My three children are all different. The youngest gets really crabby and starts getting into a lot of trouble. (7 yrs) That's his way of saying, "I'm lonely." The middle child gets clingy and snuggly. (10 yrs girl) My oldest gets snippy and super talkative... as in more talkative than he already is. He also gets upset quicker and very emotional.(15 yrs) When we see these signs, we know things are a little out of balance. That's when we have a family day! When they are quite content, yet still very open in their communication, we know they are satisfied.
Mine are grown and very far away, so this doesn't apply now. But, we were always with our children. We did ministry together, worked together, homeschooled, built our house together (renovation), cooked together, went shopping together. We tried to make most of the time quality time. No regrets and very thankful. Both are in full-time ministry today.
I find that we are always "together," but that doesn't mean the kids are getting the attention they need. It is difficult to balance often being with the nationals with quality time and attention for our kids. I'm not sure how to answer "how you know what's enough" but if you are trying to keep in tune with your family's emotions, you will probably see when there is a problem.
Knowing my kids' love languages is a help to me. Like Amy said, we are always "together" but that doesn't mean they are being ministered to as they need. When my oldest (11) gets a long face, I make a point of having a long chat with him, sitting down for a cup of tea or a soda (big deal around here!) His needs words of affirmation. When my middle daughter (8) needs attention she gets whiney. The best thing is to give her a fun job we can work at together. She responds to acts of service. My little one (4) is still a mystery, but I know when she gets in endless trouble, we need to play together, read books, anything one-on-one. "The Five Love Languages of Children" Gary Chapman.
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