Seeking a Day of Rest

Ministry Mama, when is your day of rest?

Haha! Hoo-hoo! What a joke, you're probably thinking. DAY? Did you say DAY of rest?

The other day I read another missionary lady's Facebook post sharing her great discouragement in the ministry and desire to quit. In typical Facebook mode, I quickly shot back a response something like this: "Take some time to rest and refresh yourself in the Lord. Everything will look better after you've rested from ___ ministry."

Then I wondered at myself. I was giving advice that I rarely have applied personally.

I happen to be married to a turbo-charged Energizer Bunny. He loves to work and constantly introspects about laziness (this is a good thing! Laziness is a common sin of missionaries.) We have often had disagreements discussions in our married life about taking a "day off," what a "day off" constitutes, etc., until we got to the point where he has a generally scheduled self-appointed "day off" which he may use for "work" around the home or just to read a book or write or whatever. But he can't do "ministry" (if possible) on that day.

Our teammate is very similar to my husband (another good thing!) So after years of their wives asking them to slow down one day per week, our teammate asked me recently, "So when do you take a day off?"

That stumped me. How does a missionary housewife and mom take time off? Not even a day, but just a chunk of time?

We are busy with caring for our children, cooking, and housework.

We are doing that in foreign countries where everything takes more time.

On top of that, most of us homeschool our children. That deserves its own line.
Homeschooling is a full-time job.

We are doing all of the above + interruptions of nationals (depending on the culture you are serving).

We can't count shopping or running errands as time off. Often those days can be more stressful than staying home to homeschool the kids on a day with meltdowns (the kids', that is) and a head cold.

And Sunday does not count as a day off. For many missionary women, Sunday can be the most draining work day of the week. You have to think and teach the most important Book in the world in another language. There is no nursery, so you still have to care for your children, (fish those pacifiers out of the dirt, take the toddlers to the outhouse--don't TOUCH anything!, is my 7-year old climbing that fig tree??), and on top of that you are usually the children's Sunday School teacher, "bus ministry" helper for all those kids whose parents don't attend, choir director, cook, sweeper, whatever. After church, you may host church members or visitors for a meal at your house.

Compound all of the above with a personality that tends towards being introverted or spiritual gifting that may not be service or teaching.

Add on a slow spiritual drain because:

• you don't fully hear sermons for years on end because it's in another language or you are busy keeping little ones quietly occupied
• you are not having meaningful quiet time at home (because of distractions)
• and you are constantly giving spiritually--you are sharpening, but no one is sharpening you; you are probably the strongest example of Christianity around.

Well...by now, anyone who is not a missionary mama of many (MMM) is officially categorizing this post as a complaining rant. That's not my point. Up till now I've just been answering potential objections by other MMMs who may smirk at me for bringing up the "day off" topic. I know that there's really no time for a day off. I myself haven't figured out what exactly to do about it.

The Creation of the Sun by Michelangelo

But God took a day off. Jesus went off by Himself to pray and be with His heavenly Father. Whatever your view of the "sabbath" or the Lord's Day, we can still appeal to God's example from the beginning of creation that we were made to rest once in a while. So we need to figure out how we can find time to rest and refresh ourselves in the Lord.

If you've ever been put on bedrest, especially with other small children already under foot, you know that when forced to, an amazing amount of important work or ministries can be put on hold. God does not need a frantic, frazzled Martha counting the half-hour slots in her day to see where she could possibly fit in that new ministry that needs to be done. God prizes the meek and quiet spirit that Mary showed, taking time to sit at Jesus' feet and learn of Him who is meek and lowly in heart. His burden is light.

I have read several blog posts by homeschooling mothers who speak of scheduling breaks or rest times for mama so that she doesn't get burned out. How much more should those thoughts apply to missionary mamas?

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

So missionary mama, please share your thoughts. How have you made time to rest? Do you take a chunk of time daily--maybe two hours each afternoon to nap, read a book, or read your Bible? My friend listens to sermons in her spare time, especially while working in the kitchen. When do you find time to hear another preacher's thoughts in English? Do you take a day off or two afternoons per week, maybe Saturday and Sunday? I realize you still have to cook and maybe do a load of laundry or two, but when do you find time to re-energize personally?

I do think it's important for our longevity in homeschooling and ministry. And if something is important, we prioritize it. So back to my question: how have YOU done this?

Burn Out

Whether you are a missionary on deputation, on furlough, or on the field, your life is busy. (Maybe that is an understatement.)

I remember one furlough. The children were both school age, and we had scheduled five missions conferences, one after the other, in several different states. The only “free time” was the necessary time on the road. By the fifth conference, I was very sick. We had been trying to keep up with homeschooling. (Maybe we should call it “van-schooling.” I was trying to teach backwards while rolling down the highway. My husband joked that he understood sixth grade math very well!) We arrived at the final conference after two full days of travel, on time and ready for anything—or so I thought.

I had no voice. We enjoyed a beautiful kick-off banquet in the gym and went into the church for the evening service. The pastor asked from the pulpit, “Sister Keiser, do you sing?” (They tell you a missionary is supposed to be able to “preach, pray, or die” at any time, but I think they should add “sing, teach, play the piano, and homeschool.”) I’m no soloist, so I replied, “I sing with the family.” Within minutes, our family quartet was on stage and belting out a missions song in both English and Spanish—well, most of us, since I couldn't sing any better than I could talk. Our daughter sang lead; so all was semi-okay. Near the end of that service, the pastor announced, “Tomorrow night, Sister Keiser will be teaching our ladies.”

When the ladies gathered in the appointed space, I realized for the first time that the “ladies” were from age three to ninety-three! Okay, be flexible. Think on your feet. How can you include the little ones? Plus, I still had no voice. I prayed one of my really profound prayers,

                                                                                                             “Lord, HELP!!!!”

He did, and I was blessed, even if no one else was. Even the little kids listened well, and we got through it. “Thank you, Lord!”

At our next destination, I crashed—emotionally, physically, you name it—crashed! I was not worth anything for about 24 hours. I felt as though I had been run over by a truck—an eighteen-wheeler—several times.

I have always questioned some of the missions songs we sing. For example, “Let me burn out for Thee, dear Lord,
Burn and wear out for Thee.
Don’t let me rust . . .
Until I burn out for Thee.”*

Does God really want us to wear out, burn out, and ultimately completely crash out? Are we supposed to serve and serve and serve and not have time to think, pray, meditate, and get close to the Lord? Are we really meant to hit our mission field running and keep running until we cannot run? What about our husband, children, family times?

Tough, isn’t it?

We have the biblical answer in one of my favorite passages, Luke 10:38-40. It is the well-known story of Jesus in the home of Mary and Martha. Martha cooked and complained, and Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word (verse 39b). Jesus called Mary’s choice that good part, which shall not be taken away from her (verse 42b).

Jesus also said, one thing is needful (verse 42a).

Think of it: both Mary and Martha had the opportunity to hear the Word of God, in person, from the mouth of their Messiah! Mary took that opportunity while Martha banged around in the kitchen, huffing and puffing about how Mary was not helping.

Jesus said one thing was needful. He did not say that it wasn't important to have dinner. He did not criticize Martha’s making a good meal. He said that His Word was most needful.

You have the demands of husband, children, homeschooling, Sunday school class, young people’s activities, and women’s meetings. You clean the church, pass out tracts, and try to keep your house in a semblance of order. You entertain guests and cook “from scratch.” You feed groups of hungry young people, organize, and plan. You do laundry for your large family and any guests you may have. You might be your husband’s secretary and write prayer letters . . . . Are we tired yet?

We have the Word of God at our fingertips. It isn't exactly the same as having Jesus in your living room, but it is still His Word, Person to person, just as it was with Mary and Martha. It is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12). The Bible is a living book. It ministers to your soul. God actually speaks in Person to you.

Are you taking the time to sit at Jesus’ feet? Are you listening to Him? Are you worshiping Him? Are you pouring your heart out in prayer?

“Oh, Sister,” you might say, “I am a missionary. Why are you writing this to me?”

I am a missionary, too. I understand the effort it takes to have a daily time with the Lord, especially when the kids are small and you are homeschooling. You have to “make” time to get to know God. Then, you really enjoy sitting at His feet. You become like Mary.

Wherewithal shall a young man (or missionary woman of any age) cleanse his (her) way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes. With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches. I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word (Psalm 119:9-16).

May we all choose that good part. It will not be taken away from us.

____________________________

*I realize that this song also holds lots of good doctrine and true missionary zeal. I only have problems with the idea of burning out. You never see that in the Bible.