Thou Knowest...

Psalm 139:1-18

  O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. 

He knew what He was getting before He saved me... and before He called me to the field.

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising,

thou understandest my thought afar off. 

Some people think that because I am a missionary that I do all things well, but He knows differently. He knew my faults, failures, and weaknesses as well as my strengths before He called me.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

He promised to go with me each step of the way... to protect me, strengthen me, correct me, guide me... Because He knew I would need help. He didn't call me because I had something great to offer Him or the people I work with. He called me because He wants to do something great through me in spite of my weaknesses.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. 

I am so glad this applies to when I am learning a new language, too. Sometimes I struggle... sometimes all the wrong words come out. Sometimes even in English the wrong words come out by choice. Sometimes I don't know what to teach, or if what I am teaching is making sense. But You know, Lord...

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. 

Lord, I can't do this without your favor... with out your help. I need You! Thank you for preparing the path before me and for going behind me and cleaning up the messes I make in life and ministry.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. 

Things are just too big for me, but they are not too big for You.

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? 

There is nowhere I can go that you are not there.

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. 

In my darkest, most frustrating days, You are there comforting me. In my brightest and happiest moments, I have You to thank.

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; 

Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. 

Sometimes I feel like I am swimming and just barely keeping my head above water. I am glad You are there, too.

If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

When I feel like I cannot tell anyone... You already know.

Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. 

You see the tears I shed when no one is looking.

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

You have known me from the beginning.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 

You designed me... given me the talents I have as well as withheld the talents I don't have. All for a specific purpose and plan.

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 

Planned... designed... not an accident.

Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 

So it doesn't shock you that I cannot do certain things well. You knew exactly who I would be even as I was forming in my mother's belly.

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! 

Knowing all that, and you still love me and want to use me.

If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. 

Oh, to think that You spend time thinking of me! 

by Charity, Southern Asia