Open wide: be satisfied!

Well, our week has pretty much been filled up with the arrival of our newest family member. I had him pretty much to myself, as my husband had to stay with the other boys because they were sick. More than just enjoying a new baby though, it struck me once again how I am in a relationship with God. He is my Father; I am very much to be like this newborn baby. God promises to provide all my needs (and even desires!) if I will just wholly look unto Him and rely on Him.

One verse especially kept returning to my mind:

"I am the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it." Psalm 81:10

Just recently have I been reading this very story in the Old Testament during my devotions. God brings his people out of Egypt in a miraculous way. They are now "newly born" into His care. They have no army. No stores of food. No water. -All they can do is wholly rely upon the Lord as He provides. Again. And again. And again!

Little Paul doesn't know where the food comes from or how it all works. All he knows is to open his mouth WIDE and it is filled. He has to open wide, or it just doesn't work. It's not, open a little and receive a little; it's all or nothing. Open wide, be satisfied.

This simple truth has put me back in awe of my Heavenly Father. I need to open wide to receive His blessings and provision. There's no room for worry. I am incapable of providing for myself sufficiently; that's the Father's job. He has so much awaiting me, if I would only be open. Wide open. Praying. Trusting. Relying. As a newborn baby. This is the way to perfect contentment.

For the Days when Everyone Else's Lives Look Better Than Your Own ~ Guest Post

Day in and day out I'm surrounded by possibilities.
What I choose to look at is one of them.
This modern interconnected world offers a door wide open into life anywhere I might want to go and anything I might want to see.
All these images offer up a tempting feast, inviting me to taste it all....
and it all looks good.
Most of the time it looks much better than my life right now.

In fall it's the images of leather boots and chunky-knit sweaters crunching through lanes sheltered by towering trees of gold and crimson.
It's pictures of perfectly orange pumpkins lined up in rows and sweet children with flushed cheeks beaming over their cups of cider.

Rarely are there photos of the pouring rain, the little one covered in mud from a tumble in the pumpkin patch, or two young ones fighting over the same pumpkin.

In winter it's the perfectly-built snowman, each button eye perfectly placed, carrot nose long and orange.
The snow is falling softly through the dusky, sparkling twilight.
Fires glow in fire places, children sit quietly sipping hot chocolate while dad reads a story that everyone listens to with sparkling eyes and contented smiles.

It's never shares of patchy, slushy gray snow that's been around for weeks, the chapped cheeks and fingers from the biting wind, or a house that's been ripped apart by the wild ones with cabin fever when the temperature won't budge over one degree for weeks on end.

Homeschooling is a delight with curated stacks of shiny, picturesque books, clay jars of sharply-pointed colored pencils, and neat stacks of faintly-lined notebook paper.
The children are always wearing the most-fashionable clothes, each hair neatly combed in place, and happy smiles on each face.

I've yet to see a home school feed where the books are falling apart, bound back together with a good dose of clear tape and strict orders that only mother can touch those books.
It's rare to see those lovely pencils as stubs, rolling under foot and on table and down into the edges of the couch where they were last used.
Not too many portraits shared of the little students in their dirty play clothes, hair bedraggled and bit dirty at the end of the day, being ordered outside with that stick to clean up the mess already!

Nature study photos always reveal exciting new finds.
Journals are faithfully kept, and each sketch is accurate and detailed and a miniature piece of art.

The pupils can't wait to head outside each day to learn more about God's creation.

I'm quite sure that not every child runs beaming outside to record the science living and breathing around them, though I don't think I've ever seen the pictures to prove that.

Homes are full of giggling children, each happy to be working with the other.
Chores are finished in record time, and each one checked-off on the adorable job chart hanging on the stainless steel refrigerator.
Food is prepared with plenty of helping hands cooking nutritious, delicious meals, most of it either raised in the family garden or purchased at the nearby farmers' market.

But I'm quite sure that somewhere there are siblings arguing a bit, chores that didn't get checked off that neat little chart {quite possibly they haven't been checked off for a week!}, a mother frustrated by all the finger prints on that shiny fridge, and food that might not be the most healthy, and might.....just possibly.....have come from a fast-food joint.

 I have come to realize that these beautiful images might be just that. Images.
They are a memory that someone wants to hold onto.
Nothing more.
That table loaded with all those tempting morsels to try?
If I don't have discernment, they can be poison.
Maybe they are someone's memories, but maybe they are a temptation of discontentment wrapped in a shiny package.

How often do I look at others' pictures and think my life should look the same?
Do I take time and acknowledge the fact that all of us share our happy images, our joyful moments, our best hair days, our most gourmet meals, the days when everything is actually going well instead of crumbling to pieces at our feet?

I usually snap the photos when the little ones aren't dirty, or covered in paint for the second time in one day, or haven't just been caught dumping out an entire bottle of shampoo in the bottom of the shower while mama was trying to get supper on the table.
Why wouldn't others do the same?

I catch up the things I want to remember, and frankly, some things I don't really need a picture of to do that.
As a mama of little people, the rough days aren't forgotten too quickly.

Many days I choose to take the pictures I do because I need to hunt for the beauty around me.
Why then do I look at all those images available to me, and assume that every one else must have a perfect life that looks exactly like their blog, their facebook timeline, or their Instagram feed?

And why, oh why, do I sometimes choose to waste my time looking at pretty pictures of other peoples' lives rather than living my own?

God, Help me choose wisely and well how I spend my time. Help me not feel obligated to do things just because I see others doing them. Remind me that I have just one life to live. Help me live it well. When I do have time to see the beauty others have captured, guard my heart against envy and discontentment. I want to appreciate it all for what it is ~ lovely memories that others have been kind enough to share. Give me wisdom to know when enough is as good as a feast. Amen.

*Sharing my happy images here and hoping everyone knows that my life has it's ups and downs, good days and bad days, just like yours. And sometimes? It's easy to wish my life looked as pretty as somebody else's.


This is post was written by Patty, missionary wife in Ghana.  To read more, click here to go to her blog.

The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side of the Ocean

We all tend to think that everyone else has it easier and better than we have. We've noticed this sentiment in some of our church members.

• One young man says he wants to start a church (a noble idea), but not here in the village. He's going to plant a church in __ (some village near a city several hours away--that doesn't speak his mother tongue.) Why not a village closer to home that speaks Tsonga? Because there's such a need there, or it would just be better in some way.
• Another young man decides to take a similar job with similar pay (to the current one) in another city. Why not stay close to his family, his village, and his home church? Oh, that job will be better somehow.
• Another young man says that an internship with a church in the city will better prepare him for rural ministry than the local Bible college started specifically to prepare men for rural ministry. Why? The city has so many more attractions, including preaching in English, etc.
• Young ladies think that getting a cleaning job in the city would be better than staying home and mothering their children.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Change and newness help to make a different position seem better, and sometimes there is some truth to that. Sometimes the other situation genuinely is better.

I remember going back to America for a quick visit in 2011 during America's summertime. The grass was so green, the flowers so colorful! I kept exclaiming, "It's so beautiful! It's so beautiful!" Africa has a beauty of its own, but it is rugged, wild, and untamed; in the parts filled with bush grass and thorny overgrowth, you really have to search for the beauty.

Searching for a bird's nest

Beauty in thorns

This temptation comes often to missionaries. Perhaps it comes to everyone in the ministry, but I can only speak for the missionary. I got to thinking about this because of a recent Facebook discussion in which a BMW asked whether being a missionary wife was essentially the same thing as being a pastor's wife (just in a different field--which obviously makes it totally different! But you get the idea of the question.)

Most BMW responders quickly and confidently pointed out the extra difficulties a missionary wife faces in ministry that a pastor's wife in America wouldn't. But one BMW noted that ministry was actually easier for her in many respects as a missionary wife than it had been as a pastor's wife. She mentioned the squabbles, criticisms, and cliques that she experienced in her American ministry; in contrast to the complete acceptance and love she experienced from the nationals in her host country.

In a difficult or disappointing stretch in ministry, which may occur more frequently than the encouraging times, a missionary may hear of friends ministering in America and think about how easy their ministry would be if they were there. If only I were there, my church would be bigger, better, more like Christ! I would be more appreciated, more respected, and the flock would actually follow my (husband's) advice. We wouldn't have to deal with all this ___ (immorality, apathy, drunkenness, laziness, etc.)

Missionaries can also fall into the foolish trap of comparing fields. If only we were in Missionary Z's field, our ministry would be more successful. They have it much easier because of... It is so much harder to serve here due to the burned-over territory from the prosperity gospel, or the idolatry, or the animism, or the atheism, or whatever, than it would be to serve in their country.

But remember that you don't have the whole picture! Perhaps they also wish to trade places because of their own silent trials.

Yes, some of that thinking may be valid, fair, and true. A few missionaries have shown no qualms in saying they "could never do what you do." I even included a question on this topic on my get-to-know-ya missionary questionnaire for the BMW blog: what makes your field difficult? (Because we all think that our field is the hardest for some reason, and some of those reasons are legitimate.)

But it's not good; it's not lovely; it's not of good report; it's not praise. 



As Thanksgiving and Christmas approach--holidays when many missionaries, especially newbies, are homesick, this grass-is-greener syndrome may pop up. But let's just call it what it is. It's discontent. It's a failure to praise God "in everything." It is bitterness against God for putting you in a place so removed from the comforts of home and then apparently not making you successful there. It's pride, because you compare your successes and failures with another's and can only be content with your situation if you look the best at the end of the comparison.

The grass may truly be greener on the other side of the ocean. And yet it may not. But that's not where you are. And you are commanded to think on praiseworthy things and to praise God in everything--where you are.


 

A Sour Milk Kind of Week

"Don't cry over spilled milk."
I'm pretty sure that old adage didn't mean that I couldn't cry over the two gallons of spoiled milk that flew out of my warm refrigerator and covered me and half my kitchen in a fatty, drippy mess Saturday morning.

It had been one of "those" weeks, really.
Monday started out a bit rocky, then Daddy volunteered to take the three-year-old to the market while the baby was napping and the older two were schooling.  It helped get us back on track, and I was looking forward to the rest of the week. Daddy headed out to buy fresh milk Tuesday morning. I knew I'd have to process it and cool it as best I could, because our electricity was due to be off most of the day, but if the lights came back on at 6 p.m., I didn't think we'd have too much trouble. The milk arrived about noon, but it was more than I'd planned on. I processed it and cooled it as best I could, and put the mostly cooled milk into my mostly cool refrigerator. We have a tropicalized refrigerator, which means that they are built to retain the cold longer, and as long as the electric company kept there end of the bargain, all would be well.
They didn't.
The magical hour of six o'clock came and went, and nothing happened.
I pasted a smile on my face and went about finishing supper in the semi-darkness. At 6:41 p.m. the lights came back on..............not that I was paying attention to the clock or anything. At 7:05 p.m. they went off again. Back on a few hours later, and then back off again a few more times all through the night.
Thus proceeded the rest of my week.
Lights on, lights off.
Lights on, lights off.
Lights on, lights off.
And every time the electricity went off, all I could think of was that milk in the refrigerator.

*I will add here, that when you live in a place with unstable electricity, all those warnings I heard growing up about food spoilage absolutely get thrown out the window, because if you followed those?
Well, you'd be pitching everything at least once or twice a week!
Those warnings? We like to think of them more as suggestions :)
And trust me, we have lots of practice when knowing if something is really bad enough to be thrown out!
I will also add here that our milk comes straight from the cow, is vat pasteurized by me, and does not go rancid very easily. If we ever have any that lasts more than seven days, I just make it into cottage cheese.

When I went to make hubby and me a cup of hot chocolate with the milk on Thursday night, I realized my milk was in trouble. As I heated it in the pan, it started separating into curds and whey.... We skipped the cocoa. Our lights had been so bad at this point that I just knew that we'd have electricity on Friday. I'd make my huge pot of milk into several tons of cottage cheese then. Bad choice. Friday's electricity was worse than the rest of week's put together and it just carried right into Saturday morning. At this point I figured out that we'd not had electricity about 20 of the last 24 hours.....not that I was counting or anything. Saturday morning I walked into my kitchen hoping to at least be able to salvage a few things out of my thoroughly warm refrigerator. I knew the milk would not be one of those things. I pulled the door open.......................
Well, you read the first paragraph.
Milk ~ spoiled, rotten, clumpy, warm, slimy, smelly flew out of the refrigerator and landed all over everything, me included.
I spent a lot of time scrubbing my kitchen Saturday morning.
You probably could have guessed that!

I also spent a lot of time thinking about my attitude.
A bit spoiled, a bit rotten, and probably a bit smelly this week, just like my milk.
An attitude that swung between entitlement ~ How dare they keep taking MY lights!
and false humility ~ Look how much I'm suffering as a missionary!
and rage ~ What is wrong with these people!?!
An attitude that was controlled by my circumstances and not by truth.
An attitude whose words were directed at people and things, but whose heart was pointing an accusing finger at God.
Every time I "raged against The Machine", I was really raging against the One who allowed The Machine to break.
I wasn't really just angry at the electric company, in the end I was really angry at God for allowing me to go through a hard week.
And that, my friends, is sin.

So with the scrubbing of the floors, and the walls, and the cabinets, and the refrigerator, and the freezer, and the mop, and my shoes, I made sure to do a bit of scrubbing of myself.
A good soul-scrubbing, washing away every bit of that sour attitude right along with the sour milk.


* I share this not to glory in my infirmities or pat myself on the back, but to simply share how Jesus keeps teaching me what I need to learn again and again. And if you find yourself in a sour milk kind of week? Maybe this story will be a blessing to you, too!

Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving (Part 1)

It was a simple mistake. A miscalculation. A wrong assumption. And it was my fault.

In Hot Water

I have to admit…

It is easy to be negative here.  I am actually a pretty positive, optimistic person by nature, but there is something about this place that can bring out the critical person in me… the trash, the overcrowded city, the “me first” mentality of the culture, the traffic torture, the pagan rituals, the dogs barking, the horns honking at 3 a.m., the mosquitoes…

(Chief with his rat... I hate rats. Good boy, Chief! We caught five in two days!)

Yes, they can bring out the worst in me… um… pretty easily.

Missionary Monday - Advice for the New Missionary (part 2)...

Missed part 1?  Click here.  As mentioned last week, this question was posted on our BMW facebook group page:

What advice would you share with new missionaries

to help them adjust and survive the first term?

We had a great response.  Here is some advice from veteran missionaries. (Since there was so much great advice given, this will be in two parts!)...

- I am only in my second term, but one thing that has helped me tremendously is remembering that I am not the first missionary woman to have faced this (whatever it may be) challenge. So many godly women of all ages and in all stages of life have gone before me. Get to know the other missionaries within the country and glean from their wisdom about the culture, family life, and ministry opportunities.  -Hannah

 

- Balance sure is the key. Our kids go everywhere with us, but we have family day on Tuesday, and it is sacred!!  -Althea
 

- Patience. Lots of patience--learning the culture, learning the language, etc. No matter what language, it takes months to be able to hear and use the language with fluency; and some languages take years. You have to have a lot of patience with yourself.  -Marcia
 

- 1. Where you can--. develop and encourage the local customs in your home--example: we eat Japanese food with whatever utensil they would use i.e. chopsticks, spoons, etc.; we leave our shoes downstairs in the entryway; we learned the words used for entrance and leaving; we learned the way to bow to various 'types' of people, etc... Your testimony in spiritual things will go a whole lot further if you try to do as they do when it is no harm to your personal testimony. When it does, we politely stand away from it, and now they know what we don't partake in and are not offended.
2. Encourage godly biblical associations with missionaries that may be in your general area because you need fellowship, but be careful of SO needing English speakers around you that you eventually break down your stand. We didn't have this problem because we started in the non-computer era--but be careful of filling the needs for English, family (from far away), etc. that your time around your daily schedule is filled with computer time so that eventually you are not developing relationships with those you seek to reach.
Those are the main two I would think to add to the family matters that have already been talked about. And #2 I even have to be careful even after 30 years--not so much because I need the English speaking, etc...that isn't the reason any more--it's the grandkids and family I have on the other side of the world that could take up a lot more of my time than I should. And God bless--those struggles you go through the first couple years especially can be overwhelming at times--take them to the Lord in prayer--He will meet you there!!  -Vicki
 

-  I agree with the ladies in finding your ministry. Yes, my family is my #1 priority, but it helped when I could be more involved. I started a ladies' Bible study, and we meet weekly. I look forward to it each week, and it gets me deeper into God's Word. I also helped start a weekly co-op with our homeschool group. This has been a huge blessing. I also have made time to take one of the ladies from church out for lunch every week or so. Please note, I'm not boasting, just sharing what has helped me. Another thing that helped me was I prayed and asked God for an Aussie friend who would help me learn the culture. Although Australia is similar to America, there are still many differences. The Lord brought me a wonderful friend who helped me with the different words from cooking to just learning the area so I could be more independent. Most importantly, and this is for whether it's your first term or tenth, keeping your relationship with God as your priority is key. When you feel friends and family have deserted you, He is ALWAYS there.  -Jen
 

- Before we had children, I was involved in many different ministries. When I had three children who were three and under, I could not be as involved in all of the ministries that I had been doing. It was a discouragement at times because it felt like I did not do anything at all at the church, but balance is definitely the key. Now, our oldest child is eight, and the youngest is four. They are able to do ministry related things with us. It is important not to neglect your family, but at the same time, you do not want to completely neglect the ministry either.  -Laura
 

- I remember arriving in Panama a few years ago with a five year old, an almost three year old, and an almost two month old baby and feeling like I was "treading water" in relation to ministry, no energy, confused in the language, etc. I was feeling downright depressed, like I couldn't balance a plate, let alone life! I remember a wise missionary lady encouraging me to dig in and relish this time of life, that I was training my co-laborers in the ministry. Now, a few years down the road and having added another precious baby to our family, I have lots of things I can do in the ministry and lots of things that my babies (now 9, 7, 4, and 7 months) do right alongside me. I feel blessed to have more energy now and a better handle on my fit in our ministry. Sometimes the "little years" with your children can feel like slogging through in slow motion, but when you keep focused on Christ, stay in communication with your husband, and realize how short the years really are, you will turn around one day and have the best of both worlds when your children and outside ministry really start working in harmony or synergistically. I love having my kiddos ask me when we/they can go make visits, hand out tracts, sing a special, take up the offering, attempt to lead music, work with the children, etc. They are having a great time and don't even realize they are working a ministry.  -Ruth

 

 

-  Lots of great advice here! We've only been on the field for (almost) eight years, but I would say to be teachable. Sometimes new missionaries feel as though they already know everything there is to know about the mission field, when in reality there is so much you can learn from the other missionaries as well as from the native people. 


I've also noticed that sometimes the missionary wife does not like her country, and that not only cultivates a spirit of bitterness in her heart but also in her children's. Try to love the people and the place in which God has placed you. Look for the good in everything, and you'll always find something.  -Carole
 

- I would say encourage your family back home to not always be mentioning everything you are missing and how much they miss you. I know my family misses me, but they tell me how much they love me and are praying for me. As a result, I don't feel guilty about not being there for every family function. I have missed some pretty big things, but they get it, and so do I. I have seen missionaries miserable and have a hard time adjusting to their field because their heart is still in the US. Another thing is don't allow or teach your children to think they are missing out on things because they are mks or that they "deserve" something because of it. I worked with several couples who were great in this area . They emphasized how many cool things they got to experience because they were in ministry. Instead of growing up with a sense of entitlement, they grew up with servants' hearts. Make friends with nationals and spend time in their culture aside from ministry...it will be an encouragement to them and you, not to mention for those learning the language immersion is the best way. So, one for singles...remember your mission...it's not about finding a spouse. If the Lord provides in that area fine, but be careful as the decisions you make can greatly affect the ministry you are involved in...in good and bad ways. Remember relationships between guys and girls on a foreign field are NOT always looked at the same as in the States. Be accountable to someone; it's a great idea for you and your testimony.  -Cynthia
 

- I second the comment about being teachable and learning all you can from other missionaries on the field. So many times I was my own obstruction as I wanted to ask a question of an older/more experienced missionary about the culture or an aspect of ministry or life in general. I would figure out what I wanted to say but then back off because of not wanting to seem like I was denigrating the country, culture, or people and wind up offending someone when all I really wanted was to understand. Sometimes ya just gotta stick your neck out!  -Ruth
 

- One more thing; if you are serving God, you are going to be under attack all the time. You experienced that on deputation, but during the time that you are adjusting to the language and culture, the attack will most likely be more focused. You are going through so many changes, and it can be confusing. You will NOT be able to see all of Satan's designs against you. You don't have a chance to survive spiritually if you aren't plugged into Christ every day. Do not, do not neglect your spiritual life. It is over all the most important thing that will help you survive when you are depressed, keep you from being overwhelmed, and help you to remember the blessings that we have as His servants. Then there's another type of attack when you get comfortable where you are, and you don't feel so desperately in need clinging to Christ every minute. Yes, you still need Him. What I'm saying is, don't let any change in your life push you to neglect your spiritual life. Keep a close eye on it, and when you feel out of balance, make the changes you need to get centered back on Him! This is my greatest challenge by far, and the thing I struggle with more than anything.  -Sarah

- Realize it's a process. Be teachable. Cling to The Lord.  -Lisa
 

Did we miss something?  Do you have anything to add?  Please leave a comment!

Missionary Monday - Advice for the New Missionary (part 1)...

This question was posted on our BMW facebook group page:

What advice would you share with new missionaries

to help them adjust and survive the first term?

We had a great response.  Here is some advice from veteran missionaries. (Since there was so much great advice given, this will be in two parts!)...

- Occupy as much of your time as possible with learning the language. Have daily lessons and spend lots of time with non-English speaking locals. Also, try to make contact with another missionary in the country (if there is one) with whom you can fellowship and from whom you can learn. Also, don't be expecting all of your old friends and family members to keep in touch. Some will, but most will only be able to keep it up for the first year (if that). Don't set yourself up for a major disappointment. It was the toughest lesson of my first term.  -Suzy

- Leave America and what you miss behind. Make this your HOME. You'll never feel 'at home' in America again anyway, to be honest. Love, love, love (through Christ) the people in your new country and be humble and teachable always. -Joy

- Adjusting takes time. Even after you are "adjusted," there will still be those "culture shock" days when everything seems foreign. At times when you are feeling overwhelmed, remember Proverbs 3:5-6. Worrying is "leaning to our own understanding." No matter what the circumstance, we can fully trust in the Lord.  We still at times get culture shock ten years later. Oh, and when you return to the States, you will also have culture shock  -Laura

- I am only in my first term....and not at all experienced; however, I would suggest that you and your family get a nice, clean, comfortable and big enough place to live....one that you (the wife) just love!! Depending on where you are (mission field), language may not even be the issue. The biggest issue for me was the house thing; we looked at many that just made me cry. Then, we found one that I did not think we would ever get...(thought it was out of our range), but God provided.  -Faith Ann

- Don't be surprised by the strong feelings of homesickness. God made us to become attached to family and what we are used to; so it is normal. I feel more homesick over missing family members' kids growing up than anything else. It helps me to acknowledge the ache and be thankful for the privilege to serve God in the same moment. It is not wrong to live with unfulfilled longings because God can use these in a powerful way in our lives!  -Sarah

-  I would say every time you think of something negative about where you live, make yourself think of something positive. Do your best not to compare. Laugh at your mistakes because the natives will!  -Althea

- Don't be cocky. You will alienate those who eventually can be some of the dearest people to you - other missionaries.  -Maureen

- Definitely spend time learning the language!!!! It can't be over emphasized, and it defines your limitations as to what kind of ministry YOU the wife will have. Also, pray early for God to give you a love for the people to whom you will be ministering. He will, and the people will see if you are genuine or not. Also, ladies, strive to have a ministry of your own. I do not mean to offend anyone with this, but I did not come all the way to Siberia to wash dishes and teach my children at home. Those are wonderful ways I can serve my family and provide a Christian education for my children, but I want the Lord to use me directly in the ministry. In Russia, for example, most of the first contacts you have with people are through the wives or ladies. We need to be able to meet them, make friends with them, invite them to church or find other ways to invite them to church activities in order to see them come to Christ. My hubby cannot do that as well as I can! Pray and ask God to use you in more ways than a wife, mother, and housewife. Strive to be needed in the ministry on the mission field, not just a wallflower! Get involved! Pray for God to show you new ways to reach out to women and children and get in there and serve God!  -DeeDee

- I would say to be very careful about comparing yourselves to other missionaries, especially those who have been on the field longer than you have. I did this with material things. I saw the conveniences other wives had and did not understand what it took for them to get to that place. They had been there and accumulated things for years! I now understand that you will not "have it all" your first term or maybe even your second or third. My biggest lesson I learned was to be content with the things God gave me and the ministry He gave us. You also have to learn that the other missionaries have spent years building a ministry, and you will not have that same type of ministry right off the bat. Oh, and you will make mistakes. Get over it, only Jesus did everything right. Learn from your mistakes and let God disciple you on the field. -Sarah

- Take one day at a time. Get up every morning and ask God to help you get through that day, and then thank Him at night when the day is done. Everything from language to culture takes time, and you can get overwhelmed if you try to take it all on at once. -Marty

- A very wise woman told me to just be myself and not to feel like I had to be like other missionaries. It is very true. God made you who you are for a reason, and He uses your special talents and personality to reach even that one person who needs to know the Lord as their Saviour. That first move is always scary, but once you get settled in and into a rhythm of doing things where you are, things are not so bad. -Amanda

- Have certain times (like holidays) when you try to do things the 'American' (or Australian, Canadian etc.) way, but don't spend every day comparing everything to America. You'll drive yourself (and everyone around you) crazy! Realize that just because it's not the way you did it 'back home' doesn't mean it's the wrong way.  -Amanda

-  Balance, Balance and more balance! I agree that we need to have a ministry to call our own. When my children were young, (we came to the field when they were 3, 4, 5, 9, 10) I felt "home bound" because I was raising, homeschooling, and feeding my kids. So, I wrote in the front of my Bible, "As long as you have your husband and children to tend to, THEY ARE your ministry." I remember someone once said, "I'm investing in my children because someday when they are grown, my ministry will be multiplied through their ministry." It must have worked because our eldest son and his wife are here ministering to the Russian people; our second son and his family will be joining us this summer; our eldest daughter is married to a man called to Russia; our second daughter is already back here working and ministering with us, and our youngest is in medical school desiring to serve the Lord through medical missions. So, I feel that I'm reaping fruit from all these ministries because I was faithful to my main ministry of the family while our children were growing up. If you have a wonderful church ministry yet lose your children because they resent the ministry and think that it stole your attention from their needs, you've lost big time. So, like I said, "Balance, balance, balance!" It doesn't mean you can't have a ministry; it means that you should involve your children in whatever ministry you have and make it their ministry too. Hope this is understandable- I'm not condemning, just saying what worked for me.  -Kathy

Come back next week for part 2.

Do you have anything to add?  We would love to hear your comments.

 

Greener Grass

Is the grass really greener on the other side?

Some days I long to be living back in America. I think of how wonderful it is to have water every day, stable electricity, a well-stocked grocery store, smooth roads, convenience, privacy... At times I can feel very alone, with a feeling that no one understands my life, or is holding me up in prayer.

We just got back from a short trip to the States. I was so excited to "eat up" as much 'green grass' as I could during those six weeks. And I thoroughly enjoyed the hot baths, regular electricity (although it did go out for several hours one night), shopping, and eating out. America was just as "green" as I remembered it - or was it?

My first Sunday back at our sending church a lady shares how her husband lost his job, and they are trusting God to meet their needs. I hear of another church member who is losing her house. Both are faithful givers. (My 'dusty' side of the world finds my bank account with support from those who faithfully give through their local church.) While out of town I get a phone call from my son. "Mr. So-And-So just committed suicide." The next Sunday I hug the wife, and watch as the son breaks down while singing in the choir. 

You know what I found over there in the 'green grass?'

heartache 
loss
pain
suffering

The Lord speaks to my heart and asks me some hard questions:

• Are you really thankful for what I provide for you?
• Do you think you deserve what I provide?
• Do you care about the suffering of others as much as you want them to care about you?
• Do you pray for others in the way you hope they pray for you?

My mind wanders to Psalm twenty-three...

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."

It hits me. 'Green grass' isn't a place, it's a Person. Jesus wants to lead me to green pastures. And when I follow Him, He restores my soul - not family, or friends, or Walmart. He also wants me to point others to follow Him. Whether that be first through a saving knowledge of Him, or to be reminded that in Him are the answers and comfort they need.

5 Steps to be Content

As women it is easy to look around and compare ourselves with others. We may think, “well if only I had a husband like hers, I could be the Proverbs 31 woman,” or “if only I had kids like hers I could be a better mom,” or “if only my house was bigger, cleaner, better, or fill in the blank _______.”

I want to encourage you to stop the “if onlys”. Stop comparing yourself to others, and compare yourself to God’s Word.

Philippians 4:11 says, “..for I have learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content.”

Let’s look at what the Bible tells us about comparing ourselves to others.

"For we dare not make ourselves of the number,

or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves:

but they measuring themselves by themselves,

and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."

II Corinthians 10:12

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live;

yet not I, but Christ liveth in me:

and the life which I now live in the flesh

I live by the faith of the Son of God,

who loved me, and gave himself for me."

Galatians 2:20, 6:4

5 Steps to be Content...

• You need to be content with who God has created you to be.
• You need to be content with the husband God has given you.
• You nee to be content with the children God has given you.
• You need to be content with the house and things God has given you.
• You need to be content with Who God is. He IS all you need.

As Christians we have an identity in Christ…we are new creatures in Him.

“Don’t compare yourself to others

and don’t allow feelings of insecurity to rob you of your identity in Christ.

He loves you and created you for a purpose.”

Author Unknown

To read more about your identity in Christ, read these passages...

• Colossians
• Psalm 139
• I Peter 2:9
• Galatians 4:6-7
• Jeremiahs 29:11
• Ephesians 2:10
• John 1:12-13

Work on your vertical relationship (your relationship with God) and the horizontal relationships (your relationships with your husband, children, family and friends) will be where they need to be.

Comparing yourself to others will only cause you to become discouraged and then you will believe the lies of the devil that you are not worthy of God's love, and that, my dear friend, is Satan's biggest lie!