, food (yummmm!), customs, architecture, language, and sports. It is unique and wonderful. We minister to many different culture groups in our church. We feel it adds a richness to the body. Negatives: sin.

12. What sins might a missionary be especially tempted with that another Christian in the U.S. might not? I think temptations are worldwide. Sin is more open here; that’s all.

13. What books have you been reading? Do you have any book recommendations? I read a huge variety of books. At present, I’m reading Hiking Through: One Man’s Journey to Peace and Freedom on the Appalachian Trail by Paul Stutzman. For book recommendations, please see my blog. I have a tab at the top with many honest book reviews and recommendations. There’s another tab for Bible study reviews.

14. How can we pray for your people or culture in a general way? Pray for open hearts.

15. How can we pray for your family specifically? Godly wisdom and physical strength.

The Many Jobs of a Missionary ~ Shepherd

"Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches." ~Paul

What minister cannot relate to this verse? We may not relate to all of Paul's list in the prior verses summarized in "beside those things that are without"; we may not relate to the word "all"; but the word "care"--that is a weight that those in the ministry know.

Last year I shared some of that weight in my meditation on the failings of one young person in our church. (I shared that here 2 weeks ago.) December to January for our ministries here seem fatal at times to the spiritual growth of many of our young people. We have few adults in the church, so we often concentrate our hopes and efforts on a number of teenagers in our church, who are faithful regardless of parents' lack of spiritual influence on their lives. We hope that "getting them young" will help them to be solid church members as they grow older. About now is the time when we should be seeing some of this glorious hoped-for fruit, as many of those who were teens when we began the church are now entering into adulthood.

But alas, as they get older, the temptations also get stronger--more adult-like. This last month, I might have written that meditation a few times over. Many of our youth have fallen into different sins--fornication, drunkenness, disrespect to parents, lying, having an unbelieving boyfriend or girlfriend.

In fact, at times I have to remind myself to still feel the "care" of the church, to not be weary in well-doing. I have to fight against the temptation to not care anymore about people's failures or to be cynical when I see spiritual growth, to not think when someone professes Christ, "Well, we'll see..." But after numerous failures, you feel protective for your heart against great excitement, because then the surprising plummet into discouragement can be long.

While writing this, I just received a text message from a former church member who recently had a baby out of wedlock, asking to restore her relationship (I'm not sure to what degree) to the church. Before that, I was meeting with a current teen church member to discuss lack of church attendance because of several issues of unsavory character over the Christmas school break. Before both of those cases, in the last two months, we had more than a handful of similar counseling sessions with other church members.

So for these latter two cases, I wanted to ignore them.

"Oh Lord, can't I please go hide in a book for a while and forget scraping my shins on dark, treacherous mountain passes trying to rescue another trapped lamb?"

"Lord, please, I already filled my quota for visitation this month! I'm trying to improve at reaching out to the women, but did you have to send five my way at once?"

"Lord, I already visited three others and sat in on sessions with others. I've already heard of the failings of too many this season. Can't I let this one go? I'm tired. I'm feeling lazy. (And they're willfully disobedient.) Can't I just let this one come back to church when she wants without having to be proactive to try to warn her from her way?"

And sometimes, you might even get the impression that the flock thinks, "What are you all worked up for? What are you hurt about? You chose this job. [especially missionaries] We didn't ask you to be here. And anyway, you're just a white person. You don't understand our culture."

So do we give up?

Of course not. What a futile question. Paul, who had the care of several churches, also said, "Therefore I endure all things for the elect's sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory."

And aren't you glad for the parable of Christ, the Good Shepherd, how he went seeking for the lost lamb and called others to rejoice with Him when He found it? Nowhere in that parable does He complain that He's had to do this before, in fact, too many times lately (99)! Will He always have to do this?

Yes. We will always have this job. Because we have been given a gift from our Heavenly Father: the opportunity to care for His church--the one He loved so much that He gave Himself for it to wash it clean.

Others have their weaknesses. We have ours. "Who is weak, and I am not weak?" And one weakness we shepherds need to watch out for is thinking too highly of ourselves, and thus, losing patience and care for others with their burdens.

"But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another."

And let us not be weary, fellow shepherds, brothers and sisters in Christ, in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Malaria and Worry

Here is an experience we had last year. I felt it was a good picture of the emotions missionaries sometimes have.

_____________________________________

Last Saturday night we took Callie (my daughter of 18 months at the time) to the hospital to get tested for malaria. Her test was negative, thank God! Following are the factors that caused us to worry for her sake:

We had just spent a short holiday in a low-risk malaria region, but had to leave early in order to preach for the funeral of a neighbor of ours. She actually died of malaria, and her baby was in the hospital the week of her funeral to recuperate from malaria as well.

Some missionary friends of ours announced that they are leaving their field of service (in Africa) because of malaria and its effects on their toddler.

Then last Saturday Callie got a fever that soared and wouldn’t come down, along with some stomach trouble.

I would normally treat her with Tylenol and wait a couple of days to see if she healed on her own, but the conjunction of these events worried me. We’ve been told before that malaria is not a problem in South Africa, except for select few areas, which we’ve been told do not include our village. But we had been out of our village on holiday near the border of Zimbabwe.

I researched a bit on the internet about malaria and its symptoms, as well as malaria regions in South Africa, and decided to call the doctor. She told me that we actually can get malaria in our villages; and if I was concerned, the only way to know for sure was to do a blood test. This would be considered an emergency, and she would run the test as soon as we could get to the hospital.

We decided to have the test done, though it was almost her bedtime, and my husband needed to brush up his sermon for the next day. Would I normally make that decision if all of these events hadn’t lined up just so? Probably not. But I was worried.

I wonder if my worry was sinful. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

“Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

On the other hand, I talk to myself, believing that I took the course of common sense. It’s not “worry” to take precautions with your child’s health—especially if you believe it could affect your future in missions! I’ve been told I’m a pessimist (translate—“worrier”); I respond that I’m a realist. ;) My husband is an optimist.

Does believing that God works out all things for good to those who love Him mean that we don’t work with all of our might to prevent those bad things from happening (that will eventually be worked out for our good)? Does trusting in the Lord with all of our heart mean, as the prosperity preachers prevalent in our area say, that if we have enough faith, bad things won’t happen, or they will be taken care of/healed, etc.? Obviously not.

But I wonder if I could see the truth in my own heart, how much of my heart was filled with what percentage of these two courses. I doubt I would have changed my decision. I’m glad I know for sure that she is not endangered right now by malaria. But did I sin in my heart—in my emotions? How much of my heart was filled with fear for my baby, fears and doubts about the unknown, and lack of trust in our loving Father’s sovereign hand truly working all things together for our good?

Jonathan Edwards said, “Resolved to examine carefully and constantly what that one thing in me is which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God, and so direct all my forces against it.” I can act for my baby’s good health, but I must do so with unshakeable assurance that God’s ways are best.

Sooo tired.

On vacation in a baobab tree.

Training Missionaries During Survey Trips

I posed a question to a group of missionary women recently. The responses I got were wonderful!

My husband and I were blessed in that when we were on our two-week survey trip, we stayed with some veteran missionaries who intentionally made it a training period. They taught us an enormous amount of practical things! Our first year has been less traumatic and overwhelming because of this training. So, with this in mind, I asked these ladies, "What would you teach a new missionary while they were on their survey trip?" 

Here are some of the responses I got:

Missionary Monday ~ How to Support Your Missionary Wives

I get asked this on a weekly basis, "How can we better support you? What is it that you need from us?" I always worry when I answer. I am never sure that I give the right or all-encompassing response. I´m not even sure that my attempt to do so in this blog will be correct. I always worry when I put a blanket statement like the title above. For truly, we are all individuals, and I cannot answer for every missionary wife. And as my experience is limited to my country of service and time here, I am sure something will be left out. So, I am definitely not the most qualified person to answer this. But since it is asked of me… often… and I have this forum, I asked God to help me generally answer on behalf of some of my co-workers around the world, and maybe in some small way help us all knit closer together as the family of God.

1.) Be Interested. I cannot tell you what it means to me when I get an e-mail or message or letter, and I can tell the person has been following our ministry - has read our prayer letter, knows our prayer requests, has checked out our Facebook pages. The fact that someone would take time out of their busy schedule and think of and/or pray for us means the world! Can I be honest? I don´t know how missionaries did it before technology! They were obviously better people than I. Because of distance, there is that immediate disconnect. It can be discouraging if you think no one from home that supports you cares about what you are killing yourself to do in a foreign country. Of course, I can already hear some of the sour responses ¨But, you are doing it for the Lord, not for men. That should be it´s own reward!¨ And you´re right! That´s why most missionaries will stay on the field. The reward is not why we do it, anyway. But the encouragement is a motivation. A reminder that just as this person sees, God sees us, too. We are not forgotten. It´s always a missionary´s fear, that as soon as the missions conference is over, or the next missionary comes to visit, we will be but a distant memory. Make an extra effort to be sure your missionary wife knows you think about her! Every single one of them! Because as soon as your missionary family steps off the plane onto that unfamiliar land, the devil starts telling them they don´t matter. No one cares. What they do will never make a difference. And he whispers those things constantly, especially into the wife´s ear. And each time you send that message, mail that package, make that call, you have helped defeat Satan and encouraged your missionary´s wife to keep going. She is not alone.

2.) Be Patient. I wish I could explain this well in words; but unless you experience it, it is an impossibility, but I will try. Things move at a different speed in foreign countries. I live in a city of 10 million people with Wi-fi (sometimes!) and Starbucks {which most missionary wives don´t!}, and STILL it takes me half the day just to cook my meals for the day. Nearly everything has to be done from scratch… and when I say scratch, I mean like chop the head off the chicken…, we need to wash and sanitize every veggie & fruit, purify/boil water before using, and so many other things that just eat up time. It takes hours to grocery shop. You have to push and shove just to be waited on; you will stand in line just for them to let a grumpy person cut in front of you so they ¨stop making a scene,¨ and carts of bloody meat will crash into your leg at least once a month. Every place has a line that you must wait in, but they can´t tell you why. And just driving somewhere in the horrific traffic is enough to give the sweetest lady severe road rage. Nothing can be easily done. You can´t just run to the corner store, grab a can of soup, and heat it up for dinner. You have to understand that sometimes the ATM will run out of money and they will fill it ¨when they come¨. Which could be an hour or next Tuesday. Everything must always be done in a different language while trying to understand the different mindset. And most missionary wives have to do all of this with children! So add all your pastor´s wife does and put it in these circumstances {and I really didn´t even scratch the surface!}. Maybe now you will understand when she does not answer your e-mail right away. Or why she did not ¨like¨ your church´s FB status, yet. Contrary to a somewhat popular notion, we do not sit on the internet all day. [Yes, I see the irony as I blog that on the internet ]. In my own life, I had someone very upset because they sent me a very nice FB message that it took me awhile to respond to. She told me that the computer said I was on-line. So, she took it to mean I just did not care to answer her. Newsflash! I am ALWAYS signed in, either on my phone or Kindle or somewhere! I never log out ~ and now all the hackers are running to my FB account ~ But, it doesn´t mean I am always sitting there waiting to NOT answer you. OK, personal rant over . But, honestly, We want to answer you. We want to give you an update on everything. We want to send you pictures of the children. We want to send you the list of needs. And we will! Just be patient with us!

3.) Be Kind. Ok, so this should be a no-brainer, right? But I just felt I should include it, because of some of the things I hear. I recently went back to the States, and so many of my amazing friends sent clothes back with me for the Peruvians, and they sent the very best! I was so proud to give them to our people. But we have gotten things in packages for us or to ¨share with the people¨ - threadbare clothes, half-used bottles of shampoo, and all the other things that looked like they had been on their way to the garbage pile and accidentally put in the missionary package. Don´t just give. If you only have a blanket with stains and holes, just throw it away! And instead, pray for the missionary. One of my friends in another country was so excited as she waited for a box of clothes for her kids. She got it and the note said ¨We sent these because your last picture was so pathetic. At least now, maybe your kids will match!¨ Now, this time the clothes were VERY nice and first class, but the words stung! Every time she put those clothes on her children, she felt like a failure as a mother. Every time she heard of someone that had seen that picture, she felt embarrassed and ashamed. Kind of took all the joy out of the package. Kindness goes such a long way! Simply just a kind word… or being kind enough to not share your opinions, especially of her or her family… could make such a difference to your missionary´s wife.

4.) Be Understanding. I know. We are supposed to be super Christians. We are never supposed to have a bad day. We are supposed to have perfect children who love their new culture and don´t miss America at all. We should always look good and not like the dowdy missionary wife. But, we should not look too good because then we must be stealing support money and going on shopping sprees! We are supposed to be able to sing and play at least two musical instruments. We should always have a good attitude about our husband´s never being home. Our prayer letters should always be positive and filled with good news, even though most don´t read them anyway. Complaining is forbidden. Tears are unwelcome. Depression is a sin. ~~ I´m about to tell you a secret now. According to these standards, we fail. We all fail. Every missionary´s wife is no longer allowed to be one, then. And, I know you think I´m exaggerating. And no, not everyone holds us to these, but some do. I have known people who have lost support because their prayer letter had ¨too many needs listed and not enough souls saved¨. Or the pastor who called my friend´s husband because "Your wife seemed to be having a bad week when we visited your work. I don´t think she is cut out for life on the field." Really? I mean, really? We are human. Unfortunately. Trust me ~ We all wish we did not have our failings and shortcomings! Life would be so much easier. But, just try to understand. Be her shoulder to cry on. Let her be homesick. Allow her some ¨prickly¨days. Understand. And with that, maybe try the next one…

5.) Be Her Prayer Warrior! This is the most important one! Her husband and children have a prayer warrior; it is her. The people they serve have a prayer warrior; it´s her. All of their supporting churches have a prayer warrior; it´s her - the missionary wife. But, who prays for her? And not in the ¨dear-God-bless-all-the-missionaries-out-there¨ way, although we will take that, too! But in the ¨I´m going to take this whole week and just pray for her. I will find out her prayer requests. I will pray for miracles. I will even fast a day. I will beg God to bind Satan in her life. I will weep as I ask God to protect her relationships and body. I will be the one who takes her name to God so she can have the wisdom, grace, love, mercy, peace, and strength to get through the day.¨ I know you´re thinking that it sounds pretty intense. And it is. We stand between the living and the dead here. I personally have encountered more spiritual warfare in the last year and a half than I ever have in my previous 30 years combined. The devil has had such a stronghold in all of our countries of service, and you can hear his demons scream and rage as another missionary sets foot on ¨his¨ kingdom. He will unleash all of his venom - every evil, every mind game, every sickness, every sin, every temptation, every hurt he has at his disposal until he can get them to leave. And the devil knows, just like he did in the garden of Eden, that the success of this missionary family hinges on one person… the wife. So, he´ll target her. He always does. That´s why she needs a prayer warrior. I´m begging you for her. Please, fast and pray for your missionary´s wife. It´s the only way she´ll survive.

I hope this helps! I must include that Junior & I are SO blessed to have the BEST supporting churches ever! They are all of these things to me and so much more. I love them, every single one of them. I have just felt Spirit-led to share this with you all. I love all of my missionary wife friends out there, too! Keep going, Ladies! Hang in there. Don´t give up! If you get knocked down, get up again {we all do!}! I have the highest respect for each of you and count you all as a true heroine. If I left the mission field today, it would have been the greatest and most instructive time in my life, and it has made me realize just how AMAZING each of one you ladies are! Can´t wait to get to heaven & see how God honors your behind-the-scenes, selfless, sacrificial lives that you´ve given for Him.

Love ~ Jessica

This is a guest post by Jessica.  She is a missionary's wife serving the Lord in Peru.  You can read more of her writings at her blog - Living Redeemed.