Different Than I Thought

I was one of those kids who always wanted to be a missionary. Always. As long as I can remember. Even my mom says that as soon as I could talk, I started talking about being a missionary. Something about mission work fascinated me, long before I knew Christ personally. Of course, I read all the stories of missionaries like Isobel Kuhn, David Brainard, Amy Carmichael, and my favorite, Bruce Olson. I dreamed (literally!) of foreign lands, jungles, native people groups, and even other languages. I wanted to work with orphans, start an orphanage, and teach the children how to become productive members of their homeland (as opposed to just housing them until they are too old and then their children end up back in the orphanage).

From forever it seems, my call was to the orphans of Mexico; though my yearly mission trips from age 15 on took me to many different places, thanks to my parents' wisdom. I did go to Mexico- twice! There's a little girl there, well, probably older now, whom I will never forget. Yet God closed that door. I was so distraught, not knowing what to do. At 24 years of age, I was supposed to have my life planned out and on track, right? My mom is a very wise woman and told me that God probably had something else in mind, and if I just kept doing what I knew He would be pleased with, He would show me the next step. And so it was. Six months later or so, I met my would-be husband, who was support-raising to go to Georgia, Europe.

Jude, Barbara, Zachary, & Michael

What??? I'd never even heard of that place! The amount of information on the internet is minimal too. I know; I looked it up and researched as much as possible when I first met Michael. It's not a 3rd world country. Not anymore. In fact, living in the capital city of Tbilisi is much like living in a modern city in America. There are few sacrifices that I had to make. The culture is only a little strange. The language; beautiful and challenging. The people, friendly; though very staunchly religious.

The mission field sure looked different than I thought.

Lately, God has been reminding me of this truth again and again as I struggle with first-term issues:THIS IS MY CALLING.

Instead of natives, I am reaching civilized Westernized people. Instead of orphans, it is neighborhood kids with absolutely no manners or training. Instead of jungles, it's a never ending sea of people and buildings. Instead of quickly absorbing the language, I'm stuck diving deep into textbooks: still feeling quite drowned into our second year.

 I sometimes have to remind myself that I had always wanted to be a missionary, and that this is where God has sent me; my God and His plan has not changed. I can't speak the language (sufficiently). I'm not teaching Sunday school. I'm not playing music in church. We don't even have a "regular" church!!! We learn from several different local churches, led by national pastors, because we want to see how to "make church work" i.e. get it set up and running, in this culture. I'm not out of the house much, so I get little contact with the locals. I'm sending my oldest son to pre-school this fall, so I'm not even homeschooling. I'm not doing anything, really, that I would consider missionary/ministry work.

So, maybe I romanticized the foreign field a little? Or, maybe the mission field just looks different than we tend to see on church power point presentations? One thing I know: this is where God has called both me and my husband, and He has been preparing me since childhood. My children are my mission field. My language textbook is my ministry. My God is still the same God. My calling- yes, still the same. It just looks different than I thought.

So what is my ministry? My ministry is staying refreshed in God's Word, supporting my husband, loving my children, keeping house, and spending HOURS in language. I get bored learning language, I do it so much! Thankfully, God gave me a young lady to disciple whose first language is English, like me, which gives me some sense of "doing something." In the next article I write, I want to share what else God has allowed me to do so I don't go crazy not doing the ministry things that I've done my whole life. Regardless though, fellow missionary; whether your ministry looks conventional or not, whether you feel like a "real" missionary or not, please remember:

Remember God. Remember His calling. Know that you are right where He wants you. Don't give up, for "in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." -Galatians 6:9 

Lessons Learned from My First Month on the Field

Lessons learned from my first month on the field

I would not normally think that I am used to instant gratification but upon arrival in Scotland it was blaringly obvious I was very much an instant gratification person. Not to say that I get angry when I don’t get what I want when I want, but I am not used to waiting and jumping through hoops constantly. Things started quickly enough thanks to the family I am working with. They had done the whole looking at apartment thing for me and found one that was perfect for what I needed not only in price but location as well. In fact, the day I landed I paid my deposit and first month’s rent and had my keys given to me. That is when the brakes hit and they hit hard! First things first of course, I needed to pick up my biometric card from the Post Office. The biometric card is my ID here in Scotland. It shows I have a visa and a right to be here. The official paper says you must pick up the card within 10 days of arriving in the country. So, two days later I went to the Post office to get it. What I hadn’t seen on the paper is that I actually wouldn’t be ready for pick up until I had been in the country 7 days. The ladies at the Post office were very kind but brought that to my attention. So I had to think, why is it, they threaten you with being removed from the country if you don’t get it within 10 days, but they don’t send it to you until 7 days after being in town? My friends told me that this was totally normal, although I don’t think I believed them at the moment! 

So, the next step is to get a bank account and a way of communication. Don’t worry I didn’t forget about the biometric card thing. The end of that story is coming. I go down to the local bank and tell them I want to open an account. Although I did have my American ID, they required I have a piece of mail from the government such as utilities or something that proves my address. Well, you would think that would be easy right? Wrong! My utilities are “pay as you go” and so therefore, no bill. I just take the special key card to a local store, put money on it and plug it into my machine and voila! Electric and heating! So the man at the bank said I needed something else. We looked into what I would need and made the necessary contacts to make that happen. The only problem, it would take about 2 weeks just to get that mail in. Meanwhile, I went to the mobile phone place to look into a phone. Their regulations are I must have a Scottish bank account. 

At least I did get to go to Ikea and Costco and get some much needed items and found some things on a good sale such as a bed frame (which I thought would be harder to come by for a good price). Once we got my bed frame put up, it was time to order a mattress. Went to the local mattress store, found a good one on sale and that was that. Or so I thought! When I paid for it, we discussed delivery. I could get it delivered but it wouldn’t be delivered for two and a half weeks! So we asked what if we just took it ourselves? Still won’t be ready for two and a half weeks. I had to resign myself to realizing I wasn’t going to be staying in my new flat for some time. 

Now back to the biometric card. I went in the exact date it said it would be ready. Nope! Not there. Once again sweetest ladies ever, and the one in charge said to check back in two more days. I also got an email address from her to email the proper place should it not come in. I was a bit worried and yes a bit frustrated. Now I began to understand what the missionaries were saying. 

Getting something done here is just plain and simply not easy. Oh, I love it here and everything about this country but I am realizing how good we had it in the states. After a few attempts at trying to find out if my official government paper had been sent out, it finally arrived. I was so excited! Finally able to open a bank account and just in time too, my next rent was due in 4 days! I happily took my ID and my paper with my name and address on it to the bank. I dealt with a different person that day. I gave her my required items and after a moment she said she didn’t think that would work. That not only did I need that official document, but I had to send the application back in and get what they called a National Insurance Number (which, by the way, takes over two months to get). I was almost heart broken. Then she said, wait, do you have a letter from your employer? If I could get a letter addressed to the Bank from my employer (aka the church) it would work instead. Well, of course, we could do that just fine! Wish someone had mentioned that the first time we went in!!! Went back an hour later with letter in hand and opened an account. I am too pampered in the states! 

Bank account in place and now it’s time to go get my mobile phone. That would be easy right? Walk in, tell them you want a phone, give them your bank account particulars, and immediately get denied because I haven’t been in this country long enough to build credit. Those pesky rocks of reality dashing my hopes and dreams again! I could have gone with “pay as you go” for that as well, but the phone price out of pocket was staggering and something I just didn’t want to do. Thankfully my amazing coworkers in the ministry offered to add a line to their account and I could pay them monthly for mine! 

So now the time comes for my mattress to finally be delivered and I get to stay in my own flat! I went grocery shopping and filled my fridge (which also was a huge and crazy story as to how I obtained that)! Decided it was time to try out my oven. Much to my dismay, there are absolutely NO markings on the oven. The thing is so old, it’s all worn away. I fiddled around with the stovetop and figured approximately what was a high setting and low setting. After about a month of waiting I was able to get a new one from the landlord.

You may wonder if things are starting to settle down? Yes they are and I am learning that I am not always going to find what I am looking for and that’s ok. The choices we enjoy in the states are not the same in other countries. You want a solid deodorant instead of a roll on or spray? That is hard to come by. So when you see it buy it, it may be the last one you find! How about canned chicken for easy meals? Every form of canned meat is on the shelves EXCEPT chicken. So I am learning. I am learning to find another way to do things. I am learning that if you see what you are looking for get it, because there is a huge chance it won’t be there tomorrow. And I am learning that that is ok. 

Amongst all this set back and frustration, one thing remains the same. My God! He is faithful and loving and has taught me a lot about leaning on Him even in these frustrations. I have begun to teach children’s church here on Sundays and by the end of the year, we will be starting a mid-week youth program as well. I am doing what I have always dreamed of doing and enjoying the lessons along the way. As I look out my window down to George Street here in the City Centre of Perth, I still have a hard time believing I am here. This is my new home! After traveling for 3 years of deputation, it’s strange to be buying a bed and a microwave and dishes and putting down roots. But it’s a good strange. Will things always be happy go lucky? No, we all know that. But one thing I will cling to for as long as God allows me to serve here in Perth: “Faithful is He who calleth you who also will do it."

By Deana Hewston

Missionary to Scotland

Pictures of Missions

Confession...

I struggled. I was trying to prepare my weekly post for this week, and it just wasn't coming together. I was pressed for time. I was stressed. Then God put on my heart to ask a friend if God had put something on her heart to share on the blog. Sure enough, God had! She had such a passion and desire to share something God had taught her recently and was just waiting for Him to open the door.

What she shared touched my heart, and I hope it touches yours, too.

Missions doesn't always look like what we imagine. No, it's way better.

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Not Much to Show for All That

Last week was the 10th anniversary of the day Seth began his work in South Africa.

10 years! That seems like a respectable amount of time to dedicate to a people not your own. I think we can officially be counted out of the "newbie" crowd now. :) We have completed a full decade of missionary service. (Well, actually, if you deduct furloughs, all of those 10 years haven't been here. It's actually more like 9 years.)

Now the pressure is on.

"10 years! And that's all you've got to show for it?" If we were better missionaries, wouldn't we have planted two churches by now? Or at least one? I mean--that's our job, right?

10 years...

You know, the first two terms people can excuse you mentally for your failure to produce a self-supporting church. It's your first term! Everyone knows that the first term is kind of a wash in the end. Hopefully in your first term, you accomplished that huge job summarized in an inadequate phrase called "learning the language and culture." Ha. After ten years, you know that although you can get a good start on those things in your first term, you never stop learning in those areas. So if you've got nothing really tangible after your first term to show for the furlough pictures except for a few converts and the pronouncement that you've "learned the language and culture," then that's pretty much all that can be expected from the first term.

And even your second term failure to produce an independent church can be excused because you're still just getting going. Your church is just beginning. Your work is still in the baby stages.

But after 10 years, no more excuses. We should start hearing pretty soon that you've got a church standing on its own two feet, and you're already starting your next one or two church plants. At least that's how I feel. No one from the States really makes me feel that way. I make me feel that way.

Missionary work can be the most humbling job on earth. Every day, you receive new little reminders of how you're not that great; or even if you think you really are, how no one else seems to see it. :) (Why?! haha) Every day you make language or cultural bloopers; people in your host culture don't know about or appreciate the gifts you had that were appreciated in America. They're not only not grateful that you've given your life to them, but also seem everlastingly stymied at your purpose for being there. (And we haven't even begun to explain homeschooling yet.)

And your churches in America have changed so much. People who cheered when their church took you on for support have moved or grown up or fallen away or died, and you've been forgotten by some. People who stroked your ego in the past about how gifted you were and how you would change the world are now quiet, outside of a soft question--"How's it going? How's the church?"

How to answer? It's really the same...or a little better...maybe worse right now. Please don't think we don't like to be asked about our church. We do. We know you care if you ask! But we're thinking, and wondering if our old supporter and friend is thinking, "After 10 years...how's the church? When will it be done? Accomplished?" That's what we'd all like to know, right?

Seth and I joke that we're the Discount Missionaries. We are able to live in this area for 50-60% of the usual costs of missionaries in other areas. But sometimes we wonder if our churches feel the other way--like we're the Discount Missionaries in output. You get what you pay for, you know!

When we first came here, we had a 5-year, 10-year, and 20-year plan. Oh, the wonderful things we were going to do according to that plan. (Did anyone else have a Dr. Suess deja vu moment there? "Oh, the wonderful things Mr. Brown can do!")

Sometimes your disappointments can cause you to be disappointed in God Himself.
"God, I gave up my life for You. Now YOU'RE supposed to make me successful! I don't have the power to save, to convict, to draw men to myself!" What can we do when His hand does not save? And how we long to see true change, revival in people's hearts--the kind we've read about: the drunkard who sobered instantly and became a provider for his household; the seekers walking five miles to hear the Word. So when we aren't seeing those things, whose fault is it? Ours, God's, or the cultures? Or all of the above?

All this can be summarized in the question: Why is it so slow? Why is missionary work so slow?

I've got a few thoughts on why that is so.

First, why would we think that it would be quick? We come from a culture that increased its wealth and power over centuries because of a Biblical worldview. Why would we think that anything of value would come quickly without hard work? Our culture has become hasty with all of its technology and time-saving devices. We expect quick, well-done work.

But even in the States, you don't see too many churches experiencing explosive growth and revival. Most churches struggle to stay at about the same membership rate, fighting against attrition rates and love of this present world, trying to keep the youth, trying to encourage members to have a heart for evangelism--to get beyond needing marriage counseling and be able to have an outward focus.

Most church plants in the States take several years before they are self-supporting, even with all of the helps they receive through other Christian Americans who join their church to help start their membership or who help with advertising or come over to fill the pews or do music for a big-impressive kickoff Sunday service. Why would we expect things to move quicker in a place where there were no Christians whatsoever to hop over from a former church, where there is no Biblical worldview at all, and where literacy and education is lacking or under-valued?

If in the States, we're bemoaning the lack of passion for Christ and godliness in our youth groups, why would we think a church built on youth in Africa, youth who have no Christian parents and none of the advantages of those youth in American churches, would be doing better, just for one example?

Secondly, think of the nature of growth. Trees and men take twenty years to grow strong. The Bible describes our Christian life with pictures of growth: babies desire milk, so you should desire the Word; but when you grow strong, you are able to eat meat. A church will be similar, because a church is made up of all those people busy growing in the way the Bible describes. It takes time to grow.

In the States there are many godly men who serve the church as laymen without feeling called to the ministry. But on the mission field, it seems like you should grab the first male church member you get and throw him into the pastorate. "Lay hands suddenly on no man." On the mission field, in our eagerness to declare a church successfully planted, we put people into the ministry who would probably not have been considered worthy in the States. That doesn't necessarily mean they are unworthy. But even seminary training in the States takes 3-6 years, with the already-laid foundation of church background or at least a more Biblical worldview in the culture.

Think about how many youth recently left your church to go study at seminary in order to enter the ministry? If the percentage of people desiring the office of a pastor is small in the strongest Christian nation in the world, shouldn't we expect it to be MUCH harder to find a man fitting the qualifications of a pastor in a heathen culture? And that it would take MUCH more time to train him to be fit to lead a church in a very dark culture?

When I read of Paul's missionary journeys, I admit that I am baffled. He planted a church in three weeks (Thessalonica, Acts 17:1-2)?! How? But when I think about what the typical missionary in a pagan culture is up against, really, we should be amazed and encouraged at the evidence of the Holy Spirit's work. There have been true conversions, and it is those conversions that give us special strength and encouragement.

Brethren, pray for us. Satan's forces are strong, and the warriors for our side are few. In the next few weeks, I will share with you some of the verses that have been the most encouraging to us to persevere in the ministry--for 10 years! Praise Him.

Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving (Part 2)

(Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving Part 1)

Our birthdays were one week apart; so we chose every year to celebrate them together. Jason's Mom and I even planned our own birthday get-togethers. We would conspire if we wanted a cookout or if we wanted to go out to eat. We chose the menu, the dessert, and location. Then we would pass the information on to the guys. It was their job to make our plans happen.

Sharon (Gramma) and I were quite a pair. And we loved sharing our special day together because we loved each other so much. I never had a reason to complain about my mother-in-law. She was amazing!

Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving (Part 1)

It was a simple mistake. A miscalculation. A wrong assumption. And it was my fault.

In Hot Water

I have to admit…

It is easy to be negative here.  I am actually a pretty positive, optimistic person by nature, but there is something about this place that can bring out the critical person in me… the trash, the overcrowded city, the “me first” mentality of the culture, the traffic torture, the pagan rituals, the dogs barking, the horns honking at 3 a.m., the mosquitoes…

(Chief with his rat... I hate rats. Good boy, Chief! We caught five in two days!)

Yes, they can bring out the worst in me… um… pretty easily.

The Perpetual Rookie

Jason used to work at a dairy processing plant. He worked there for around 17 years total. It was a practice in his department at this dairy plant to give everyone a nickname. When he would tell me stories about his workplace, I would hear about people named Cornbread and Redneck. There was one guy called Buttermilk... and one of my favorite names... Jughead. So what name did Jason get? Rookie. He even had a nametag with "Rookie" on it. The name stuck around for his whole career at the dairy plant.

Rookie (n.)- Someone who is new to a sport or profession. A novice. (How can someone be a rookie for 17 years?)

Missionary Monday - Advice for the New Missionary (part 2)...

Missed part 1?  Click here.  As mentioned last week, this question was posted on our BMW facebook group page:

What advice would you share with new missionaries

to help them adjust and survive the first term?

We had a great response.  Here is some advice from veteran missionaries. (Since there was so much great advice given, this will be in two parts!)...

- I am only in my second term, but one thing that has helped me tremendously is remembering that I am not the first missionary woman to have faced this (whatever it may be) challenge. So many godly women of all ages and in all stages of life have gone before me. Get to know the other missionaries within the country and glean from their wisdom about the culture, family life, and ministry opportunities.  -Hannah

 

- Balance sure is the key. Our kids go everywhere with us, but we have family day on Tuesday, and it is sacred!!  -Althea
 

- Patience. Lots of patience--learning the culture, learning the language, etc. No matter what language, it takes months to be able to hear and use the language with fluency; and some languages take years. You have to have a lot of patience with yourself.  -Marcia
 

- 1. Where you can--. develop and encourage the local customs in your home--example: we eat Japanese food with whatever utensil they would use i.e. chopsticks, spoons, etc.; we leave our shoes downstairs in the entryway; we learned the words used for entrance and leaving; we learned the way to bow to various 'types' of people, etc... Your testimony in spiritual things will go a whole lot further if you try to do as they do when it is no harm to your personal testimony. When it does, we politely stand away from it, and now they know what we don't partake in and are not offended.
2. Encourage godly biblical associations with missionaries that may be in your general area because you need fellowship, but be careful of SO needing English speakers around you that you eventually break down your stand. We didn't have this problem because we started in the non-computer era--but be careful of filling the needs for English, family (from far away), etc. that your time around your daily schedule is filled with computer time so that eventually you are not developing relationships with those you seek to reach.
Those are the main two I would think to add to the family matters that have already been talked about. And #2 I even have to be careful even after 30 years--not so much because I need the English speaking, etc...that isn't the reason any more--it's the grandkids and family I have on the other side of the world that could take up a lot more of my time than I should. And God bless--those struggles you go through the first couple years especially can be overwhelming at times--take them to the Lord in prayer--He will meet you there!!  -Vicki
 

-  I agree with the ladies in finding your ministry. Yes, my family is my #1 priority, but it helped when I could be more involved. I started a ladies' Bible study, and we meet weekly. I look forward to it each week, and it gets me deeper into God's Word. I also helped start a weekly co-op with our homeschool group. This has been a huge blessing. I also have made time to take one of the ladies from church out for lunch every week or so. Please note, I'm not boasting, just sharing what has helped me. Another thing that helped me was I prayed and asked God for an Aussie friend who would help me learn the culture. Although Australia is similar to America, there are still many differences. The Lord brought me a wonderful friend who helped me with the different words from cooking to just learning the area so I could be more independent. Most importantly, and this is for whether it's your first term or tenth, keeping your relationship with God as your priority is key. When you feel friends and family have deserted you, He is ALWAYS there.  -Jen
 

- Before we had children, I was involved in many different ministries. When I had three children who were three and under, I could not be as involved in all of the ministries that I had been doing. It was a discouragement at times because it felt like I did not do anything at all at the church, but balance is definitely the key. Now, our oldest child is eight, and the youngest is four. They are able to do ministry related things with us. It is important not to neglect your family, but at the same time, you do not want to completely neglect the ministry either.  -Laura
 

- I remember arriving in Panama a few years ago with a five year old, an almost three year old, and an almost two month old baby and feeling like I was "treading water" in relation to ministry, no energy, confused in the language, etc. I was feeling downright depressed, like I couldn't balance a plate, let alone life! I remember a wise missionary lady encouraging me to dig in and relish this time of life, that I was training my co-laborers in the ministry. Now, a few years down the road and having added another precious baby to our family, I have lots of things I can do in the ministry and lots of things that my babies (now 9, 7, 4, and 7 months) do right alongside me. I feel blessed to have more energy now and a better handle on my fit in our ministry. Sometimes the "little years" with your children can feel like slogging through in slow motion, but when you keep focused on Christ, stay in communication with your husband, and realize how short the years really are, you will turn around one day and have the best of both worlds when your children and outside ministry really start working in harmony or synergistically. I love having my kiddos ask me when we/they can go make visits, hand out tracts, sing a special, take up the offering, attempt to lead music, work with the children, etc. They are having a great time and don't even realize they are working a ministry.  -Ruth

 

 

-  Lots of great advice here! We've only been on the field for (almost) eight years, but I would say to be teachable. Sometimes new missionaries feel as though they already know everything there is to know about the mission field, when in reality there is so much you can learn from the other missionaries as well as from the native people. 


I've also noticed that sometimes the missionary wife does not like her country, and that not only cultivates a spirit of bitterness in her heart but also in her children's. Try to love the people and the place in which God has placed you. Look for the good in everything, and you'll always find something.  -Carole
 

- I would say encourage your family back home to not always be mentioning everything you are missing and how much they miss you. I know my family misses me, but they tell me how much they love me and are praying for me. As a result, I don't feel guilty about not being there for every family function. I have missed some pretty big things, but they get it, and so do I. I have seen missionaries miserable and have a hard time adjusting to their field because their heart is still in the US. Another thing is don't allow or teach your children to think they are missing out on things because they are mks or that they "deserve" something because of it. I worked with several couples who were great in this area . They emphasized how many cool things they got to experience because they were in ministry. Instead of growing up with a sense of entitlement, they grew up with servants' hearts. Make friends with nationals and spend time in their culture aside from ministry...it will be an encouragement to them and you, not to mention for those learning the language immersion is the best way. So, one for singles...remember your mission...it's not about finding a spouse. If the Lord provides in that area fine, but be careful as the decisions you make can greatly affect the ministry you are involved in...in good and bad ways. Remember relationships between guys and girls on a foreign field are NOT always looked at the same as in the States. Be accountable to someone; it's a great idea for you and your testimony.  -Cynthia
 

- I second the comment about being teachable and learning all you can from other missionaries on the field. So many times I was my own obstruction as I wanted to ask a question of an older/more experienced missionary about the culture or an aspect of ministry or life in general. I would figure out what I wanted to say but then back off because of not wanting to seem like I was denigrating the country, culture, or people and wind up offending someone when all I really wanted was to understand. Sometimes ya just gotta stick your neck out!  -Ruth
 

- One more thing; if you are serving God, you are going to be under attack all the time. You experienced that on deputation, but during the time that you are adjusting to the language and culture, the attack will most likely be more focused. You are going through so many changes, and it can be confusing. You will NOT be able to see all of Satan's designs against you. You don't have a chance to survive spiritually if you aren't plugged into Christ every day. Do not, do not neglect your spiritual life. It is over all the most important thing that will help you survive when you are depressed, keep you from being overwhelmed, and help you to remember the blessings that we have as His servants. Then there's another type of attack when you get comfortable where you are, and you don't feel so desperately in need clinging to Christ every minute. Yes, you still need Him. What I'm saying is, don't let any change in your life push you to neglect your spiritual life. Keep a close eye on it, and when you feel out of balance, make the changes you need to get centered back on Him! This is my greatest challenge by far, and the thing I struggle with more than anything.  -Sarah

- Realize it's a process. Be teachable. Cling to The Lord.  -Lisa
 

Did we miss something?  Do you have anything to add?  Please leave a comment!

Missionary Monday - Advice for the New Missionary (part 1)...

This question was posted on our BMW facebook group page:

What advice would you share with new missionaries

to help them adjust and survive the first term?

We had a great response.  Here is some advice from veteran missionaries. (Since there was so much great advice given, this will be in two parts!)...

- Occupy as much of your time as possible with learning the language. Have daily lessons and spend lots of time with non-English speaking locals. Also, try to make contact with another missionary in the country (if there is one) with whom you can fellowship and from whom you can learn. Also, don't be expecting all of your old friends and family members to keep in touch. Some will, but most will only be able to keep it up for the first year (if that). Don't set yourself up for a major disappointment. It was the toughest lesson of my first term.  -Suzy

- Leave America and what you miss behind. Make this your HOME. You'll never feel 'at home' in America again anyway, to be honest. Love, love, love (through Christ) the people in your new country and be humble and teachable always. -Joy

- Adjusting takes time. Even after you are "adjusted," there will still be those "culture shock" days when everything seems foreign. At times when you are feeling overwhelmed, remember Proverbs 3:5-6. Worrying is "leaning to our own understanding." No matter what the circumstance, we can fully trust in the Lord.  We still at times get culture shock ten years later. Oh, and when you return to the States, you will also have culture shock  -Laura

- I am only in my first term....and not at all experienced; however, I would suggest that you and your family get a nice, clean, comfortable and big enough place to live....one that you (the wife) just love!! Depending on where you are (mission field), language may not even be the issue. The biggest issue for me was the house thing; we looked at many that just made me cry. Then, we found one that I did not think we would ever get...(thought it was out of our range), but God provided.  -Faith Ann

- Don't be surprised by the strong feelings of homesickness. God made us to become attached to family and what we are used to; so it is normal. I feel more homesick over missing family members' kids growing up than anything else. It helps me to acknowledge the ache and be thankful for the privilege to serve God in the same moment. It is not wrong to live with unfulfilled longings because God can use these in a powerful way in our lives!  -Sarah

-  I would say every time you think of something negative about where you live, make yourself think of something positive. Do your best not to compare. Laugh at your mistakes because the natives will!  -Althea

- Don't be cocky. You will alienate those who eventually can be some of the dearest people to you - other missionaries.  -Maureen

- Definitely spend time learning the language!!!! It can't be over emphasized, and it defines your limitations as to what kind of ministry YOU the wife will have. Also, pray early for God to give you a love for the people to whom you will be ministering. He will, and the people will see if you are genuine or not. Also, ladies, strive to have a ministry of your own. I do not mean to offend anyone with this, but I did not come all the way to Siberia to wash dishes and teach my children at home. Those are wonderful ways I can serve my family and provide a Christian education for my children, but I want the Lord to use me directly in the ministry. In Russia, for example, most of the first contacts you have with people are through the wives or ladies. We need to be able to meet them, make friends with them, invite them to church or find other ways to invite them to church activities in order to see them come to Christ. My hubby cannot do that as well as I can! Pray and ask God to use you in more ways than a wife, mother, and housewife. Strive to be needed in the ministry on the mission field, not just a wallflower! Get involved! Pray for God to show you new ways to reach out to women and children and get in there and serve God!  -DeeDee

- I would say to be very careful about comparing yourselves to other missionaries, especially those who have been on the field longer than you have. I did this with material things. I saw the conveniences other wives had and did not understand what it took for them to get to that place. They had been there and accumulated things for years! I now understand that you will not "have it all" your first term or maybe even your second or third. My biggest lesson I learned was to be content with the things God gave me and the ministry He gave us. You also have to learn that the other missionaries have spent years building a ministry, and you will not have that same type of ministry right off the bat. Oh, and you will make mistakes. Get over it, only Jesus did everything right. Learn from your mistakes and let God disciple you on the field. -Sarah

- Take one day at a time. Get up every morning and ask God to help you get through that day, and then thank Him at night when the day is done. Everything from language to culture takes time, and you can get overwhelmed if you try to take it all on at once. -Marty

- A very wise woman told me to just be myself and not to feel like I had to be like other missionaries. It is very true. God made you who you are for a reason, and He uses your special talents and personality to reach even that one person who needs to know the Lord as their Saviour. That first move is always scary, but once you get settled in and into a rhythm of doing things where you are, things are not so bad. -Amanda

- Have certain times (like holidays) when you try to do things the 'American' (or Australian, Canadian etc.) way, but don't spend every day comparing everything to America. You'll drive yourself (and everyone around you) crazy! Realize that just because it's not the way you did it 'back home' doesn't mean it's the wrong way.  -Amanda

-  Balance, Balance and more balance! I agree that we need to have a ministry to call our own. When my children were young, (we came to the field when they were 3, 4, 5, 9, 10) I felt "home bound" because I was raising, homeschooling, and feeding my kids. So, I wrote in the front of my Bible, "As long as you have your husband and children to tend to, THEY ARE your ministry." I remember someone once said, "I'm investing in my children because someday when they are grown, my ministry will be multiplied through their ministry." It must have worked because our eldest son and his wife are here ministering to the Russian people; our second son and his family will be joining us this summer; our eldest daughter is married to a man called to Russia; our second daughter is already back here working and ministering with us, and our youngest is in medical school desiring to serve the Lord through medical missions. So, I feel that I'm reaping fruit from all these ministries because I was faithful to my main ministry of the family while our children were growing up. If you have a wonderful church ministry yet lose your children because they resent the ministry and think that it stole your attention from their needs, you've lost big time. So, like I said, "Balance, balance, balance!" It doesn't mean you can't have a ministry; it means that you should involve your children in whatever ministry you have and make it their ministry too. Hope this is understandable- I'm not condemning, just saying what worked for me.  -Kathy

Come back next week for part 2.

Do you have anything to add?  We would love to hear your comments.