B. O., Bad Breath, and the Mission Field

Many years ago, a pastor from our home church visited us in Spain. Later, we listened to a cassette tape of a report he gave about his trip. What did he remember? The pungent odor of sweaty bodies as our young people were flapping around, playing Ping Pong. What an impression!

One of the huge adjustments for us as we arrived on the field in 1984 was unpleasant smells. Fish, meat, urine, sweat, and tobacco assaulted our noses. You could hardly turn a corner without bumping into a “cloud” of some kind! (Thankfully, it’s better today.)

The missionary who goes abroad will never tell you what it’s like to be on a crowded bus of beachgoers with their armpits in the air and no deodorant. He’ll never tell you how he closes his nose off so he can ignore the smells and minister to the people. She’ll never share that she sometimes sniffs perfume on her wrist just to make it through a church service while surrounded by sweet but stinky bodies.

Bad breath? Garlic seeps through the pores—and the mouth. Onions are the least of our worries! Some people smell of wine strong enough to make you think you’re in a distillery . . . and everyone stands about a nose length from you and talks loudly! Poof!

What does it take to love people?

                                                    

If we’re honest, it takes a lot of grace.

I can’t imagine what it was like for Jesus. Sinless, spotless, perfect, God—and everyone else was full of nasty sins. Jesus walked in dust and filth, He smelled some awful things, and yet, He loved people. He looked past their dirt and sweat and sins, and He loved their souls. Jesus touched lepers. He healed the woman with the issue of blood. He gave up sleep and food and went to the needy—and let them come to Him. The Samaritan woman and the woman caught in adultery didn’t deserve His compassion, but they experienced cleansing and freedom. Jesus loved perfectly.

He is love.

Every missionary woman must learn to love like Jesus: overlook the unpleasantness and care for souls. Notice needs and be compassionate. See people as they could be in Christ—new and whole and holy. Rejoice when a sinner is redeemed. Care for the unfortunate.

I don’t know why Jesus chose to use people as His hands, but He did. He uses the “weak things”—those of us who dab our wrists with perfume so we can enjoy being with others. He uses the pastor who’s allergic to minister to chain smokers. He uses redeemed sinners to build bridges to lost sinners.

A missionary was continually angry with the natives for messing up the nice things he had in his house. The natives' offenses ranged from setting wet glasses on hardwood furniture to throwing napkins on the floor. He would lecture, and he would complain. The natives didn’t respect his fine furnishings. . . . This missionary left the field.

When we first arrived in Spain, our co-worker wisely told us not to be too proud of our new car. He said, “Soon, kids will take rocks to it and scratch the paint. Soon, it will have dents in it because people don’t pay attention how they open their doors, and they’re not careful inside, either. Your car is a tool for ministry.” And what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it? (1 Corinthians 4:7b).

In some places in the world, the native houses are more like shelters than homes. Especially in years gone by, missionaries experienced all aspects of their life being in a fishbowl. The curious people peeked in at windows and doors day and night.

Do we truly love people?

Do we love them, even though we smell their garlic and B. O. and think they have strange customs? Do we love them enough to share life with them? Do we love them as Christ loves them?

Are we living examples of Jesus’ love?

Loving people is the result of loving God. Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets (Matthew 22:37-40).

The next time you’re surrounded by a "cloud,"

remember to show Jesus’ love . . .

and make sure there’s a spot of perfume on your wrist.

"They Never Told Us"

Thirty-one years ago, in a steamy apartment kitchen in Madrid, Spain, a fellow missionary wife and I were talking. She asked me about our adjustments to our new home and our experiences, and then she said something I will never forget:

“They always tell you about the millions who are waiting

for someone to share the gospel with them,

but they never tell you about the millions who couldn’t care less.”

It’s true; they never told us. (But, maybe that was best.)

Even though millions don't care, it's still our duty to share with them how Jesus Christ came to save sinners.

Here are a few observations about missions that I hope will encourage you, wherever you are in the world:

1. Mission fields are different. Pioneer missions anywhere are slogging, preparing-the-soil work. The faithful missionary plants, but he might not see a lot of sprouts—yet. “Cherry picking” works are those where former generations of missionaries have tilled, planted, fertilized, and pruned. These missionaries are the ones who preach and see a hundred souls saved in one campaign. These are the ones that have native pastors clamoring to move on to the other mission fields of the world. Years ago, it wasn’t this way, but now, it’s cherry picking time. The orchards are ripe for a large harvest. Some places are extremely hard because of false religious beliefs. There’s a lot to overcome when every house has an ancestor box or an idol shelf, and the people live in fear of the spirits. In other places—like Europe—the natives have almost completely rebelled against anything that resembles religion because of abuses in the past. Atheism is the accepted, “cool” religion.
2. God never calls missionaries to go where no one will be saved. If God called you to a place, He has at least one soul there who will respond. We might need to change our perspective a little bit: isn’t it worth spending your life spreading the gospel if one soul goes to heaven? Is the missionary who’s reaping a large harvest greater than the man or woman who’s preparing the soil and not seeing as many “results”? The Bible says the harvest is His. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase (1 Corinthians 3:7). Each part of “gospel farming” is important, but it’s ultimately God who provides the sun, rain—and the harvest. 
3. Our job is to be faithful. Period. Every field is different, every church is different, and every mission work is different. Every missionary, too, is unique. It’s an honor to be a missionary, but all we’ve done is to obey God’s call. I love how the Lord puts it into perspective: For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence. But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord (1 Corinthians 1:26-31). Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful (1 Corinthians 4:2).
4. Whether the soil is hard or all tilled and fertile, God is working. Sometimes He lets us peek in as He does things, and sometimes we will never really see what He is doing in hearts until we get to heaven. It’s for us to trust Him to do His work. I once read about a man who stood on a street corner in Sydney, Australia, faithfully asking people if they died, did they know where they’d spend eternity. He didn’t know it, but many people came to Christ through his simple, faithful witness. (You can access the full story here.) It might be that we have no idea what kind of an impact we have for the Lord until we walk the golden streets in Glory. But God never sleeps. He’s always on the job, seeking to save the lost. It’s our job to do what we can to spread the gospel. 

Is your mission field white already to harvest? (John 4:35) Go for it! But when the fruit is brought forth, immediately he putteth in the sickle, because the harvest is come (Mark 4:29). Enjoy filling your bucket with bright red cherries.

Is your mission field a pioneer work, and you are preparing the soil, planting, and watering? Look for God to bless. The Apostle Paul said, I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase (1 Corinthians 3:6).

If we’re faithful in spreading the gospel, there will be some fruit. It might not be the same percentage as the person who toils in a mature field, but there will be fruit. But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty (Matthew 13:23).

These principles have greatly encouraged me through the years. I trust they’ll bless you, too. May we be found faithful!

  

Do You Remember Your First Bible?

We work in a small indigenous community of about 300 people here in Australia.  God has blessed us to be able to hold Sunday morning service, Wednesday night prayer meeting and Kid's Club, and Friday night Teen Group all within the community.  We are also blessed to be able to teach Religious Instruction in their public school every week. 

Teenagers are probably my favourite group of people to teach.  I can't help but think of my teen years and how God used the people around me to help guide me into my adult years.  I fear what my life would have been like had not some godly people taken a special interest me.

I was so excited when we started a teen group at our church.  I look at these young men and women and can't help but think that this is the next generation.  These are the next leaders of the community and hopefully our church.   

Last week at our Teen Group we gave our teens their very first Bible.  This photo is so precious to me.  Look at those smiles!  What could make me smile even more?  Seeing those boys walk into church on Sunday morning proudly carrying their new Bibles!

We have enjoyed teaching them about the Bible.  Think about not knowing how to find Psalm 23, or that there are two testaments, or what is the first book of the Bible.  This is all new to them, and I am so enjoying being there to teach them all of this.  Don't take these things for granted.  Sometimes we are so spoiled.  Many of us have several Bibles.  I hope you know what a precious thing it is to hold the Word of God in  your hands.

Do you remember your first Bible?  Was there a special story to go with it?  Please share in the comments, I'd love to hear about it.   I shared a Bible story over on my blog.  

Without Grumbling and Complaining

Missionaries can find a lot to complain about. Going to a place that usually has less than before--less privacy, less amenities, less flexibility, less availability, less efficiency, less of everything!--makes it so hard not to be unhappy and discontent when the inevitable comparisons happen. "Ugh! In America...this wouldn't have happened!" or "I miss..." or "Why does it have to be that way!"

Sometimes we even give ourselves the right to our grumblings--after all, we can only take so much sacrifice, right? Are we also supposed to be happy and thankful about things that we see as the obvious fruits of sin all around us? We may even be tempted to loudly complain, so that the nationals will "see things the way they ought to." You know, help out their worldview issues.

I remember feeling this way on one harrowing occasion of trying to renew our visitors' visas. It was one of the most stressful events in our ministry to that point, and I actually wondered if I would go nuts from worry. It was incredibly hard not to visibly lose my temper, even with a national in the room to check my emotions, when my husband came home with more bad news about the situation that year.

"Do all things without murmurings and disputings," says Philippians 2:14.

And the opposite course of action is given in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

How many times had I heard or memorized those verses in my youth? But they seemed impossible on the mission field.

But a few years ago as I attempted to memorize the book of Philippians, I realized that the thought doesn't end there. In fact, Philippians 2:14 is directly related to missions! Here's the whole passage:

"Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life..."

When I made the connection between verse 14 and the following verses, the sword of the Word cut through all of my self-justifications for why complaining was allowable in my situation. Missionaries should not be given a pass on complaining. If anything, we should be more careful to guard our tongues and spirits from complaining, because complaining directly affects our testimony.

When we complain, we hurt our testimony. Complaining makes us so that we cannot truly be called "blameless and pure." But if others see us in times of trial thanking and praising our God, with a spirit of peace and trust, then they can marvel--what is it that makes them able to respond that way? If you can keep yourself from complaining, you are helping the Gospel.

In fact, the inspired Word even admits that we are in the middle of a crooked and perverted nation. Those national sins and foreign factors that can be so angering and my-rights-destroying do not give me an excuse to complain--just to vent and get it all out! No. Instead, they remind me that I am a STAR (as another version translates) shining in their darkness, holding out life to them!


Wow! I do not feel like a star; do you? Too often the stress pot of life on the mission field causes my remnant sins and unaddressed temptations to boil over, and all of the blackness and poison still in my heart spills out of my mouth and on everyone else. But it is true--like Galadriel's phial in Shelob's lair, we are supposed to be a rebuke--our brightness, a pain--to the darkness.

Let those sins and the frustrations that come along with the darkness all around you in whatever crooked and perverse nation you live in remind you--not that you deserve better, or once had better--but that the darker the darkness, the brighter you shine (a star!), when you live blamelessly in that darkness.

Malaria and Worry

Here is an experience we had last year. I felt it was a good picture of the emotions missionaries sometimes have.

_____________________________________

Last Saturday night we took Callie (my daughter of 18 months at the time) to the hospital to get tested for malaria. Her test was negative, thank God! Following are the factors that caused us to worry for her sake:

We had just spent a short holiday in a low-risk malaria region, but had to leave early in order to preach for the funeral of a neighbor of ours. She actually died of malaria, and her baby was in the hospital the week of her funeral to recuperate from malaria as well.

Some missionary friends of ours announced that they are leaving their field of service (in Africa) because of malaria and its effects on their toddler.

Then last Saturday Callie got a fever that soared and wouldn’t come down, along with some stomach trouble.

I would normally treat her with Tylenol and wait a couple of days to see if she healed on her own, but the conjunction of these events worried me. We’ve been told before that malaria is not a problem in South Africa, except for select few areas, which we’ve been told do not include our village. But we had been out of our village on holiday near the border of Zimbabwe.

I researched a bit on the internet about malaria and its symptoms, as well as malaria regions in South Africa, and decided to call the doctor. She told me that we actually can get malaria in our villages; and if I was concerned, the only way to know for sure was to do a blood test. This would be considered an emergency, and she would run the test as soon as we could get to the hospital.

We decided to have the test done, though it was almost her bedtime, and my husband needed to brush up his sermon for the next day. Would I normally make that decision if all of these events hadn’t lined up just so? Probably not. But I was worried.

I wonder if my worry was sinful. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

“Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

On the other hand, I talk to myself, believing that I took the course of common sense. It’s not “worry” to take precautions with your child’s health—especially if you believe it could affect your future in missions! I’ve been told I’m a pessimist (translate—“worrier”); I respond that I’m a realist. ;) My husband is an optimist.

Does believing that God works out all things for good to those who love Him mean that we don’t work with all of our might to prevent those bad things from happening (that will eventually be worked out for our good)? Does trusting in the Lord with all of our heart mean, as the prosperity preachers prevalent in our area say, that if we have enough faith, bad things won’t happen, or they will be taken care of/healed, etc.? Obviously not.

But I wonder if I could see the truth in my own heart, how much of my heart was filled with what percentage of these two courses. I doubt I would have changed my decision. I’m glad I know for sure that she is not endangered right now by malaria. But did I sin in my heart—in my emotions? How much of my heart was filled with fear for my baby, fears and doubts about the unknown, and lack of trust in our loving Father’s sovereign hand truly working all things together for our good?

Jonathan Edwards said, “Resolved to examine carefully and constantly what that one thing in me is which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God, and so direct all my forces against it.” I can act for my baby’s good health, but I must do so with unshakeable assurance that God’s ways are best.

Sooo tired.

On vacation in a baobab tree.

Missionary Monday ~ How to Support Your Missionary Wives

I get asked this on a weekly basis, "How can we better support you? What is it that you need from us?" I always worry when I answer. I am never sure that I give the right or all-encompassing response. I´m not even sure that my attempt to do so in this blog will be correct. I always worry when I put a blanket statement like the title above. For truly, we are all individuals, and I cannot answer for every missionary wife. And as my experience is limited to my country of service and time here, I am sure something will be left out. So, I am definitely not the most qualified person to answer this. But since it is asked of me… often… and I have this forum, I asked God to help me generally answer on behalf of some of my co-workers around the world, and maybe in some small way help us all knit closer together as the family of God.

1.) Be Interested. I cannot tell you what it means to me when I get an e-mail or message or letter, and I can tell the person has been following our ministry - has read our prayer letter, knows our prayer requests, has checked out our Facebook pages. The fact that someone would take time out of their busy schedule and think of and/or pray for us means the world! Can I be honest? I don´t know how missionaries did it before technology! They were obviously better people than I. Because of distance, there is that immediate disconnect. It can be discouraging if you think no one from home that supports you cares about what you are killing yourself to do in a foreign country. Of course, I can already hear some of the sour responses ¨But, you are doing it for the Lord, not for men. That should be it´s own reward!¨ And you´re right! That´s why most missionaries will stay on the field. The reward is not why we do it, anyway. But the encouragement is a motivation. A reminder that just as this person sees, God sees us, too. We are not forgotten. It´s always a missionary´s fear, that as soon as the missions conference is over, or the next missionary comes to visit, we will be but a distant memory. Make an extra effort to be sure your missionary wife knows you think about her! Every single one of them! Because as soon as your missionary family steps off the plane onto that unfamiliar land, the devil starts telling them they don´t matter. No one cares. What they do will never make a difference. And he whispers those things constantly, especially into the wife´s ear. And each time you send that message, mail that package, make that call, you have helped defeat Satan and encouraged your missionary´s wife to keep going. She is not alone.

2.) Be Patient. I wish I could explain this well in words; but unless you experience it, it is an impossibility, but I will try. Things move at a different speed in foreign countries. I live in a city of 10 million people with Wi-fi (sometimes!) and Starbucks {which most missionary wives don´t!}, and STILL it takes me half the day just to cook my meals for the day. Nearly everything has to be done from scratch… and when I say scratch, I mean like chop the head off the chicken…, we need to wash and sanitize every veggie & fruit, purify/boil water before using, and so many other things that just eat up time. It takes hours to grocery shop. You have to push and shove just to be waited on; you will stand in line just for them to let a grumpy person cut in front of you so they ¨stop making a scene,¨ and carts of bloody meat will crash into your leg at least once a month. Every place has a line that you must wait in, but they can´t tell you why. And just driving somewhere in the horrific traffic is enough to give the sweetest lady severe road rage. Nothing can be easily done. You can´t just run to the corner store, grab a can of soup, and heat it up for dinner. You have to understand that sometimes the ATM will run out of money and they will fill it ¨when they come¨. Which could be an hour or next Tuesday. Everything must always be done in a different language while trying to understand the different mindset. And most missionary wives have to do all of this with children! So add all your pastor´s wife does and put it in these circumstances {and I really didn´t even scratch the surface!}. Maybe now you will understand when she does not answer your e-mail right away. Or why she did not ¨like¨ your church´s FB status, yet. Contrary to a somewhat popular notion, we do not sit on the internet all day. [Yes, I see the irony as I blog that on the internet ]. In my own life, I had someone very upset because they sent me a very nice FB message that it took me awhile to respond to. She told me that the computer said I was on-line. So, she took it to mean I just did not care to answer her. Newsflash! I am ALWAYS signed in, either on my phone or Kindle or somewhere! I never log out ~ and now all the hackers are running to my FB account ~ But, it doesn´t mean I am always sitting there waiting to NOT answer you. OK, personal rant over . But, honestly, We want to answer you. We want to give you an update on everything. We want to send you pictures of the children. We want to send you the list of needs. And we will! Just be patient with us!

3.) Be Kind. Ok, so this should be a no-brainer, right? But I just felt I should include it, because of some of the things I hear. I recently went back to the States, and so many of my amazing friends sent clothes back with me for the Peruvians, and they sent the very best! I was so proud to give them to our people. But we have gotten things in packages for us or to ¨share with the people¨ - threadbare clothes, half-used bottles of shampoo, and all the other things that looked like they had been on their way to the garbage pile and accidentally put in the missionary package. Don´t just give. If you only have a blanket with stains and holes, just throw it away! And instead, pray for the missionary. One of my friends in another country was so excited as she waited for a box of clothes for her kids. She got it and the note said ¨We sent these because your last picture was so pathetic. At least now, maybe your kids will match!¨ Now, this time the clothes were VERY nice and first class, but the words stung! Every time she put those clothes on her children, she felt like a failure as a mother. Every time she heard of someone that had seen that picture, she felt embarrassed and ashamed. Kind of took all the joy out of the package. Kindness goes such a long way! Simply just a kind word… or being kind enough to not share your opinions, especially of her or her family… could make such a difference to your missionary´s wife.

4.) Be Understanding. I know. We are supposed to be super Christians. We are never supposed to have a bad day. We are supposed to have perfect children who love their new culture and don´t miss America at all. We should always look good and not like the dowdy missionary wife. But, we should not look too good because then we must be stealing support money and going on shopping sprees! We are supposed to be able to sing and play at least two musical instruments. We should always have a good attitude about our husband´s never being home. Our prayer letters should always be positive and filled with good news, even though most don´t read them anyway. Complaining is forbidden. Tears are unwelcome. Depression is a sin. ~~ I´m about to tell you a secret now. According to these standards, we fail. We all fail. Every missionary´s wife is no longer allowed to be one, then. And, I know you think I´m exaggerating. And no, not everyone holds us to these, but some do. I have known people who have lost support because their prayer letter had ¨too many needs listed and not enough souls saved¨. Or the pastor who called my friend´s husband because "Your wife seemed to be having a bad week when we visited your work. I don´t think she is cut out for life on the field." Really? I mean, really? We are human. Unfortunately. Trust me ~ We all wish we did not have our failings and shortcomings! Life would be so much easier. But, just try to understand. Be her shoulder to cry on. Let her be homesick. Allow her some ¨prickly¨days. Understand. And with that, maybe try the next one…

5.) Be Her Prayer Warrior! This is the most important one! Her husband and children have a prayer warrior; it is her. The people they serve have a prayer warrior; it´s her. All of their supporting churches have a prayer warrior; it´s her - the missionary wife. But, who prays for her? And not in the ¨dear-God-bless-all-the-missionaries-out-there¨ way, although we will take that, too! But in the ¨I´m going to take this whole week and just pray for her. I will find out her prayer requests. I will pray for miracles. I will even fast a day. I will beg God to bind Satan in her life. I will weep as I ask God to protect her relationships and body. I will be the one who takes her name to God so she can have the wisdom, grace, love, mercy, peace, and strength to get through the day.¨ I know you´re thinking that it sounds pretty intense. And it is. We stand between the living and the dead here. I personally have encountered more spiritual warfare in the last year and a half than I ever have in my previous 30 years combined. The devil has had such a stronghold in all of our countries of service, and you can hear his demons scream and rage as another missionary sets foot on ¨his¨ kingdom. He will unleash all of his venom - every evil, every mind game, every sickness, every sin, every temptation, every hurt he has at his disposal until he can get them to leave. And the devil knows, just like he did in the garden of Eden, that the success of this missionary family hinges on one person… the wife. So, he´ll target her. He always does. That´s why she needs a prayer warrior. I´m begging you for her. Please, fast and pray for your missionary´s wife. It´s the only way she´ll survive.

I hope this helps! I must include that Junior & I are SO blessed to have the BEST supporting churches ever! They are all of these things to me and so much more. I love them, every single one of them. I have just felt Spirit-led to share this with you all. I love all of my missionary wife friends out there, too! Keep going, Ladies! Hang in there. Don´t give up! If you get knocked down, get up again {we all do!}! I have the highest respect for each of you and count you all as a true heroine. If I left the mission field today, it would have been the greatest and most instructive time in my life, and it has made me realize just how AMAZING each of one you ladies are! Can´t wait to get to heaven & see how God honors your behind-the-scenes, selfless, sacrificial lives that you´ve given for Him.

Love ~ Jessica

This is a guest post by Jessica.  She is a missionary's wife serving the Lord in Peru.  You can read more of her writings at her blog - Living Redeemed.

Belonging

We came to Spain in 1984 with a ten-month-old baby in our arms. We hadn’t made a survey trip. We knew no Spanish—not one word—and no one besides our co-workers and the Spanish pastor’s family. When we arrived in the Madrid airport in the early morning, we had lost almost two nights of sleep. Our co-workers met us in a very strange looking, Siata van, something like a squarish tin can on wheels. We piled in along with their family, and one of the first things the lady said was, “Husband, we need to find a bar.”

I was suffering from jet lag and from wrestling with a very active baby the whole trip. And this wonderful Christian lady was looking for a bar? (I had never set foot in a bar in my life!)

Several miles down the road, we pulled into a spacious parking lot outside a lovely cafeteria where we got breakfast rolls and coffee—or in my husband’s case, hot chocolate. Lesson Number One: a bar in Spain is not the same thing as a bar in America.

Lessons Number Two and Three soon followed. Two: there are different kinds of bars—those for men, and those for families with children. Always look before entering. Three: bars always have public restrooms. It’s a very helpful thing to know.

I would say that our whole first term—five years—we felt like strangers in a strange land. We got to be fairly fluent in Spanish, but people still stared at us like we came from another planet. (I was clueless about dressing to blend in, and there weren’t many non-Spanish/Basque people living in the Basque region in those days. Plus, those were the Reagan years, and the sentiment was very anti-American.)

After our first furlough, when we returned to Spain, we felt oddly “at home.” Oh yes, there were still some big challenges and many learning experiences, but we knew that God had called and we were where He wanted us to be.

Fast-forward sixteen years from our arrival. Our daughter called home from college in the States. “Mama and Daddy,” she began, “should I say the Pledge of Allegiance?” Our eyes were opened to the reality of third culture kids. Our daughter wanted to know if it was honest to pledge allegiance to a country she had never lived in. Oh yes, she was a U.S. citizen from birth, but . . . .

Are there days when you feel like you don’t belong? (After twenty-nine years in Spain, we still have them.) Do you wake up sometimes, look out the window, and want to turn over and pull the covers over your head? Do you long for the things you had back in the States? Do you miss ________________? (doughnuts, Starbucks, Wal-Mart, creature comforts, people looking up to you as a missionary; you fill in the blank.) Do your kids struggle with being in between? Or do they already feel so much a part of their adopted country that they think America is the foreign country?

Belonging . . .

Let me share some important concepts and Scriptures with you.

• To the new missionary: hang in there. Eventually, this crazy foreign place will feel like home. It is very important to go back for that second term. Give yourself time to learn and adapt. It won’t happen in one or two years. Be patient. Moses said, Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations (Psalm 90:1). Home is where God is.
• To the single missionary: We admire you. 1 Corinthians 7:34 tells us how important single women are to God’s work: The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. Serve the Lord and keep yourself pure. Make friends of everyone—male, female, all ages, and complete families. You will find your “family” in the people to whom you minister.
• To the mother of little ones, who would like to be more involved in the ministry, but you’re barely keeping your head above water: there are seasons in every life. Your ministry now is to your family and what you can do in the church. Ask your husband what he would like you to do. (You’ll probably be surprised by his answer.) Follow his leadership. She that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34b). Be sweet. Depend on God’s strength daily, and make sure you have a regular quiet time. Your impact is greater than you think.
• To the homeschooling missionary: your children are an important part of your ministry—the most important part, excepting your husband. When you homeschool, you are not only imparting knowledge and school subjects; you are also pouring your values into your children. Deuteronomy 6:5-7 is a good outline for homeschooling. And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. First, you love the Lord with all your being, and then you share the Word of God with your children—all day long and in every life context.
• To the tired missionary: Jesus said, Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30). Lean on the Lord. Leave your burden. Find soul rest in the Lord. 

You do belong.

You belong—right where you are, right in this moment. God has led you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you. You belong to Him. (Hebrews 13:5; Romans 14:8)

God bless you, dear sister.