Missionary Monday ~ You Paid How Much?!!!!

 

You paid how much?!

 

I found this king size Reese's Cup and paid $4.50.

And it was worth every penny!

 

So, it got me thinking how much are we missionaries willing to spend on those little comforts from home.  I asked the question in our facebook group, and here are some of the responses...

 

Peanut M&M's - $6 (not for a huge bag either!)

Hershey's Syrup - $12

Twizzlers - $1 for 3 pieces

Jiff Peanut Butter - $10

Tortilla chips - $10

Salsa - $5

Pickles - $13

Velveeta - $15 (one block)

Dr. Pepper - $2 can

 

(This is just the short list!)

 

 

 

Julia sent these photos of her daughter, Chloe, 3, with a box of 24 packs of cookies.  She says, "Notice it includes Nutter Butters which I haven't seen here before, and is a favorite of ours. We paid $669 pesos for this which comes out to $16! Yes, a lot, but we are hiding them, only to take out for special occasions!!"

 

 

 

How much are you willing to pay for your favourite food?!

 



A Tangled Mind???

Well, we are at the end of our “tangled tongue” stories until someone else passes some more along.  I just have a couple more for you today.

When learning Spanish, a missionary was trying to say, “Excuse me,” but kept saying, “Spit on me,” instead.

When playing a game of Uno, a missionary told the other player that they were very ugly instead of unkind.

Another lady was teaching a Christian charm course for young ladies.  She was telling them about face cream and how moisturizing can help keep from having wrinkles.  Instead of wrinkles she said warts.  Those girls were horrified!

My husband and I have been learning Fante, the tribal language in our area.  One of the major problems with Fante is that the same word can mean many different things.  It just depends on the tone of voice in which it is said and the context in which it is used.  For example, the word “dɔ” (pronounced daw) can mean 1. To heat up; 2. To love; 3. To be fed up; 4. To dive; 5. To swear by something; 6. To seek refuge; 7. Deep.  Forget tangled tongues; I have a tangled mind!! Just when I think I am beginning to understand, I learn a new meaning for a word.  I may never master Fante, but I will keep trying.

If you have a language blooper or a funny story that you would like to share with us, please e-mail them to me at lo@consfords.com. Please include the name of each family member, your field of service, and a picture of your family if possible.

Until next week, keep your sunny side up!

Strange Prayers and Strange Answers

Have you ever prayed for something really, really different? I mean something between you and God that was not exactly “normal”? I know I have. I  have prayed for keys to be found, for lawn mowers to start, for a parking space. (I live in Europe. Very few spaces here!) And, God has answered these atypical prayers with yeses.

It was brought to my attention that the Bible’s people also prayed some really strange prayers.

Here are just a few of them:

Abraham prayed that God would not destroy the righteous with the wicked (Sodom and Gomorrah). He prayed if there were 50, 45, 40 (getting bolder now), 30, 20, or even 10 righteous, that God would spare those cities.

God’s answer: “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:22-33)

Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, was sent to find a bride for Isaac. He prayed for God’s choice to give him water and also water his camels.

God’s answer: Before he was finished with his prayer, Rebekah came to the well with her pitcher on her shoulder. She gave Eliezer water and offered to water his camels. (Genesis 24:12-15)

Joshua prayed perhaps one of the boldest prayers in history. He asked God to halt the sun and the moon until Israel could finish the battle against the Amorites. (Right. I mean, ask God to alter the rhythms of nature so we can beat the enemy! This one is really crazy.)

God’s answer: The sun and the moon stopped for “about a whole day.” Obviously, God didn’t think it was so crazy. (Joshua 10:12-14)

Elijah held a showdown on Mount Carmel. He had the people prepare an altar unto God and soak it with water three times. Then, Elijah prayed, LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, let it be known this day that thou art God in Israel, and that I am thy servant, and that I have done all these things at thy word. Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that thou art the LORD God, and that thou hast turned their heart back again. (Verses 36-37)

God’s answer: Then the fire of the LORD fell, and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood, and the stones, and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench. (Verse 38. Story in 1 Kings 18:20-39)

Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, if it is You, let me walk on the water to You.” (My paraphrase of Matthew 14:28)

God’s answer: Peter did indeed walk on water for a while. Then he got scared, took his eyes off of Jesus, and began to sink. Jesus stretched out His hand and rescued Peter, and you get the impression that they walked together back to the boat. (Matthew 14:28-32)

I am certainly not trying to motivate anyone to pray silly, outrageous prayers, but have you ever prayed for something out-of-the-ordinary? Did God answer?

God says He will answer prayers that are according to His will. And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him (1 John 5:14-15).

We usually know His will by the direction we get in His Word, the Bible. Sometimes, His will might be revealed to us through opened doors (or closed doors), those circumstances that show us what is right.

Always, God hears and answers. Sometimes, the answer might be yes. Other times, it is no. And yet other times, we need to wait on the Lord in consistent prayer, asking Him for wisdom and guidance. God’s timing and His will are always, always best.

Dare to pray a “strange prayer.” Dare to ask God for what you really need.

If it is God’s will, you just might see an amazing answer!

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing,

ye shall receive (Matthew 21:22).

Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name:

ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full (John 16:24).

******************************************************************

This was a guest post written by Lou Ann Keiser,

one of the newest members of our missionary group.

Please visit her blog: In The Way.

Holidays: Stateside! Valethanksmas Birthdependeaster Day

(This is a continuation of the Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving Series.)
Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving Part 1
Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving Part 2

Happy Valethanksmas Birthdependeaster Day!

That's a mouthful, isn't it? Before we left the States, we celebrated one last holiday with the family... ALL the holidays rolled into one! (This idea works great for those heading to the field for the first time, or for those on furlough who will not get to spend each of the holidays with family because of short furloughs or travelling needs.)

Lunch Time: Fruity Chicken Salad Sandwiches

Although we don't eat a ton of sandwiches for lunch here, this is a favorite whenever we do!
I first had this sandwich many years ago out on the lake with a friend's family.
It took me a while to track down a similar recipe, but I'm glad I did!

Feel free to substitute exact kinds of fruit, as those can be a bit tricky on the foreign field!

Fruity Chicken Salad Sandwiches

1/3 c. mayonnaise
salt and pepper to taste
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar
2 c. diced cooked chicken
1 lg. Red Delicious apple, cored and diced (use whatever kind you have!)
1 c. red or green grapes, quartered (and seeded, if necessary)
                          OR
1/2 c. raisins, if grapes are unavailable
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
8 slices bread
4 lg. lettuce leaves

In a small bowl, stir together the mayo, salt, pepper, and vinegar.
In a large bowl, combine chicken, apple, and grapes.
Sprinkle with lemon juice.
Add mayo mixture and toss gently.
Toast bread.
Scoop chicken salad onto bread and top with lettuce leaf.

Enjoy!

Missionary Monday ~ Come Link Up Your Blog

Every once in awhile, I like to give you the opportunity to link up your blog.

This is a great way to meet other missionaries

and for them to meet you.

So, please link up your blog; then take some time to go say hi to the others.

Don't forget to leave a comment on their blog!

Oh, and it would be awesome if you would share our link.

(You can get the code in the sidebar on the right.)

Tangled Tongues – Watch out for those Squirrels!

This week, we have another story from Rita Vernoy. She and her husband are missionaries in Paraguay.  She blogs at http://ritaloca.blogspot.com.br/.  They went to language school in Mexico for a year before going to Venezuela as missionaries.  They had to leave Venezuela due to political turmoil and are now serving the Lord in Paraguay.

When they first arrived in Venezuela, Rita’s husband took the pastorate of a church.  This meant that he had to prepare four sermons a week.  His Spanish was decent, but he still had to put a lot of effort into sermon preparation. 

One Sunday, he stood to preach on the subject of “Pride.”  He had a three-point outline and had put a lot of effort into preparing the sermon.  For thirty minutes, he preached about pride.  He told the congregation to search their lives for pride.  He told them that there is no place for pride in the Christian’s life.  It was a very challenging message.

The problem was that the congregation was not responding appropriately.  Many of the people had big smiles, and some were trying not to laugh out loud.  Some looked at their feet during the entire sermon. The adults kept their laughter contained, but the children were laughing.

Rita’s husband was so discouraged with the spirit of the congregation.  He knew that God had wanted him to preach on pride, and he did not understand the problem with the people.  Rita had to break it to him gently that instead of preaching on pride, which is “orgullo” in Spanish, he had used the word “ardilla,” which is the Spanish word for squirrel.  The mental picture that those people were getting would have been quite funny – Christians hunting out and killing squirrels, God hating squirrels, and Christians not having room for squirrels in their lives!

The following week, her husband did not even want to preach.  He was embarrassed about his sermon from the week before.  However, he was the pastor; so, he had to swallow his “squirrels” and preach anyway!

Thank you for sharing that story with us, Rita!

If you have a language blooper or a funny story that you would like to share with us, please e-mail them to me at lo@consfords.com. Please include the name of each family member, your field of service, and a picture of your family if possible.

Until next week, keep your sunny side up!

Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving (Part 2)

(Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving Part 1)

Our birthdays were one week apart; so we chose every year to celebrate them together. Jason's Mom and I even planned our own birthday get-togethers. We would conspire if we wanted a cookout or if we wanted to go out to eat. We chose the menu, the dessert, and location. Then we would pass the information on to the guys. It was their job to make our plans happen.

Sharon (Gramma) and I were quite a pair. And we loved sharing our special day together because we loved each other so much. I never had a reason to complain about my mother-in-law. She was amazing!

Please Excuse Me... I'm On Furlough

Sometimes a person just needs a good laugh. Recently when I posted a question on the Baptist Missionary Women Facebook page, I expected a few giggles. Instead, I found myself with several good, long, deep, belly-rolling laughs. I also discovered that one little post can provide such joy to so many. So in order to keep the laughs rolling, I have compiled the original post and the replies. Clearly the ladies on that Facebook page share more than just laughs. We all need prayer, lots and lots of prayer for furloughs!

Enjoy!

Breakfast {Or Snack} Time: Frozen Fruit Cups

Are you looking for a quick, make-ahead light breakfast or maybe just a tasty snack to have on hand for the kiddos {or yourself!}?
If so, this recipe is for you!
I found this recipe years ago in an old Midwest Living magazine my mom sent me.
The nice thing is that it works no matter where you are in the world ~ just as long as fruit grows there!

Favorite Frozen Fruit Cup

Simple Syrup:
2 c. sugar
1 c. water

In a medium saucepan, combine sugar and water.
Bring to boiling over medium heat, stirring until sugar is dissolved.
Boil gently, uncovered, for 2 minutes more.
Remove from heat, cool until warm.
Meanwhile, line twenty-four muffin cups with cupcake papers or silicon cupcake liners; set aside.

Fruit:
1 can diced pineapple, drained
1 small package frozen sliced strawberries, partially thawed
1 can apricot halves, drained and chopped
4 bananas, sliced
           OR
whatever fresh/frozen/canned fruit you have!
I often use fresh pineapple, papaya, oranges, and bananas.
Whatever you think will taste good together probably will!

In a large bowl, combine fruit.
Pour warm syrup over fruit, tossing gently.
Spoon fruit mixture into prepared cups, filling each almost full.
Cover with plastic wrap; freeze at least 4 hours or overnight.
To serve, let fruit cup stand at room temperature 10 minutes {or less if you live in a hot climate!}

Enjoy!

Missionary Monday ~ Grocery Budgets Around the World

I hope you enjoyed the series on Homeschooling Children for Ministry.  We are going to take a bit of a break from the series, but there IS more to come!

Grocery Budgets Around the World

Last week in our Baptist Missionary Women Group on Facebook, we discussed our weekly food budget.  I thought I would share it here on our blog.

Africa (Chad) - $125 (family of 7)

Australia - $220 (family of 5)

Bolivia - $100 (family of 3)

Brazil - $15 (family of 4)

Chili - $200 (family of 5)

Costa Rica - $55 (family of 3)

Dominica Republic - $125 (family of 5)

Ecuador - $90 (family of 2)

El Salvador - $125 (family of 5)

England (London) - $125 (family of 4)

Ghana - $125 (family of 5)

India - $80 (family of 5) 

           $100 (family of 3)

Indonesia - $100-$125 (family of 5)

Jamaica - $125 (family of 2)

Japan - $100 (family of 2)

Mexico - $50 (family of 3)

                $125 (family of 6)

                $150 (family of 4)

             

Panama City - $125 (family of 2)

Peru - $125-$150 (family of 5)

Philippians - $150 (family of 9)

Romania - $210 (family of 9)

Slovakia - $100 (family of 4)

Thailand - $140 ( family of 6)

Ukraine - $200 (family of 8)

Vanuatu - $75 (family of 1)

Did I miss where you live?  What is your grocery budget?



Tangled Tongues - Part 3

This week, we have a great story from Rita Vernoy.  She and her husband are missionaries in Paraguay. She blogs at RitaLoca.BlogSpot.com.

They went to language school in Mexico for a year before going to Venezuela as missionaries.  They had to leave Venezuela due to political turmoil and are now serving the Lord in Paraguay.

Shortly after they had arrived in Venezuela, they went to visit a family who had visited the church.  The young couple invited them in for coffee.  As Rita sat listening, the woman was explaining about a documentary they had seen on television.  Rita thought the documentary was about chickens.  The other lady seemed very impressed with the subject.  Rita had some first-hand knowledge about chickens.  She decided to join the conversation.  She said quite proudly, “I have killed chickens myself.”  The other lady’s eyes got very large as she asked, “You???”  Rita went on to say that it was an easy but messy job and that her Dad used to kill dozens at one time.  The other lady looked at her husband with a look of disbelief and said, “Really???” 

By this time, Rita’s husband was almost rolling on the floor as he tried to contain his laughter.  Rita was getting a little perturbed.  She was from West Virginia, and raising chickens was not so difficult!!  Rita replied, “Of course!  It’s not hard!” With a disapproving look the other lady asked, “And how do you kill them?” Rita said, “Why, by grabbing them firmly around the neck and swinging them by the neck until it breaks!  It is quite easy to do if you know the method!”  Rita’s husband could no longer contain his laughter and burst out laughing.  The lady’s husband exclaimed, “You killed them by breaking their necks with your bare hands?!?”  Rita angrily said, “Yes!”  Through laughter the lady asked, “You can kill “WHALES” with your bare hands?!”  Rita said, “Whales? What are you talking about?”

Rita’s husband finally took pity on her and told her that the documentary was on “Whale Killing,” not chickens!  With a very red face, she realized the mistake that she had made.  She thought that the lady said “gallina,” but she had said “ballena.”  Since that time, that man has become a pastor.  Anytime that Rita is around, she is introduced as “The whale killer!”

Thank you for sharing that story with us, Rita!

If you have a language blooper or a funny story that you would like to share with us, please e-mail them to me at lo@consfords.com. Please include the name of each family member, your field of service, and a picture of your family if possible.

Until next week, keep your sunny side up!

Holidays: Thriving, Not Just Surviving (Part 1)

It was a simple mistake. A miscalculation. A wrong assumption. And it was my fault.

Breakfast Time: Leftover Oatmeal Muffins

Are you oatmeal eaters at your house?
I must confess that up until very recently, we haven't been.
Both my hubby and I had some nasty run-ins with oatmeal at young ages that have scarred us for the better part of a few decades.
But we are trying it again. Not really oatmeal, per se, but a soaked oat porridge.
I'm still messing with it a bit, but hubby and I are now able to swallow it down, and the kiddos actually seem to enjoy it.
I have found out one funny problem with oatmeal, though.
There always seems to be a little bit left.
Every. single. time.
That's where this delicious little recipe comes in {pic and recipe courtesy of Amanda}.
This lovely dish uses up that last bit of oatmeal so nothing goes to waste.
And guess what!?! They are delicious {better than the oatmeal itself, in my opinion!}.

Leftover Oatmeal Muffins

1 cup cooked oatmeal
1 egg
1 TBSP melted butter/oil
1/2 cup milk
4 TBSP honey/sugar/maple syrup
2 TBSP baking powder
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup 'extra somethings' - raisins, chocolate chips, berries, etc.

Mix together dry ingredients (flour, baking powder) and make a "well" in the middle.
Mix together wet ingredients in separate bowl (cooked oatmeal, egg, butter/oil, milk, sweetener).
Pour wet ingredients into "well" and stir until everything is wet, but still lumpy.
Stir in "extra somethings" just until mixed.
Scoop into prepared muffin tins.
Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes.
Makes 12-18 muffins (depending on how you fill your cups!)

Enjoy!

Homeschooling Children for Ministry Part Five

                              

Homeschooling Your Children in the Midst of a Loss
Homeschool years are never free from interruptions and problems, but the loss of a loved one can cause a huge setback in your children’s schooling if you are not careful. My family experienced such a loss last year when my mother passed away after her two year battle with cancer. These following tips are some things that we did to help us get through that difficult time.

 

Emphasize Heaven.
Heaven is as real to my family as Paris or Rome. While we have never been to those cities, we know that they exist. In the same way, when my mother passed away, my children talked about Heaven as if she had gone there on a trip. They still draw pictures of her in Heaven and talk about being excited to go see her someday. Their belief in Heaven is so vivid and strong that it has taken much of the edge off of the pain of losing their nana. I read aloud “Heaven for Kids” by Randy Alcorn with my kids a few months before my mom passed away. This book is a Scriptural account of Heaven that is comforting to both parents and their children and it answered a lot of the questions that my children had about death.

 

Reassure your children that someone will always care for them.

When a close family member passes away, a child can become insecure that they may lose their parents, too. It is both unwise and unrealistic to tell your children that you or your husband would never die. A better solution is to tell them that it is unlikely that you would die, but that you have a plan for them just in case. It is vital to prepare a will and select a guardian for your children. My kids know the guardian that we have prayerfully chosen for them, and they find this information comforting. A death in the family can cause anxiety in your children, but by being prepared for the worst, you can reassure them that they will always be cared for.

 

Be Honest.
Tell your children the truth about the situation, but do it in increments that they can digest and manage. The information that you give them needs to be appropriate for their ages. My husband and I told our children that my mom had cancer, and described what it was. Later, we explained that God heals some people from cancer, but other people pass away. Once it became inevitable that my mom only had a couple of months left, we told our children that Nana would go to Heaven soon. They could see for themselves that she was becoming worse, so they were able to accept the information. When a death happens suddenly, the circumstances will call for a different approach. In that case, you must use pray and rely on God’s wisdom to help you to have the right words to say. There is no easy way to lose a loved one, but you can prepare your children in advance by allowing death and Heaven to be a natural topic of conversation in your home.

Keep your homeschool routine.

The different stages of grief can be easier for you and your children if you keep a routine. Knowing that you have something to get up for each morning and then going through the motions will help occupy your mind and give reassuring structure to your children. It may be too overwhelming to teach difficult school subjects, but you can make slow and steady progress on the easier ones. We lived with my mom during her last two months, and I had the kids work on their school work almost every day. She enjoyed seeing them doing school, and it gave all of us something else to think about besides cancer. If you ignore your children’s school work, then not only will you feel terrible from the grief, but the weight of getting behind can add additional stress. Accomplishing tasks is therapeutic and also necessary for your family's sense of well-being.

 

Plan activities for your children.

You will have days when homeschooling will just not be an option. On those days, ask your husband, friends, or family to take your children out of the house for the day. You may need a day to stay in bed and cry, or you may have unpleasant errands to take care of. I was very blessed to have friends who took my children swimming and others who had them spend the weekend at their house. I knew that they were well cared for, and I could handle difficult tasks without them around. My children still talk about how glad they were to have those special times with their friends and how it helped them not to be too overwhelmed about losing their nana.

 

Make special memories now.

There are no guarantees as to how much time we may have with our loved ones. Create special memories as a part of everyday life. Make lasting physical mementos as well. My friend recommended recording a special message of my mom's voice and putting it into a Build-a-Bear. So, my mom made one for each of my children, and they treasure her voice telling them how much she loves them. She also made a storybook with a recording of her reading it. Make videos of your children's grandparents and special relatives. You will find that these reminders become even more special over the years. The important thing is to make them while you still have time!

Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five

 

Tangled Tongues - Part 2

My husband has been interviewing veteran missionaries.  One of the questions that he asks is: “What has been the biggest mistake in your cross-cultural experience?” This question is meant to get a light-hearted response concerning language bloopers.  He has had some funny responses.  One man said that he was demanding a glass; they had brought him a canned drink, and he does not drink out of cans.  He kept insisting on a glass.  Finally, someone told him that they appreciated the fact that he was learning their language, but what was it exactly that he was wanting.  He told them in English that he wanted a glass.  They told him that he had been telling the man, “I want a kiss right now!”  If you would like to listen to some of these interviews, you can do so by going to missionaryonfire.com.

Here are some more language bloopers that other missionaries shared.

One man while preaching in French, said that the man was beaten with virgins (vierges) instead of rods (verges).

In a Spanish speaking country, a lady was trying to say that she was embarrassed (avergonsada); instead, she said that she was pregnant (embarasada).  Another lady made the same mistake at a Spanish conference, but she was dating the pastor’s son!

Someone was scolding some children for throwing dirt on her baby.  They gave her the “weird-lady-who never-makes-sense” look and continued throwing dirt.  Later, she figured out that she was saying homework instead of dirt.

A single lady was spending the summer with missionaries in Mexico.  She learned the word for hunger (hambre). At the close of her first teen meeting, she announced in front of everyone that she had very much “hombre,” which means men instead of hunger.  She was teased all summer about that one.

A man who was in language school in Russia meant to say, “I love Friday!” at the end of the day of classes.  Instead, he exclaimed quite loudly, “I love DRUNK!”  One “t” is the only difference between the two words.

A lady in the Dominican Republic was trying to ask the neighbor to help her with the cherries (cerezas), but she asked for help with the beers (cervesas) instead.

Another lady who is learning Spanish keeps saying that she cooked someone instead of saying that she knows them.

If you have a language blooper or a funny story that you would like to share with us, please e-mail them to me at lo@consfords.com. Please include the name of each family member, your field of service, and a picture of your family if possible.

Until next week, keep your sunny side up!

In Hot Water

I have to admit…

It is easy to be negative here.  I am actually a pretty positive, optimistic person by nature, but there is something about this place that can bring out the critical person in me… the trash, the overcrowded city, the “me first” mentality of the culture, the traffic torture, the pagan rituals, the dogs barking, the horns honking at 3 a.m., the mosquitoes…

(Chief with his rat... I hate rats. Good boy, Chief! We caught five in two days!)

Yes, they can bring out the worst in me… um… pretty easily.

4th of July Favorites

Last week I said that I'd be sharing cheese recipes here today.
Ummm......I  lied.
Well, not really lied, but changed my mind.
And I had good reason!
This week is the 4th of July, and just in case you don't have your special day planned, I thought I'd link up some favorites that absolutely must be a part of my favorite holiday.
Maybe they could be part of your celebration, too!?!

First up ~ the showstopping cake you see at the top and bottom of this post. My husband requests it every year! Definitely worth your time!
Second up ~ our favorite burger recipe ~ super juicy and tasty!
Third up ~ semi-homemade baked beans ~ not only are they quick and easy, they beat Busch's hands down!
Fourth up ~ want a fun side dish? Try this stained glass jello with red and blue jello, and cut into star shapes if you want the kids to really love it!
Fifth up ~ need a great looking hot dog bun recipe? This one looks delish {warning - I've not tried these, but they look excellent!}
Last up ~ if the cake looks a little too complex, try this tasty cheesecake instead!

Homeschooling Children for Ministry Part Four

Homeschooling through a loss

This is not a typical post that you will see about homeschooling.  However, I know so many women who are dealing with the loss of loved ones recently that I felt led to write it.  My prayer is to give encouragement and some practical advice that will assist you in your grieving process. 
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted” Matthew 5:4

I got the dreaded phone call just days before our family began deputation for Indonesia.  We had already packed up our home, said goodbye to my parents, and traveled across the country to our sending church in California.  After being gone only a month, my mom called to tell me that doctors had found a tumor on her brain and that they were doing surgery the following morning.  I flew back to Florida immediately and arrived twenty minutes before she went in to have surgery.  The doctors told us that my mother had six to fourteen months to live.  Both our lives changed that day.

Cancer has a funny way of allowing you to grieve in stages.  You can’t entirely grieve because the person is still there with you.  So you have to learn to live with your grief.  Putting life on hold is not an option.

Advice for the Mom

One of the most difficult seasons in any family is dealing with the loss of a loved one.  The grieving process can totally derail your homeschooling efforts for a period of time.  You do not have the option to send your children to capable teachers while you stay in bed and grieve.  If you are a homeschool mom, you must grieve in front of and with your children.  They become more involved in the process than a child who goes to school would, especially if you are caring for a loved one during their last days.  Here are some of the things that helped me and my family to get through this difficult time.

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.”  Matthew 6:34

1.   Purpose in your heart to live in the moment.

This practice helped me to get through each day and to experience seasons of joy in the midst of the storm.  When I spent time with my mom, we made the most of our day.  We did not think about cancer, but rather enjoyed each other’s company and made it our goal to make as many good memories for the kids as possible.  We hugged, went on walks, played, and took a trip to Hawaii.  Because of much prayer and my mom’s tenacity, she lived eight months longer than the predicted year, and had a high quality of life up until the last weeks.  We did not ignore the inevitable or avoid discussing difficult topics when necessary.  It was important for her to tell us where she wanted to be buried and that she was ready to go to Heaven.  Our focus during this time, however, was on life and not death.  Since her passing, I have grieved, but I try not to feel guilty if I have a good day. Time is very healing, too, but you must allow yourself to heal.

“Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:11-12

2.   Find others who have walked in your steps so that you do not feel alone.

After the initial shock that my mother had cancer wore off, the Lord brought into my life other women who had lost their moms or loved ones.  I needed to know that I would be able to go on and live a full life afterwards.  These women ministered to me through their own losses.  I still maintain a special bond with them because they helped me to get through that difficult time.  If you are facing the loss of someone special, please know that the pain eventually subsides and life does go on. Accept that as a gift from God.  It is ok to move on.  That is what your loved one would want you to do. (2 Samuel 12:16-23, Genesis 24:67,

Ruth 4:14-15)

“Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

3.   Allow people to minister to you.

Going through the death of a loved one should not be an isolated experience.  People want to step in and help during this time, and it is important that you allow them to do so.  It is not necessary to do everything on your own if you have someone who can do it for you.  I was very blessed with a church family and friends who reached out to me continually.  The most valuable service that they did for me was to take my children out and entertain them or watch them overnight.  Others brought over meals and offered to go grocery shopping.  Depending on your circumstances, someone may even be qualified to help you homeschool your kids for a short period of time.  Allow people to be a blessing to you, even if it is not in your nature to accept help or you do not feel like being bothered.  It will lighten your burden, and it will also allow them to express their grief in a tangible way.  Other people are mourning the loss of your loved one too, and this can give them an outlet in which to express it.

“Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the Lord, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.” 2 Samuel 12:20

4.   Take care of yourself physically.

Exercising, eating healthy and regular meals, fully dressing each morning, and getting enough sleep are some physical steps that you can take to keep you out of depression and give you the strength to perform your daily tasks.  While I was experiencing some of my most difficult grieving, we were visiting churches every week on deputation.  It was challenging to be at my best all the time.  Then, during my mom’s last two months, I stayed with her and became her nurse.  I needed physical and emotional endurance for both situations.  I made it my goal to walk or do some kind of physical activity every day.  Not only did it help me to stay strong, it also gave my body a physical release from the overwhelming stress.  While walking, I was able to cry and pray.  I always felt better afterwards.  In addition to exercise, I ate a balanced diet and limited my sugar intake.  I love sweets, but they can cause unnecessary mood swings, so I avoided them.  I put on nice clothes, fixed my hair, and applied makeup every day.  It helped me to feel better about myself, and I realized that it also encouraged those around me, including my mom.  I also became disciplined with my bedtime.  Typically a night owl, I made sure that I went to bed earlier and got 7-8 hours of sleep every night.  I took melatonin to help me sleep.  Melatonin is an herbal supplement, but I only recommend using it sparingly and for short durations.  It helped me to turn off my thoughts and get enough rest during the most challenging times.  By taking care of your physical needs, you will be better equipped to face the challenges of losing a loved one while still caring for your children and family.

“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22

5.   Do not neglect your quiet time with God.

I have saved the most important yet most often neglected thing last. It should go without saying, but sometimes in the midst of grief it is easy to allow Bible reading and prayer time to go by the wayside.  This is absolutely the most important aspect to keeping a clear mind and staying encouraged.  Keep a prayer journal. Listen to encouraging sermons by your favorite pastor.  God is your main source of strength, encouragement, and comfort during the loss of a loved one.  Meet with Him every day so that He can administer His healing balm to your wounded heart. 

Losing a loved one is one of the most painful processes that we experience in life.  Next week, I will share how to help your children grieve and accept that loss.  Also, I will share tips of how to keep your school year going while taking time to cry.  My kids still miss their nana very much, but they have come through the experience of her passing without becoming fearful and with a greater yearning for Heaven.

 

Miss the other posts?

Part One

Part Two

Part Three
Part Five