I used to be the mouth-runner. I’m not kidding. I was a smart-mouthed, sassy-faced kid. Maybe you saw my post about telling the boys I punched in the head to ‘go ahead and bring their dad back- I’ll punch him in the head too.’
Another example: We were sitting in church once when I was pretty young, and my mother had mentioned my great-uncle Buster. I piped up “Yeah, what’s so great about him?!”
This was commonplace for me, and I really thought nothing of it. Probably because most of the time it elicited a laugh or a strong reaction from other people. And I loved nothing more than being the center of attention.
My Nan used to tell me that someday I was going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and they were going to teach me a lesson. I’m sure I said something sarcastic about loving to learn, and that I couldn’t wait. That just goes to show I didn’t understand how serious the consequences could be.
By God’s grace I never got drop-kicked anywhere, or punched in the head myself.
Thankfully I matured over the years, and once Jesus got ahold of me, that sharp tongue became a quick wit with a soft edge. (It doesn't mean I don't still think mean things, however. That sharp tongue is still in my mouth. I have just learned to ask the Lord to help me NOT to say them. And to help me stop thinking them, too.)
The child who loved to get a rise out of people learned to avoid conflict, and recognize when my words were wounding others.
I look back on those times as a child and realize how foolish and selfish most of them were. My motivation was absolutely self-gratification. I liked how it felt when people responded in a certain way to things I said. It encouraged me to do it again. And again. And again.
But that wasn’t fair to my parents. I don’t know if they had to apologize to people for my mouth, putting out little fires they weren't responsible for starting, or whether people just thought I was precocious (which is NOT the same things as precious, thankyouverymuch).
I'm in the book of 1 Samuel this week, and I read the story of David and Goliath again. But I noticed something I never had before: Goliath had a shield bearer. (1 Samuel 17:41)
Poor guy.
See, here's Goliath- this huge and powerful man, running his mouth to every people group the Philistines are coming up against, and using his size and power to intimidate and instill fear in everyone who sees and hears him.
I bet it made him feel good to be the biggest and strongest. I'm sure he loved it when people cowered in fear before him, recognizing him as their superior. It must have stroked his ego in some way, because he kept doing it.
And I'm sure not everyone reacted in total fear like the Israelites. Every people group surely had someone who would try and go up against him, believing they could defeat him.
And the poor guy having to defend Goliath every time was the one who was holding the shield.
He didn't say the things Goliath said. He may not have even agreed with him. I'm sure sometimes he cringed at what was coming out of the mouth of the guy behind him, knowing he was going to bear the consequences of Goliath's words.
But one day Goliath said the wrong thing to the wrong person, and he was taught a very tough lesson.
Our words matter.
When we are approaching any person with any subject, we can't be a Goliath, boasting about how we can do this or that, or how we have already done this or that, or how everyone else is an idiot because their way is different (but perhaps better, and we don't want to admit it) from ours.
I have met people like this. Sadly, some of them claim to know Christ. They are arrogant, and think of themselves as big and powerful- giants in their own minds. And they say hurtful things to people. They criticize, and degrade, and belittle, until everyone around them is afraid to speak up for fear of being the next target.
And they leave the shield bearer (their family, close friends, co-workers, other Christians) to defend them.
- "Oh you know how he/she is. They don't really mean it."
I'm in the book of 1 Samuel this week, and I read the story of David and Goliath again. But I noticed something I never had before: Goliath had a shield bearer. (1 Samuel 17:41)
Poor guy.
See, here's Goliath- this huge and powerful man, running his mouth to every people group the Philistines are coming up against, and using his size and power to intimidate and instill fear in everyone who sees and hears him.
I bet it made him feel good to be the biggest and strongest. I'm sure he loved it when people cowered in fear before him, recognizing him as their superior. It must have stroked his ego in some way, because he kept doing it.
And I'm sure not everyone reacted in total fear like the Israelites. Every people group surely had someone who would try and go up against him, believing they could defeat him.
And the poor guy having to defend Goliath every time was the one who was holding the shield.
He didn't say the things Goliath said. He may not have even agreed with him. I'm sure sometimes he cringed at what was coming out of the mouth of the guy behind him, knowing he was going to bear the consequences of Goliath's words.
But one day Goliath said the wrong thing to the wrong person, and he was taught a very tough lesson.
Our words matter.
When we are approaching any person with any subject, we can't be a Goliath, boasting about how we can do this or that, or how we have already done this or that, or how everyone else is an idiot because their way is different (but perhaps better, and we don't want to admit it) from ours.
I have met people like this. Sadly, some of them claim to know Christ. They are arrogant, and think of themselves as big and powerful- giants in their own minds. And they say hurtful things to people. They criticize, and degrade, and belittle, until everyone around them is afraid to speak up for fear of being the next target.
And they leave the shield bearer (their family, close friends, co-workers, other Christians) to defend them.
- "Oh you know how he/she is. They don't really mean it."
- "I'm sorry so-and-so said that to you. I think he/she is just having a bad day."
- "Maybe you misunderstood what he/she said. I'm sure they didn't mean it like that."
- "You're overreacting. It's not that big a deal. Shake it off and move on."
- "Don't say anything, you'll just make it worse. I know he/she hurt you. Just forgive them and try to
get over it."
Can I gently recommend that if you're the shield bearer for a Goliath in your life, that you drop the shield and let Goliath defend himself/herself? If they've started a fire with someone, let them put it out on their own. Let your Goliath learn the tough lesson. Don't discourage others from confronting them and putting a stop to their tirades. Don't always try to smooth things over and defend them. You're not helping anyone when you do that. You're actually encouraging the harmful behavior to continue.
And if you're the Goliath, stop it already. You probably don't know this, because people are always defending you behind the scenes, and you obviously have zero self-awareness, but it's probably pretty accurate for me to say no one enjoys your company. People may fear what you will say/do to them, but that isn't the same as liking you or respecting you. Your bullying isn't helping anyone. Your arrogance is not a 'breath of fresh air'. It's actually putrid.
Proverbs 8:12-14
(12) I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions.
(13) The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.
(14) Counsel is mine, and sound wisdom: I am understanding; I have strength.
The Lord is wise. He is strong. He is wisdom. And He hates pride, arrogancy, a froward (perverse) mouth.
If you're defending someone who is hurting others, your mouth is froward.
If you're hurting others with your words, your mouth is froward.
Proverbs 12:18
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.
Psalm 52:1-4
(1) Why boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty man? the goodness of God endureth continually.
(2) Thy tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.
(3) Thou lovest evil more than good; and lying rather than to speak righteousness. Selah.
(4) Thou lovest all devouring words, O thou deceitful tongue.
Psalm 31:25-26
(25) Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
(26) She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
I don't ever want to go back to being like Goliath. If I hurt you with my words, please tell me. I am not the same person I was, but I'm not completely in control of myself yet either. I ask my family for forgiveness all the time. I'm a work in progress.
And if you are hurting others with your words, search your heart and see why you're doing that. Ask God for forgiveness, then those who you've hurt.
It will be worth it, even if they end up teaching you a lesson.
Can I gently recommend that if you're the shield bearer for a Goliath in your life, that you drop the shield and let Goliath defend himself/herself? If they've started a fire with someone, let them put it out on their own. Let your Goliath learn the tough lesson. Don't discourage others from confronting them and putting a stop to their tirades. Don't always try to smooth things over and defend them. You're not helping anyone when you do that. You're actually encouraging the harmful behavior to continue.
And if you're the Goliath, stop it already. You probably don't know this, because people are always defending you behind the scenes, and you obviously have zero self-awareness, but it's probably pretty accurate for me to say no one enjoys your company. People may fear what you will say/do to them, but that isn't the same as liking you or respecting you. Your bullying isn't helping anyone. Your arrogance is not a 'breath of fresh air'. It's actually putrid.
Proverbs 8:12-14
(12) I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions.
(13) The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.
(14) Counsel is mine, and sound wisdom: I am understanding; I have strength.
The Lord is wise. He is strong. He is wisdom. And He hates pride, arrogancy, a froward (perverse) mouth.
If you're defending someone who is hurting others, your mouth is froward.
If you're hurting others with your words, your mouth is froward.
Proverbs 12:18
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.
Psalm 52:1-4
(1) Why boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty man? the goodness of God endureth continually.
(2) Thy tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.
(3) Thou lovest evil more than good; and lying rather than to speak righteousness. Selah.
(4) Thou lovest all devouring words, O thou deceitful tongue.
Psalm 31:25-26
(25) Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
(26) She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
I don't ever want to go back to being like Goliath. If I hurt you with my words, please tell me. I am not the same person I was, but I'm not completely in control of myself yet either. I ask my family for forgiveness all the time. I'm a work in progress.
And if you are hurting others with your words, search your heart and see why you're doing that. Ask God for forgiveness, then those who you've hurt.
It will be worth it, even if they end up teaching you a lesson.
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